Cataract Eye Surgery and a Dementia Test for Me

Two Wednesdays. No three Wednesdays because the first Wednesday I forgot and had a taste of a banana in the morning before I realized I wasn't supposed to eat and maybe only take a pill with a sip of water. I flunked.

Two days of preparation with eye drops. A cell phone with an alarm comes in SO handy.

My patient brother was to drive me again on the second Wednesday. His wife picked me up while he was at bridge. I was pushed to her car in front of the building I got in and she handed me glasses to wear. I was wearing a shield over my right eye. When I got home I rested and looked at the instructions for eye drops. Didn't think I needed the patch for Wednesday night choir practice. I love the music and although I didn't enter in fully with the singing, I was getting ready for Sundays.

I wouldn't be able to drive there, so as usual for Wednesday night I got picked up and brought home. On the way home, I looked with  just that left eye that had the surgery and there were rays proceeding out of the lights. However, when I looked with my right eye, there were no rays proceeding out of the same lights.

Midday I saw my eye doctor. I told him about the no rays in the right eye. He also was pleased with the machine tests that his assistant did.

There are a couple of typos in my book that perhaps might not have happened if I wasn't going through eye surgery, but life doesn't have to be perfect!

Stress! It felt like I was called to the boss's office!  My family confronted me in December about my poor night driving! It was a meeting at my brother's house with basically three adults, and not with my niece and her friend who had filed the family complaint. I admitted that night driving was hard and it seemed to me that Huntsville had poor street lights. I agreed to stop driving at night and others were to drive me. I would look into cataract surgery. Paula drove me Monday night. Gladys or her husband Charlie drove me to choir practice Wednesday night.

Stress! Car trouble and finances to buy a new car!

Stress! Mice in my apartment that I wrote about in January.

Stress! Dog Ziggy has a tumor in his spleen and I can have it removed, or his health will go downhill!

Stress! One Friday morning I just canceled substitute teaching. I hadn't been sleeping and was sure I had cancer to something. I went to my doctor's office without an appointment. They scheduled an appointment for me later and included the test to see if I have Alzheimer’s! Well I don't have it, but because of the stress, I tested positive. This hurt so much to hear the nurse say "MCI or dementia." She didn't know I was coming out with a book about that subject! If this were true, my family would have a lot on their plate with me!

As it says in that book, however, depression can cause false results with that test and really an individual needs a proper diagnosis with a neurologist and a MRI test which my late husband had.

Back to the cataract eye surgery. I love that I had it done and I can see at night. I can see bright, beautiful colors, and, LOL, I can see dust in my apartment! Now I can wear eye makeup and don't look so plain.

A week later after the right eye was done, I could drive at night! The eye doctor was very pleased. For my first night of night driving I went to a calligraphy class for modern calligraphy instruction--the calligraphy design on my book for "Getting Through the" in the title. Modern Calligraphy--such a great new hobby with brushes.

It has been suggested that as we age we learn new things. Well I am learning the alto part in my church choir and now I am learning a new brush calligraphy design. And I can drive at night!

CarMax and My Trade-In

This is the last car that I got for and with my late husband. I thought the price of this car was through the roof and strangely that day when I came home something else went through the roof (of the garage of our home in Plant City). I had gone up in the attic to get the artificial Christmas tree down. Usually my husband would do this. Unfortunately I stepped the wrong place and my leg went through the ceiling.  I blogged about it HERE. 

As you may recall, my husband died June 2014 from mixed dementia in Plant City, Florida. In June of 2015 I moved to Huntsville, Alabama, where I have family. My great family here loan cars to one another when there is car trouble. In my case they also drive me at night now because I need cataract eye surgery. People in my church here give me rides to night-time events. During Christmas break when I did not substitute teach I put my car in for more diagnostic work. 

This diagnosis went on for quite a while earlier in the fall. My GMC would work and then the car would make a noise. I put it in for diagnosis when I didn't need a car. My wonderful brother loaned me his car so I could work during the first week of January when school resumed and I could substitute teach again. I knew that I had to get a used car and not keep borrowing my brother's car while he drove his wife's car.  

The first Saturday in January my friend Sherry who was also searching for a new car and I set off for CarMax. We met a wonderful saleslady, Le-George. She introduced me to the Buick Encore. She has another job, but would be back Thursday night and this selected car was held until then. 

Now I am not driving at night because I am due for cataract surgery January 23 and 30. So the plan was I would enlist my brother to drive the car I was trading in to get to CarMax at 6 pm January 10. 

Thursdays I do not work because I spend time with my friend Virginia, soon to be 100 years of age. We have a ladies Bible study at church in the morning and then go to lunch. I left the lunch in my brother's car to pick up my brother and take him to his bridge game. I went home to gather my financial papers for the trade-in and possible sale that night.

