"A Christmas Memory"

One day recently while substitute teaching I read a thoughtful piece by Truman Capote. I almost cried, but I was with students and didn't think it was wise.  “A Christmas Memory” is about his friend who calls him Buddy, an elderly cousin and what they did to get ready for Christmas. They made and gave away fruit cake and went to the woods to cut down a tree and decorated it with homemade ornaments. They made each other kites for Christmas. 

The reflection ends:

This is our last Christmas together. Life separates us. Those who Know Best decide that I belong in a military school. And so follows a miserable succession of bugle-blowing prisons, grim reveille-ridden summer camps. I have a new home too. But it doesn’t count. 

Home is where my friend is, and there I never go. And there she remains, puttering around the kitchen. Alone with Queenie.  Then alone.  (“Buddy dear,” she writes in her wild hard-to-read script, “yesterday Jim Macy’s horse kicked Queenie bad. Be thankful she didn’t feel much. I wrapped her in a Fine Linen sheet and rode her in the buggy down to Simpson’s pasture where she can be with all her Bones. . . . “). 

For a few Novembers she continues to bake her fruitcakes single-handed; not as many, but some: and, of course, she always sends me “the best of the batch.” Also, in every letter she encloses a dime wadded in toilet paper: “See a picture show and write me the story.” But gradually in her letters she tends to confuse me with her other friend, the Buddy who died in the 1880’s; more and more, thirteens are not the only days she stays in bed: a morning arrives in November, a leafless birdless coming of winter morning, when she cannot rouse herself to exclaim: “Oh my, it’s fruitcake weather!” And when that happens, I know it. 

A message saying so merely confirms a piece of news some secret vein had already received, severing from me an irreplaceable part of myself, letting it loose like a kite on a broken string. That is why, walking across a school campus on this particular December morning, I keep searching the sky. As if I expected to see, rather like hearts, a lost pair of kites hurrying toward heaven.

Thinking about Christmas 2013 

with my late husband. 

The kites are flying. 

So glad for my faith

in Jesus Christ and that 

my husband is with Him. 

Eighth Graders Learn About Alzheimer's From a Classmate

Picture of me and my husband on lanyard

It was the 23rd of September several days ago. Three months ago my husband had died (June 23). I choose to wear black that day and had a small picture of us on my lanyard with my Kelly substitute badge. I told the students the day marked three months since my husband had died. One student made me this thoughtful tribute that said, "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but happiness leaves memories no one can steal!"

It also was an unexpected day in sixth period with one more period to go. I was with another teacher in a fused class. (I worked with her in her class 2nd and 6th periods.) An announcement came on the intercom:

"Modified Lockdown" we heard.

As a substitute I did not know the procedure. The regular teacher covered the door window and put a sign on the bottom that said "safe". She started a discussion that included car accidents and life and death and reputations. She made the eighth graders think about eulogies and what they might want others to think about them when they die. Another announcement came on the intercom.

"Full Lockdown." We would not go on to seventh 
period but stay in 6th period for safety. 

We would have a lot of time with the students. I told the story of my crash with my late husband and how grateful I was that I had more time with him and he wasn't killed; I mentioned briefly his Alzheimer's. The students sat quietly and I looked out the window from the second story. I saw a security officer in the parking lot with the buses lined up ready to take the students home. Overhead a helicopter was circling the school. We let students who had cell phones text their parents to say they were okay and would be home late. 

Rita (not her real name) raised her hand high and wanted to tell the story of her grandmother who took care of her when she was a preschooler.  Rita was the youngest in her family and her mother worked. That grandmother was fun and loved people--her siblings and cousins and all family members.  

One day when Rita was four she was driving in the car with her grandmother and they had a crash. Her grandmother ended up in the hospital and after that crash went down hill steadily, as the granddaughter tells it. When Rita then went to elementary school, the grandmother would call any young girl "Rita", but did not recognize the real Rita, her own granddaughter who was so attached to her. Eventually the grandmother went to live in a facility, not able to walk and take care of herself.  The grandmother died when Rita was eleven and sometimes she and her mother visit the grave. She was not ashamed to cry in the classroom and the students listened attentively to her story.

