Two New Year Items

Tutoring at my house

Esteban was one neighbor who helped me with my husband and I have been tutoring him. At the end of my husband's life, my husband thought Esteban his son. My husband in his mind was living in an earlier time period. I kept reminding him that I was his loving wife and he did recognize people he saw regularly such as Kenny, Sally, Jake and myself.

Esteban is fifteen and in eighth grade which tells you that he has not passed some school years.  I just have that access in his middle school because I am known as Mrs. Johnson the substitute as well as MC AC The Rap Lady who raps at the end of good classes.  I decided I would do something about this young man after my husband died--help him in school.

Now this young man had been living with his uncle (not Kenny) near me, but had been kicked out of that house and was back with his single mother and four sisters.  I learned where he lived when I saw him at school--a mobile home about two miles from me. In the fall I started to take him out for supper at Plant City's Snellgroves or at Denny's for our public tutoring sessions. No more coming to my neighboring home, as he is not a neighbor now.

I found out that his older sister had dropped out of high school because of the bullies and encouraged her to get back in school. She and her mother promised me she would return for her second semester in February.

Those bullies won, Sweetheart,  I said.

You get back in school! 

It occurred to me that Esteban just wanted to follow the same path as that sister when he turned 16--be a school dropout.

So, I devised a plan.  Before I flew out of town for what we used to call "Christmas break", I went to all of his academic teachers.Those academic teachers all have my email and even cell phone.

We used to have two cell phones--one for my husband and one for me. I would pay for a cell phone for Esteban if he could pass this first semester with only Cs and Ds in Science, Math, History, Language Arts and Reading. He would have to work very hard over vacation and in January to pass. Then in the semester starting in February if a teacher took his cell away because he used it in class, I would not pay for that cell phone service any more. Strict behavioral modification! Find out what works for a young person. 

Monday, December 15 I substituted at his school and he was told in no uncertain terms that I was to tutor him Tuesday night. Tuesday December 16th we were scheduled for tutoring at night--only Esteban missed the bus and didn't have his work. Wednesday December 17th I called his house and got no answer. I went to his house and found him walking home--he had missed the bus. I drove him to school and got a school visitor pass and went to all his teachers. I told them again of my plan to help him, despite the fact he is a bit lazy--really an understatement. I told them again that they can contact my cell and my email. I got the study sheets for his Math final, and was loaned both a Science and a Math book. The teachers have promised to contact me.

Stay tuned and please pray
for Esteban and 
for my possible move.

Habits



From Facebook

 

 The more you do something, the more it becomes a good or bad habit. I teach about habits when I teach a class for DUI offenders. I often use this anonymous quote.

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed—you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons, I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great men, and alas, or all failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a man. You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin—it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me, and I will destroy you. Who am I?

I am Habit.

So I worked on a new habit today--getting to my substitute job ahead of time. It felt good. But it is not a habit yet. Often times there is a situation at home such as my husband taking his morning pills and I barely make it to school in time or have to call to say I am on my way. They are happy that I call and that I come to cover a class. But how much better to get somewhere on time! I am also realizing when hubby and I go somewhere and have to be there by a certain time, plan to leave in plenty of time. Time means so little to him--I have to be the time keeper.

Today I substituted in a Math in high school. After taking roll in first period I noticed a young lady in the corner of the room and noise was coming from an obvious cell phone. I went over to her, observed that her cell phone was plugged into the wall to charge it and asked her to put it up. She said she couldn't turn it off or she would lose her game. It turns out that she entered my classroom and acted like she was enrolled in that class.  After she was removed the other students said that she must be a new student and one reflected that she only comes there when there is a substitute! Her cell phone is her habit--a bad one. She may skip her first period to go find a substitute, park herself in that class, and charge her cell there. Hopefully her bad habit was busted today.

21 days to change to a new habit I have heard. When someone has Alzheimer's it may be more than 21 days. I put a little love note in my husband's morning pills now to get him motivated to take those pills before I leave the house. I also take my pills at the same time. He does remember that I ended up in the hospital when I took his pills, so I say take you pills so I don't accidentally take yours again. This habit is a constant struggle.

I have also heard to establish routines early in Alzheimer's. I got my husband an electric shaver for Christmas. Now getting him to use it is a real struggle. It would be safer for him to use this instead of shaving with a razor. He doesn't always want to shave every day and it seems to me that he can use his charged shaver while he sits and watches TV. This is not his habit, but my struggle. He may win this one, like he keeps winning not wanting to mow the lawn. My patience is tried again and again.

But then, again, I struggle with some of my own habits, like recording the food that I eat ("tracking") for Weight Watchers and my housekeeping habits.

