Wednesday, July 4, 2012

For Dolores, Special Plant City Friend from Texas

My blogging friend from Texas who has written on Plant City Lady and Friends, is going through rough times now with her David in a nursing home and not recognizing her. She is lonely.

I have been a widow and grieve with her as she begins the process of grieving while her husband is still alive. She likes large letters so here is what I wrote in a comment on her blog and am reposting here:

Your blog is such good therapy for you and for all of us grieving with you. "Bear one another's burdens," the Scripture says.
I reflect on my grief with my late husband's death twenty some years ago. It was so hard and a counselor helped me through. "Why are you so anxious to replace your husband?" he once asked me when I started dating another widower only four months after my late husband's death. I did heal and learn. It took eight years to remarry a godly, attentive husband, who is still godly and attentive despite his Alhzeimer's.

One session those many years ago, after working through much grief, the counselor said to me, "Get up each morning and pretend you are happy." Pretend? I'm thinking, but I didn't feel happy. Crying out to God and emersing myself in Scripture I did get through that stage and the years to follow. I repainted rooms in the house and forged a new life without a husband. I learned to live singlely.

Years later when the Alzheimer's diagnosis came to my current husband, I thought about the hard times of facing widowhood again.
Enter one lovely DOLORES who taught me to treasure every day with my husband with your comments on my blog. I do treasure every day now, as I pray earnestly for you to be given a "spot of joy" (husband's recent term) each day.
I am so grately for you and your blog, dear Internet blogging friend. I am one of the WHYS for what you are going through.

Hugs and prayers,



  1. You're so right about blogging being good for me, and a huge part of that is meeting special friends like you.
    Thank you so very much for your comments and kinds words of expression, they mean a lot to me!!!
    Prayers and hugs to you my Florida friend.....

  2. I'm going to be praying for you too Dolores. I dread the day when Gary no longer recognizes me. for now< though he doesn't speak more than once a week, I can see in his eyes the recognition. May God continue to comfort and strengthen us, as only He can. Laurie

  3. Praying for you both every Friday. Just had a wonderful answer to prayer myself.

    Hugs Laurie as well as Dolores.