That day the reality of Alzheimer's

came to 13 and 14 year olds 
from their classmate Rita. 

There had been a rumor that someone had brought a gun to the school. After the school had been searched, several security officers unlocked our door and we were able to leave about 5 PM.  Security lined the halls as the students walked out of the building to the buses. Even when I walked to my car there were security along the way—I suppose in case someone would open up and fire a weapon -- then that security could restrain him/her. Two TV channels had their vans outside the school and this incident was on the local news. 

Security lined my path to my car at the end of that  day. 

As for me, I reflected on Rita's poignant story of her grandmother, and was grateful no incident had happened at the school. After a quick supper I went on to my evening grief support group. 

"Loving Her Husband" by Linda Bukowy

My creative friend, Linda Bukowy, writes poems for people. Her book, Treasures, published by Genie Publishing, has poetry she has written over the years. Here is the poem she wrote for me on the occasion of my husband's recent death.

If one could describe a caring heart

It would be named our loving Carol,

In all you did it showed forth love

Love that was poured into you from God above,

In all your times of loving care,

In sickness and health you were always there,

A loving caregiver is such a gift,

Being there for each other gives you both a lift,

Giving someone the gift of your time,

It says no matter what you are all mine,

To offer comfort in their greatest need,

Needing a touch from you, you follow their lead,

then it comes time to let them go,

You are able to, because you love them so,

No more sorrow, no more pain,

Only love, joy, peace, eternity to gain,

And when they go home to the greatest Caregiver of all,

God knows them by name, they have answered His call. 

Thank you, Linda, for penning a poem for me and sharing in my grief. 

____________________________

Not to miss a beat in finding new markets, Hallmark has an apropos card as pictured above. It says:

New Cards for After Alzheimer's

Even through the twilight

that fell upon your loved one's mind,

the light of your love and care 

continued to shine,

bringing more comfort

than you may know.

And inside it reads:

You gave so much of yourself

in the face of great loss.

What a beautiful testament to your love

and to the importance and dignity

of a life we will never forget. 

Yes, Sweetheart, I will always love you and look forward to our reunion in Heaven. It was a privilege to be one of the select few who were able to comfort you at the end of your life and to remind you and us all of the hope of the Gospel.

Thanks to everyone for your cards, condolences, and hugs.

Senior Health: My Second Thyroid Test

For weeks now I have been waiting. I wrote about my thyroid HERE.  I decided to write daily this week on this post while I waited.

Monday morning I swallowed a radioactive pill at Brandon's Total Imaging. Some people have radioactive iodine injected into a vein, but I only took a pill. The technician explained that there are cold and hot nodules. The cold nodules can contain cancer cells. I would have to return the next day for the actual test. For twenty-four hours I had to limit salt, processed foods and even green vegetables before my test. I ate eggs, carrots, strawberries, a banana, a baked potato and beef without any seasoning. That day our long awaited tax refund came and hubby wanted to go out to dinner, but I said I wouldn't be able to because of my 24 hour diet.

The next morning, Tuesday, I went under the gamma camera at Brandon's Total Imaging. This camera measures the function of the thyroid and can for every other organ of the body exceptt the pancreas. The results would be faxed to my doctor later in the day. She would call me and give me the results.

I then went shopping and bought a lovely white linen skirt and lime green jeans--basics for my wardrobe badly needing updating and both on sale. Lime green is a basic for me; why one time my Alabama niece used to call me the lime green aunt. Now she calls me MC AC The Rap Lady.  

Finally hubby and I took Kenny, our volunteer caregiver to dinner. We told him how much we appreciate his friendship and he said that we enrich his life. Then I finished that quilt Tuesday evening and posted a picture of it on the Facebook LIKE page Wednesday.