People in the classes for DUI offenders that I teach get the following quotes about habits on my Power Point presentation:

• “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination are alone supreme.”               --Calvin Coolidge

"We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons."-- Jim Rohn

• "The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail."--Napoleon Hill

• "This one step—choosing a goal and sticking to it—changes everything."--Scott Reed

• "Things start out as hopes and end up as habits."--Lillian Hellman

Lord, give me patience with my husband
and persistence with my own habits.
I can change more than he can.

Short Hospital Stay of Caregiver

I had a short hospital stay Friday morning through Sunday afternoon. It certainly wasn't planned that I be taken to the hospital and leave my caregiving responsibilities.

So what happened to me you ask? Hubby is still able to stay home by himself and I set out Friday to substitute teach. On the way I realized very suddenly that I needed to vomit. I pulled over to a Ford dealership and upchucked, hoping that was the end of it. Not to be. I arrived at the school and vomited in the parking lot. I got up a little strength to walk with my purse into the office and say I was sick and couldn't sub. I headed for the staff women's bathroom. My stay in that bathroom included vomiting and passing out. I found myself on the floor with a headache and realized I might have a concusion. I got myself up and the room was spinning. After a bit I opened the door and said I needed a nurse. The nurse called 911 and I was on my way to the hospital in an ambulance. Needless to say, I didn't care at all whether school kept of not! But I did care about my husband and in my weakened state told people "I am an Alzheimer's caregiver". By Friday afternoon I was out of ER, had a room and Friday night I knew I was on my way to recovery, including eating dinner. Nurse assistant DaDine thoughtfully gets an iPhone charger for my cell while I slept Friday night; this had to be borrowed from staff who worked at night and loaned it to me for several hours.

I had not purchased a bracelet that says I am an Alzheimer's caregiver.  (I have seen these, but hadn't gotten around to ordering one). My husband has one that says he has memory issues and he wears it all the time.

HUGE THANKS to family. Hubby stayed with his daughter. The step-daughter, her husband and daughter graciously took on caregiving responsibilities including hosting both hubby and the dog during my hospital stay of over two days. Our car was retrieved from school.  Naughty dog Ziggy, however, taught the host dog how to chase their cat while he stayed there. 

Hubby's cell phone is misplaced again in the last 12 hours and he notices it early this morning.  He did use it to call me on my cell at the hospital. After the stabilizing me in ER, I went to a room where I was able to use my new iPhone to call him. Somehow he got through the short-term memory problem and was able to visit me in the hospital on Friday thanks to his ex taking him there. Saturday morning he woke me up at 6:15 AM on my recharged cell:  

Where are you?

At the hospital, Sweetheart!

Oh that's right!

Hubby had forgotten that he had seen me in the hospital on Friday. Our routines were disrupted. He called often during Saturday saying he missed me. I realize again how important that caregiver (me) is to the loved one. You are the one, even with other family around.

This morning early his cell phone is missing. He is very discombobulated that his cell phone is missing and wants to go get another one ASAP. This morning he is going over and over his loss and asking how many cell phones he has lost. How many cell phones has Ziggy taken? he asks. Coping is hard for the Alzheimer's loved one who is trying to hold on to reality.  That cell phone is a big issue this morning. I have him wait until 7 AM to call his daughter. Sure enough it was in a box with the dog food just where she said it was last night. I had not seen it the first time I unpacked his things.

So glad I can stay home today to get us both back to "normal" or "the new normal". But I do know that life will never be normal again. Just so thankful to the LORD that we are both home.  

Get those shots. Saturday night in the hospital I had my yearly influenza shot and got my pneumonia shot that all of us over 65 need to get. Perhaps my trip to the hospital could have been avoided had I received those shots. Why knows!  

Cuddos to Lakeland Regional Medical Center where my treatment was so excellent--doctors and nurses. I had a SYNCOPE and a SYNCOPE HYPOTHERMIA along with the vomiting. I was cold in ER! My white blood cells were elevated from vomiting and I was fighting something. Scans  revealed that there was no internal brain injury from the fall and no heart issues. My electrolites were off. I thought I had avoided treatment for GERD by watching what I ate carefully. But now I have a prescription for OMEPRAZOLE  to be taken for 30 days and I will take it. People with GERD should not be vomiting at all. It throws us off completely.   

Boredom sets in Saturday and Sunday. I was better. My charged cell phone helped entertain me on Saturday and dutifully I stayed in my room and interacted with my roommate. The sign on the TV said:

Thank you for remaining my your clinical area during your stay at Lakeland Regional, and allowing your health care providers to monitor your care and recovery. Leaving your clinical area for reasons outside your treatment is considered against medical advice and you may be discharged. Please help us to provide you with the best health care experience possible. Thank you.

