If I would be a nice person, I would not write about this subject. Incontinence is not a nice subject. However I am a kind wife who has to address an issue bravely and this blog is all about one wife's brave journey (and all her distractions such as eyebrows and quilts) as a caregiver who has had lots of surprises along the way.
Because he walks so slowly now, my husband was not making it to the bathroom--it was bound to happen. So far my hubby has not wrecked a mattress, a couch or a car seat by peeing. I am trying to be proactive here, folks.
When we were on vacation, Kenny suggested I buy a product I had not bought before. Buy Depends, he said. Well, the closest drug store where we were, Rite Aid, didn't have the night time Depends--only the daytime pad to put in boxer briefs. However, I came to see that the Rite Aid nighttime product works great day and night. It's called Rite Aid Adult Protection Briefs for Men & Women. On line it costs $9.99 for a pack of 14 bought on line. At times we use Depends for Men Guard with his underwear, but that doesn't always work and the Rite Aid Protection full underwear is the working great so far.
We do not have Rite Aid Drug stores in Plant City, so I have ordered some on line. They will be about 85 cents a piece because I ordered several packages and the shipping is free with a promotion for products over $50.
In the middle of the night recently I noticed that hubby was in the master bathroom. He had a big pile of loose poop in his Rite Aid product. I remarked that these underpants do a good job--nothing was on the floor.
Hubby said to be quiet—someone might hear me.
Who? I wanted to know. We are home alone and no one else is in our house.
So you see my husband really has deteriorated both physically and mentally. No one was staying at our home and maybe he thought he was still at my brother's house.
Today when I told his doctor about the incontinence, the doctor said that hubby could go on a low dose of OXYBUTYNIN. He is starting on 1/2 of a 5 MG tablet twice a day. The side effects are dry mouth. Bingo! This side effect will get hubby drinking more water, green tea and cranberry juice to prevent UTIs!!!!
We have a wonderful small pharmacy in Plant City. When I went there to fill the Oxybutynin, they gave me a free pack of LEADER Protective Underwear and they look just as good and they even have a blue line in the back. If I like them or the Rite Aid brand or any other band, they will stock them for us! Will try the LEADER out and comment both on the medicine and the LEADER brand vs. the RITE AID brand on a comment on this post. Why they even cut the tablets in half for me!
Should you use Depends? It depends. For now I'm sticking with Rite Aid Adult Protection (or LEADER) for day and night. My husband is happy with this.
I'm sure that's a tough moment when you realize your loved one needs to use those.
ReplyDeleteYou have so much strength, Carol! I admire you a great deal!
Thanks, Barb, and the admiration is mutual for you one of my adopted nieces.
DeleteI have this verse above my sink (going to get it now):"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
I'm glad you blogged this. I know it will help someone down the line. Hubby's mom had to wear Depends before she passed; it was necessary for comfort and care, just like in your hubby's case. Glad he is on a medicine though to help too that will also have added benefits of increasing his fluids he takes in! Will continue to pray for you all especially as you deal with your current problem. We are faced with the return of fleas on Koda, which was a tough season last year with them and him. I about cried this morning when I saw there were a few on him (blaming it on the warm weather we had over the weekend). So we are proactively beginning treating him for them.
ReplyDeletebetty
Thanks, Betty. You have become a faithful reader of this blog and always have something interesting and supportive to say. So far so good with hubby. I will report more as well. The Rite Aid products I ordered on line have yet to come, but I do have enough of the Leader brand now. Still assessing the pills.
DeleteZiggy doesn't have fleas, but he has had them and I used Borax for carpet and furniture and flea, tick and mosquito once a month meds for him.
I always wondered if I wrote about such things, did it mean I was disrespectful to my husband, was I taking away his dignity. I decided , No, none of that, He had no problems with me writing and as a result we educated others about what was and how to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteYou, in like manner are providing an education to those behind you on the journey.
It takes a great deal of emotional fortitude to hit the publish button on such matters, but you did good :)
Kathy
Kathy, thanks. I know you have been there. My husband has no idea about this blog, but he does know I am writing a counseling dissertation on caregiving in my "spare" time. Yes, the LORD lets these trials of mine instruct others and He is the One who gives me "emotional fortitude" when I have it. Some days I mess us and have to learn lessons.
DeleteBless your heart Carol! Such a difficult journey but you are finding your strength for every step of the way. It gives me courage to read how the Lord provides for you in all areas.
ReplyDeleteGeorgene,
DeleteYou and God's Word continue to be an encouragement to me. I feel the LORD Himself sends people to this blog to speak truth and encouragement. I am grateful that my journey at times points others to the LORD's provision. Also, when I mess up and bravely write about it, others can learn. May God have the glory in my journey.
Combination of OXYBUTYNIN and LEADER product is working well. Waiting for March 16th Rite Aid product to come in mail.
ReplyDeleteI spoke too soon. At the end of today the Rite Aid product came. It was not the underwear kind but 70 adjustable fitted briefs (adult diapers). Very disappointed. I doubt I can get my husband to wear these, I mean he would have to lay down on the bed and then be fitted with them like a baby!
DeleteFound new local source at Sam's. It's called "Simply Right Underwear for Men" from San's West, Inc., Benton, AZ 72716. It advertises 40% more absorbency. You buy in bulk--72 for $29.42. So that's about 41 cents per underpants! Much better than Rite-Aid. Will let you know how it works.
DeleteHave not heard back from Rite Aid if they will take their adult diapers back. I wrote to them and expect that they should send me a label to return to them or refund my money.
DeleteMum still makes it to the toilet every time. Unfortunately, she doesn't know what she has done - one or two. If it's two, she just stands up and walks away. Sometimes some of it falls on the toilet seat, on the floor or into her pants because she's not quite finished. She wonders what the brown stuff is and sticks her fingers in it. Then she goes to the bed and wipes her fingers on whatever she can find - the quilt, a cushion, a soft toy, a blanket. The result is a horrendous mess. I won't wash any more quilts; they'll be thrown out. She's now using the nursing home quilts which can be washed by them. I feel so sorry for the nurses. This is supposed to be low care; there are no beds available in high care just now; and there's only one nurse to fifteen patients. Several times I have had to shower her before even taking her out and if she wants the toilet at my place, I just panic in case it's a number 2. She will deny doing it and say she doesn't need wiping and you end up with another change of clothes and another shower. - Louise
ReplyDeleteOh Louise! What a mess! And what a patient daughter you are for mum!
DeleteRite Aid never contacted me and so I have those adult diapers to use at night perhaps. Now I may need them. See May 8th post.
ReplyDeleteWe are using these adult diapers from Rite Aid--they are great. Glad I never heard back from them on how to mail them back.
DeleteWe started last week when the Hospice nurse decided hubby would be bedridden. I watch now the Hospice aide puts them on and also there is a video on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMlw5dBk9LE