Wednesday I put a call into my doctor expecting to have the results of the test, to know if I need my TSH tested before I resume taking thyroid pills. I realized that I am fidgety. The Mayo Clinic says HERE:

Thyroid nodules are solid or fluid-filled lumps that form within your thyroid, a small gland located at the base of your neck, just above your breastbone. The great majority of thyroid nodules aren't serious and don't cause symptoms. Thyroid cancer accounts for a small percentage of thyroid nodules.

By Wednesday night no one had called from the doctor's office and I was on pins and needles waiting to hear about cold nodules and whether or not I would have to have a needle biopsy to determine if it was cancer. It has been five weeks that I have been off of thyroid medicine waiting for test results. I feel tired and weigh myself often and watch what I eat because those pounds I lost last year might come back. The highlight of the day was a call from my Alabama brother in the evening. Another highlight was that my husband prayed an eloquent prayer when we went to bed. He will not remember all that I am feeling, but our LORD does. I need to exercise faith.

Thursday I determined to be useful. Well be assertive. We are going to breakfast, I announced to hubby. He wanted to know if he had to shave. It had been two days since he had shaved and I said no because I really had other motives.

Shortly after they opened I was at the doctor's office with hubby waiting in our air conditioned gas guzzler. I was told that Total Imaging had not faxed the test results yet and Yes, Mrs. Johnson, we do have your call about this issue on the computer and we will let you know when the text results come to our office. I called Total Imaging and they said it had been faxed, but they would send my doctor another fax with the results.

We went to Snellgrove Restaurant across the street from the painted brick building at the top of this blog. Men outside were talking about this car.

This restaurant is the local hangout where I interviewed my husband for this blog HERE.  I usually recognized people at Snellgove and even my husband recognized D.J. from Toastmasters. Now D. J. has survived cancer and I wondered if we would get a chance to talk with him there but we never caught his eye in the crowded place. I ordered the special for hubby--a huge waffle with sugar free syrup, scrambled eggs and bacon. I ordered a veggie omelet and hash browns for myself.

Into the breakfast I got a call on my cell phone. Mrs. Johnson, you will need a thyroid biopsy and you may resume taking your thyroid meds. We will schedule your biopsy. . Total Imaging must have sent them the fax. We took our pills and I had my first thyroid pill since May 14th.

Hubby's many pills  in the background and
my calcium, baby aspirin and LEVOTHROXINE

Then I got another call on my cell phone. Mrs. Johnson, your biopsy is scheduled for July 31st at 9 am in Brandon. So I have another five weeks to wait to know if I have cancer in a "cold" thyroid nodule.

You know what! Now I do not have fear of gaining back weight. I can lose the next five pounds more easily. And, good gracious gravy, I am going to get a tattoo! I have such light eyebrows that I always have to add eyebrow pencil to them. If I have to be in the hospital again, God forbid, at least my eyebrows ought to look like I am awake.

Beyond good eyebrows, however, the world needs cures for cancer and Alzheimer's. I consider it a privliege to trust our LORD for the outcome and am grateful I can have those thyroid pills again which a person needs if they need them.

_________________________________________________________
Added June 27, 2013 when the written report came in my mail.
Technique: the patient received 278 microcuries I-123 by oral capsule.
Findings: There is a relative photopenia in the mid pole of the right thyroid lobe indicating the dominant nodule seen here on ultrasound is cold. Normal uptake seen in the left love. 24 hour uptake is low normal measuring 8%.
IMPRESSION: Dominant mass in the right thyroid lobe is cold on nuclear sutyd. Biopsy of this nodule recommended.

What My Husband's Dementia Means, Part Two

With his recent trips to the hospital for UTI and another for a fall, I get asked if my husband has gone into a further stage of Alzheimer’s. This post is an attempt to answer that question. He did not receive an anesthesia in the hospital—a sure road to a future stage.  I do not think he is in a further stage.  I have seen three different lists of stages.

• Alzheimer’s Reading Room HERE.

• Alzheimer’s Association HERE.  He is in stage four of seven stages.

• Mayo Clinic HERE.  He is in stage three of five stages.

On July 8, 2012 I posted Part One HERE. As in Part One, the red below is from the Family Doctor Organization, but the link in Part One seems to be broken. Nonetheless I want to credit these red descriptions.