I became stir crazy and wanted to get back to my husband and get him home. I walked the halls in "my clinical area". Through my iPhone I posted updates on my Facebook LIKE page for this blog during the day Saturday.  I entertained the troops with the two raps "Get Me Out of Class [the hospital]" and "Boredom Games" I deliver for good classes when I substitute teach.  I promised a few staff that  I would post those raps here and I dedicate them to those wonderful staff at the hospital we put smiles on each other's faces.

"Get Me Out of Class"

[the hospital]

Get me out of class
Gotta get a pass
I’m a student you can trust
Getting me out of class I must.
Let me get some water
I’m not your son or daughter
But I will be your teacher’s pet
I’ll always help you out
—you can bet
It’s right outside the class
Don’t have to write a pass
So let me get some water
(I will roam the school halls
Or maybe the nearby malls.)
But, oh no!
You don’t give water passes?

Hmm . . .
I have to pee can’t you see
But so much liquid I just bloat
And I have a doctor’s note
So much pee I may float.
I have to be a finder
I left my school binder
I left my purse
I have to see the nurse
Can I go to my locker?
(Really I want to play soccer
I want to go find that jerk)
Please --it’s just a little perk!

Get me out of class
Gotta get a pass!

"Boredom Games"

Paper toys

Boredom ploys

Sunflower seeds

Don’t want to read

Don’t want to heed

Or do a good deed

But a boredom game

May get me fame

Or bring me shame

Those boredom games.

Let me make a popper

Lots of ploys in the hopper

Shooting rubber bands

Making beats with hands

Let’s play football

Make it out of paper

Or fly a plane

Just a little caper

Chewing gum

Think I’ll hum

Or twiddle my thumb

Have a little gas

I can fart for a laugh

I’m not the only one

Who has to have a little fun

And my work is done

A boredom game

Won’t get me fame

Might bring me shame

Those boredom games.

God is good. Now where did I put MY glasses! Might be at Denny's where we had supper last night!

Cell Phones Cell Phones

My husband has trouble holding on to things like names of people, cell phones and yesterday his watch. This is not good for maintaining his equalibrium. The cell phone had been lost for five days and yesterday morning his watch came up missing. Calling that cell didn't work. We suspected the dog. Last night we set out after my day of substitute teaching to get either a working watch or a new cell. I think that he can use the cell to tell the time and date which is the function of his cheap Walmart watch. But I don't know that I can convince my husband he needs only the cell. He was given an expensive watch by my California brother several years ago and we take that watch in to get a battery and it turns out it also needs a new part to be able to set that watch. The repair will cost almost as much as a new Walmart watch will cost. I decide to wait and we go to Sprint to see about a cell. (We have lost cells before.) We get a new upgrade phone for him that has a camera in it that maybe he can use with his trip to see his son. I wonder if he can be trained to see the time and date on that cell instead of a watch, thinking that his watch may show up also.

Sure enough, his cheap Walmart watch with the day and date on it (Tues. May 1) that we love was on the bed,  hidden in the covers all day when neither one of us took time to make the bed. It had come off when he slept last night and I will try to get it superglued back together or maybe use velcro to fix it as you can't get a new watch band for it.

Meanwhile I am using the opportunity to program his cell phone to put memory clues in it like my name with "wife" and "neighbor" with name.


The school district says those phones may not be seen in class. When I substitute teach, I deliver one of my "old lady raps"/poems at the end of class when the students are on task and quiet.  Earlier this year I was substituting at a high school and took a cell away first period. Second period I took a cell away. Third period an actual request, "Can we talk on our iPhones when our work is done?" Everyone in that third period had a smart phone and one girl had a monster drink. Inspiration for a picture and a rap! I took a picture of everyone's phone and the monster drink and then the cell phones were hidden and the first draft of that rap was given at the end of the class.

Cell phones cell phones

You all have cell phones

Keep them hidden

They are forbidden.

Steve Jobs has cast his spell

But district policy says no cell

Steve Jobs’ iPhone can help you cheat

Text that question quite a feat.
“Are we allowed to talk on our

iPhones when we are done?”

I reply “No you can’t my son.”

But what will we do for fun?
You can have a Monster drink
That caffeine will help you think.

But district policy says no cell.

Even though Steve Jobs has cast his spell.

The district says no hood or caps

But you can hear a sub who raps.
Cell phones cell phones

You all have cell phones

Keep them hidden

They are forbidden.

One time a school principal actually did the background beat to my rap. Now the drama of my husband's cell phone and watch is greater in my life than the classroom battle. Alzheimer's is drama and keeping my husband in stage one normal is all my current drama.