• Recent memory loss. All of us forget things for a while and then remember them later. People who have dementia often forget things, but they never remember them. They might ask you the same question over and over, each time forgetting that you've already given them the answer. They won't even remember that they already asked the question.  My husband is very conscious of his short-term memory and we use techniques to compensate.  I have been working out in the yard and he has wondered where I am, upsetting to both of us because of course I had told him I had gone out. Now I have a sign that says Carol is outside.

• Difficulty performing familiar tasks. People who have dementia might cook a meal but forget to serve it. They might even forget that they cooked it. When I have left the house to substitute teach early in the morning, hubby would often forget to take his morning pills. I have been dealing with this aspect for quite some time now. For example, he kept the sprinkler on overnight some time ago. Fortunately Kenny comes in and the two gentlemen take their own pills together, with Kenny pointing out that he takes more pills than my husband does.  No more forgetting lunch. Kenny comes over and fixes it for hubby and sees that he eats.

• Problems with language. People who have dementia may forget simple words or use the wrong words. This makes it hard to understand what they want. He does forget nouns, but really no worse than in July of last year.  I have read about “word salad” and have been watching for that, but it hasn’t happened.

• Time and place disorientation. People who have dementia may get lost on their own street. They may forget how they got to a certain place and how to get back home. No further deterioration. Very alert any time I am driving us somewhere.

• Poor judgment. Even a person who doesn't have dementia might get distracted. But people who have dementia can forget simple things, like forgetting to put on a coat before going out in cold weather. Hubby's judgment is still fairly good. I am not sure if this is because I give him coconut oil, turmeric, and Ribonucleic Acid, but he has good judgment and often if something is arbitrary, or not to my liking, I bend to his suggestion. I do not need to get my way, unless something has to do with logic and safety. For example, I can talk him into a shower and shave with reason. You need showers so you do not end up back in the hospital with another Urinary Tract Infection, or You have to shave with your razor every other day or I have to use the trimmer on you.

• Problems with abstract thinking. Anybody might have trouble balancing a checkbook, but people who have dementia may forget what the numbers are and what has to be done with them. Has little to do with finances now, or will ask how we are doing financially. I tell him the IRS owes us our tax refund which should come by the end of the June according to our accountant,  so we can make it through the summer when I work less.  Hubby likes to take notes now on what is happening for the day. DH wants me to say only one idea at a time—to not switch subjects. I still have to work on telling hubby one idea at a time. Hubby is training me by how he reacts when I say too much.

• Misplacing things. People who have dementia may put things in the wrong places. They might put an iron in the freezer or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl. Then they can't find these things later. Sally has trouble with Jake misplacing things. Jake put his electric shaver in their RV for example. I thought "Alzheimer's" and suggested she look there and sure enough Jake was planning a camping trip in his mind and put his shaver there. "Thinking Alzheimer's", as Bob DeMarco on the Alzheimer's Reading Room suggests, helps you to help your loved one. So far he is not losing cell phones as he once did.

• Changes in mood. Everyone is moody at times, but people who have dementia may have fast mood swings, going from calm to tears to anger in a few minutes. DH can swear at other drivers when I am driving, as if that will help. As I noted in the last post, swearing is common in Alzheimer's patients.

• Personality changes. People who have dementia may have drastic changes in personality. They might become irritable, suspicious or fearful. Have yet to see much personality change. Love his sense of humor. Hubby is happy. Kenny often texts me while I am working that hubby is in a good mood. Linda Born calls it "pleasant dementia" HERE. I am accepting that loss of initiative and grateful for every little thing hubby willingly does. For example, to get our gas guzzler in the garage is a challenge now with bags of mulch to be spread in the yard. I have him direct me so I do not get too close to the bags of mulch. I thank him for his help.

• Loss of initiative. People who have dementia may become passive. They might not want to go places or see other people. Monday night hubby wanted to go to Toastmasters with me. On the way home from Toastmasters he said he doesn't want to attend this two hour meeting again, but worries about me being out in the evening. I said to him that we will work this out and that the LORD is our protector. He agreed. So glad for my husband's faith, and mine. Knowing that he has loss of initiative makes me not nag him to do something he used to do enthusiastically. Sometimes I just say to him that he and Jake are lucky they married younger women and pass inactivity off as part of the aging process.

I am  so glad that I blog. The July 8, 2012 entry helps me see that my husband is really not going downhill quickly. Caregiver Kenny thinks that he will remain like this for several years.

Troubling Quote

Saw in a classroom

Not my problem,

not my business,

nothing to do with me.  

Have you heard this one? So many live by this philosophy. Then cancer strikes. Then Alzheimer's strikes. Then a loved one dies. Or is missing.

Sure it's true we cannot take on the problems of this world. We are limited  with time and resources.

The LORD is not limited in resources. Sometimes we are the resources that help. At the very least we can have a prayer list and remember others in prayer. Philippins 2:4 reads, Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

LORD, help me to care as you care for this world and its problems.  Give me heart. Put wings to my care also. Amen.

The Problem of Evil in the World

Christian Research Institute has a caller ask about his Christian grandmother who has Alzheimer's. Is this Christian grandmother responsible for her misbehavior and anger? Hank Hanegraaff points out that she is covered by the righteousness of Christ. One day her soul will be reunited with her restored body at the resurrection in heaven. My husband swears horribly when he is irritated, but that is the disease of Alzheimer's--an opportunity for me to practice patience. Hubby didn't swear like this when I married him in 2000. He forgets later about his swearing and I know he is covered by Christ's righteousness even as that grandmother is.

What is the origin of evil? Hank Hanegraaff says that God creates the potential for evil. Of course secular people, some call them humanists, believe in the goodness of man. How can anyone believe in the goodness of man when you have a James Holmes open fire at a Batman movie? The problem of sin will be gone in heaven. This is the great hope that I as a caregiver/lovegiver have.

Was God in Control of 9/11? Hank says we live in a fallen world where both the righteous and unrighteous suffer. We Christians can have peace in the midst of the storm and rely on the justice and sovereignty of God.

Back to the question of what has happened in this horrible massacre in Aurora. One blogger pastor writes a moving account of a young woman who was hit by bullets in that movie theater. By God's sovereignty she came through difficult brain surgery. That pastor says that the mother and he "know a miracle when we see it". Read about this story Petra's Miracle in Aurora. I cried when I read this. Pray for Petra and her mother Kim.

Added Comment in August. Jay and Ruth Younts have an amazing testimony about trusting God concerning Ruth's brain cancer.  Listen at Shepherd Press.

I do not know what miracles or suffering await us in this life and in this God-permitted Alzheimer's journey, but I know the ONE who has the answers. He is working out His plan in our lives and I see His miracles and answers to prayer every day. Death, as horrible as it is, will never be the worst that can happen to a Christian.

What My Husband's Dementia Means, Part One

My hubby has mixed dementia, meaning the neurologist diagnosed him with about 50 % Vascular Dementia and 50% Alzheimer's. The Family Doctor Organization helps explain what the broad category of dementia is.

• Recent memory loss. All of us forget things for a while and then remember them later. People who have dementia often forget things, but they never remember them. They might ask you the same question over and over, each time forgetting that you've already given them the answer. They won't even remember that they already asked the question. Perhaps this is the most annoying aspect until you get used to it. DH's grandson talked to him on the phone before church today and I heard my husband ask repeatedly "What have you been up to?" Special events in the past month and even year he does remember, but day-to-day conversation with him can be taxing if you aren't used to it.

• Difficulty performing familiar tasks. People who have dementia might cook a meal but forget to serve it. They might even forget that they cooked it. Hubby has always had me cook or plan the meals. He can warm up things in the microwave that I have clearly labeled for him. He can leave the lawn mower outside and forget to put it away. Or, it could be his lack of initiative for finishing a task. Jake, on the other hand, loves to feel useful and will even pack up their RV to go camping even when they aren't going camping! AS THEY SAY, WHEN YOU HAVE SEEN ONE CASE OF ALZHEIMER'S YOU HAVE SEEN ONE CASE OF ALZHEIMER'S--EVERY PATIENT IS DIFFERENT.

• Problems with language. People who have dementia may forget simple words or use the wrong words. This makes it hard to understand what they want. They say that with dementia the nouns are the first to go. I have seen this once recently, and LOL I can't remember what it was that he was trying to describe to me. He did describe a function of an object without that word.

• Time and place disorientation. People who have dementia may get lost on their own street. They may forget how they got to a certain place and how to get back home. Today my husband wanted to clarify where he lives and I told him Plant City, Florida. This surprised me, but it shouldn't.

• Poor judgment. Even a person who doesn't have dementia might get distracted. But people who have dementia can forget simple things, like forgetting to put on a coat before going out in cold weather. DH still has good judgment, but I notice that our friend Jake needs to be watched. Sally caught him spray painting something that didn't need it. Jake has lots of initiative to do things, in fact he helped my husband mow on Saturday.

• Problems with abstract thinking. Anybody might have trouble balancing a checkbook, but people who have dementia may forget what the numbers are and what has to be done with them. I do the finances now. He turned them over to me when I retired from full-time work several years ago. I really appreciate the systems he set up--on-line banking and an Excel spreadsheet to help maintain the budget. Hubby loves movies, but the older ones without subtleties are best for him.

• Misplacing things. People who have dementia may put things in the wrong places. They might put an iron in the freezer or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl. Then they can't find these things later. So true and I have blogged here about loss of keys and cell phones.

• Changes in mood. Everyone is moody at times, but people who have dementia may have fast mood swings, going from calm to tears to anger in a few minutes.  Life can be confusing for him and the result can be swearing and anger. Later he will forget the incident.

• Personality changes. People who have dementia may have drastic changes in personality. They might become irritable, suspicious or fearful. Knowing this I try to keep his life as calm as possible.

• Loss of initiative. People who have dementia may become passive. They might not want to go places or see other people. My husband is an extravert and so he does enjoy people still. He also wants to go places. However, he does show loss of initiative; often he wants to do the masculine jobs still, like mow the lawn, take out the garbage and carry heavy things, but I walk a fine line between encouraging him to mow the lawn and nagging. This will be worse this summer because of all the rain here.

The link above also deals with hallucinations, agitation and wandering, problems that are not huge so far.

One strange thing I have noticed is that when I am driving hubby will say things like:

• "That's [whatever] been on the road a long time." Don't think so, but they say never argue with someone with Alzheimer's.
• "They have been fixing this road for years." Not so.
• "That car needs to get out of the way." His agitation can be peppered with swearing, but I roll with the punches and at times change the subject. Sometimes he says he is glad that he doesn't drive anymore and of course I am also.

Sally has a backseat driver on her hands when she drives; Jake is constantly telling her how to drive.

Both of our husbands are very protective of us. When Sally was going to go get groceries on Saturday, Jake suggested I go with her while he helped my hubby in our yard. Jake felt better if someone was with Sally. While my hubby likes to go on errands with me, he can tolerate my going out to teach or to Weight Watchers, activities that he can't really attend.

Both Sally and I are in our marriages "for better--for worse" and count our days as lovegivers precious in this stage, knowing that the worse will come.

Charleston Heston, 1923-2008

Charlton's Last Interview With Wife Lydia 

ABC interviewed the couple (see U-Tube above). V ery special short interview. Charlton said in this interview,  “What can’t be cured must be endured.” Lydia Heston told how she was appalled upon hearing the news. Nancy Reagan called her and offered to talk anytime Lydia needed to talk. The interviewed said so appropriately to Heston, “The problem is not for you, but for those around you.”

At the time Charlton Heston was President of the National Rifle Association for the third term, on August 9, 2002 Heston announced he had the symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease. A year later Heston stepped down from his NRA Presidency. See here.

Now Heston was famous for these quotes:

• "This doesn’t happen when they use guns." 
• "I’ll give you my gun when you take it from my cold, dead hand."

Charles Heston did live six more years to the age of 84, having been married to wife Lydia for 64 years. He did in fact have Alzheimer’s.

An article came out the day of his announcement in Slate (The New York Times Weekender on line) that asked “Will Charlton Heston Have to Give Up His Guns?” See here. It seems that several states, including California and Oregon, have this requirement for Alzheimer’s patients.



I am not sure how the Heston family handled the gun issue, but the following solutions can work to prevent the AD loved one use guns when deluded or angry.

1. Lock up the guns.

2. Put the ammunition elsewhere.

3. Disable the gun.

Charles Heston acted in the first two epic movies I ever saw, “The Ten Commandments” and “Ben Hur”. He was always handsome with his stature, chiseled face and distinctive voice and always well-regarded. They don’t make ‘em like him anymore and certainly several other California actors have disgraced themselves in recent years.

Arnold and Mel,

        Who will be there for you like Lydia was for Charles and Nancy was for Ronnie if you get dementia? Just wondering.

                                                       Carol

100 Years After Ronald Reagan's Birth

Ronald Reagan was born 100 years ago today on February 6, 1911. He was my governor when I lived in California and he was our our 40th President for two terms in the 1980s. He was a fiscal conservative and America prospered economically under his leadership.Generations will remember his famous Tear Down That Wall speech.  His speaking skills perhaps were enhanced by his years as an actor. Reagan is remembered for the years he didn't have Alzheimer's.

However, after he left office, in November 5, 1994  he announced:

My fellow Americans, I have recently been told that I am one of the millions of Americans who will be afflicted with Alzheimer's disease.


Upon learning this news, Nancy and I had to decide whether as private citizens we would keep this a private matter or whether we would make this news known in a public way. In the past, Nancy suffered from breast cancer and I had my cancer surgeries. We found through our open disclosures we were able to raise public awareness. We were happy that as a result, many more people underwent testing. They were treated in early stages and able to return to normal, healthy lives.


So now we feel it is important to share it with you. In opening our hearts, we hope this might promote greater awareness of this condition. Perhaps it will encourage a clearer understanding of the individuals and families who are affected by it.


At the moment I feel just fine. I intend to live the remainder of the years God gives me on this Earth doing the things I have always done. I will continue to share life's journey with my beloved Nancy and my family. I plan to enjoy the great outdoors and stay in touch with my friends and supporters.


Unfortunately, as Alzheimer's disease progresses, the family often bears a heavy burden. I only wish there was some way I could spare Nancy from this painful experience. When the time comes, I am confident that with your help she will face it with faith and courage.


In closing, let me thank you, the American people, for giving me the great honor of allowing me to serve as your president. When the Lord calls me home, whenever that day may be, I will leave with the greatest love for this country of ours and eternal optimism for its future.


I now begin the journey that will lead me into the sunset of my life. I know that for America there will always be a bright dawn ahead.


Thank you, my friends. May God always bless you.

Reagan lived almost ten years after that announcement, dying June 5, 2004 at age 93.  I was a widow when Reagan died and my sentiments were for Nancy Reagan. I didn't know the future, that my second husband would also be diagnoised with Alzheimer's. But the Reagans made us Americans more aware of this disease according to the Washington Post. I  know that DH will not come out and make such an announcement and I have tried to do that in a dignified fashion for him. I am glad that he is content.

Many celebrities have gotten Alzheimer's according to this 2006 List. The list includes painter Norman Rockwell (1894-1978); singer Perry Como (192-2001); and actress Rita Hayworth (1918-1987). In 2003 it was announced that actor Charton Heston has a dementia-like illness.Celebrity doesn't keep one from this dreaded disease.

Insulin May Protect Against Alzheimer's

This article came to my attention this morning.

Insulin May Protect Against Alzheimer's from Health Day News 2/3/2009

Insulin may slow or prevent the memory loss caused by Alzheimer's disease, a new study says. Laboratory research led by a team from Northwestern University found that insulin acts as a shield that deflects the toxic proteins that attack the wiring in the brain responsible for forming memories.

"Therapeutics designed to increase insulin sensitivity in the brain could provide new avenues for treating Alzheimer's disease," William L. Klein, a researcher in Northwestern's Cognitive Neurology and Alzheimer's Disease Center and senior author of the study, said in a news release issued by the school. "Sensitivity to insulin can decline with aging, which presents a novel risk factor for Alzheimer's disease. Our results demonstrate that bolstering insulin signaling can protect neurons from harm."

The findings also add to recent evidence that has some researchers considering Alzheimer's a form of diabetes. The report was published online Feb. 2 in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. In the study, insulin and rosiglitazone (Avandia)-- an insulin-sensitizing drug used to treat type 2 diabetes -- offered protection to neurons taken from the hippocampus, one of the brain's crucial memory centers. It protected the neurons from amyloid beta-derived diffusible ligands, or ADDLs, which are proteins that are known to attach to and block memory-forming synapses, leading to memory loss.
ADDLs have been found to have a role in Alzheimer's.

"The discovery that anti-diabetic drugs shield synapses against ADDLs offers new hope for fighting memory loss in Alzheimer's disease," lead author Fernanda G. De Felice, a former visiting scientist in Klein's lab and an associate professor at the Federal University of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, said in the same news release. The researchers had recently found, in related work, that ADDL caused insulin resistance in the neurons it binds to by stripping the insulin receptors.

Who knew! My husband has type two diabetes since his heart attack and by=pass surgery and takes Actoplus Met tab 15/850 MG twice a day for his diabetes. That medicine controls his glucose fairly well and may do more!

Caregivers

http://www.alz.org/

I found helpful insights from The Alzheimer's Association. Many insights apply to me now, many will later and many for care givers who read this blog. I am thinking of a wife and two daughters who read this blog and are dealing with Alzheimer's for their loved ones.

Symptoms of Caregiver Stress include denial, anger, social withdrawal, anxiety, depression, exhaustion, sleeplessness, irritability, lack of concentration and health problems.

• Anger. I have come to not get angry about being asked something again and again. Originally I was angry about my husband not picking up on tasks around the home. Yesterday my sweet husband on his day off cleaned the living room carpet. I didn't ask him to do this, but he knows to contribute and often tells me how he appreciates all I do for him and our dog Ziggy.
• Social Withdrawal. I need people and so this is not a symptom of my stress yet. However, I have noticed that my husband didn't want to go to the neighborhood Christmas party and doesn't want to take road trips out of town now. This can become a problem for me. Thank God for this blog. I do need you all to make comments and post.
• Health Problems. Once again I need exercise and a slow diet to lose weight so I don't get major health problems myself.

Ways to Reduce Caregiver Stress from Alzheimer's Association

• Know what resources are available in your community.
• Become educated about Alzheimer's disease and caregiving techniques.
• Get help from family, friends, and community resources.
• Manage your own level of stress. I say simplify, organize.
• Accept changes as they occur. Last night my husband and I saw "On Golden Pond". We discussed how actors Fonda and Hepburn were handling old age. How poignant it was when Fonda says he went a certain distance from their rustic home and then didn't know how to get into town. Hepburn sweetly accepted this. My husband has trouble with directions now. We have also seen and discussed the movie "The Notebook". Now, granted, sometimes my husband doesn't remember the movies, but I believe honestly discussing movies help us as a couple to deal with his dementia. It helps me accept.
• Engage in legal and financial planning.
• Be realistic about what you can do.
• Give yourself credit for what you have accomplished; don't feel guilty if you lose patience or can't do everything on your own.

Finally Alzheimer's Association writes to us caregivers: "You can live a meaningful and productive life by taking care of your physical and emotional health, by engaging in activities you enjoy and by spending time with family and friends."
Just a footnote from me: Dogs and husbands with memory issues live in the moment. They enjoy each moment and don't worry about the future or the past. Great lesson for us all. Thank you Lord for my daily blessings--for now--for this very moment!