Suddenly I got a call from my brother asking me to pick up his daughter (my niece) and her kids and take her for medical attention since his wife couldn't be reached on her phone. I did that and brought the kids to the other grandmother. Hurriedly I gathered up papers. Then about 4 pm  I left my brother's car at my apartment and drove my GMC to pick up my brother at his bridge game. I worried that it wouldn't make it to CarMax. We stopped for dinner and wonderfully we did make it to CarMax. We made a deal--$3000 for my car and car payments for the Buick Encore.

My brother drove the Buick to my apartment and then drove his own car I had been driving home. It's good he doesn't have to drive his wife's car now. What a kind family I have here!

Update:  mice are gone from my apartment now. (See last post.)

Post to follow: this senior citizen/widow gets cataract eye surgery and a driving test so in February she can drive at night. 

No,  I didn't get to the keep the bow!

The Love of a Caregiver Daughter

I had the privilege of interviewing an outstanding caregiver whom I had been corresponding with. My dog Ziggy and I were privileged to stay overnight with this couple. Over a breakfast of homemade biscuits Patricia said about her mother:

I was blessed with a great mother 

and I can do no less than care for her. 

She always tried to care 

for others in her family, 

selflessly giving even after she was disabled with leg fractures.

Her mother broke her hip and leg at age 84 requiring metal rods. Then 2 years later she broke the other leg in two places requiring rods and pins. Her resilience was amazing, but due to issues with blood pressure she began to lose her sight and have small TIAs. Then the dementia began as it often does in the 80s. Finally at 87 she had a stroke that paralyzed her left side and throat causing aspiration issues. Due to the extreme physical issues she was placed in a skilled nursing facility hoping for rehabilitation. Unfortunately a second stroke in rehab greatly reduced her ability to respond to therapy and today’s healthcare system discontinued the therapy due to lack of progress. 

This was a very stressful time for Patricia because she felt so helpless. She knew her mother didn’t qualify for therapy,  but without it she would just lose the existing strength and rapidly cycle downward. How do you watch a loved one lose their dignity and connection to reality? Her mother had good days where she was alert and realized that she was not getting therapy and therefore she had little hope of regaining function of her body and returning to her home. It is difficult to see a loved one lose their spirit and will to live. The 88-year-old mother also had a son, but he was not in a position to help. 

So for four years Patricia worked four days with the schools and then drove 3 and 1/2 hours to stay with her mother Friday through Sunday—so her mother could stretch her finances needed to pay around the clock caregivers allowing her to remain in her own home. Patricia said it overtook her life for those four years, greatly impacting the quality of her other family relationships especially the special time to share activities with her husband during their golden years together. She said that she always felt guilty trying to meet everyone’s needs at the same time and never doing a good job anywhere. Her mother had to pay $35,000 a year for Monday to Thursday caregivers when Patricia was not there during those four years. After the first major stroke her mother’s needs increased but Patricia was exhausted also. She had also developed physical ailments from helping to lift her mother over the last 2 years and now her mother would not be able to assist with any position transfers to prevent bed sores.

Something had to give. She was moved to live closer to the couple. They decided to have her dentist husband  hook up oxygen to create a sort of  SUV ambulance to move the mother to a nursing facility in their home town. The original plan was to receive therapy until she improved and could then assist with transfers and limited caretaking within Patricia’s home. Unfortunately, her health continued to degenerate and she was unable to make any physical progress. Now Patricia is able to visit her several hours a day and still have a life with her very understanding, caring husband.

I asked Patricia how she was able to sustain this selfless care giving for four years and even now going to the nursing home every day. She said,

I just do it.

I stay in the moment.

Then I’ve also let go of some 

other moments or expectations for my life.

I don’t look at it as an intrusion.

I know that once she is really gone

 I can’t touch her again, 

so for now it is all worth it.

Getting My Momentum Back

Tuesday I had a lovely breakfast with Kristi who understands grieving from her own path of suffering. She is giving back however. She and her husband have taken in the husband's disabled sister and twenty-something Kristi is making the best of the situation, gradually getting her momentum back. Kristi shared Scripture with me that has helped her and suggested after discipline (doing things she didn't have the momentum to do) the feelings of wanting to take care of her home and sister-in-law came back. Here we were two women almost fifty years in age difference relishing how the LORD is helping us.

Even though it is hard, it is time I get my momentum back after being a caregiver and becoming a widow. Thankful I am able-bodied. START and the spunk will come back.

Here are my 15 momentum starter strategies and things I am thankful for: 

1. Rejoining Weight Watchers. Food still can be fun. I am in no way perfect with my diet, but enjoy the 7 am Weight Watcher group I am in. 
2. Studying my sleep patterns with the Weight Watchers Active Link.Planning 30 minute naps. See HERE. 
3. Having a week off to get things done (November 24-28) and to be there for Sally whose car is in the shop. 
4. Getting on the treadmill. Walked on the cruise and three miles at the Alzheimer's Association WALK TO END ALZHEIMER'S.
   
5. Having yard sales and very conscious of what still needs to leave the house to be able to downside for a move maybe sometime in the next ten years. Meanwhile trying to take care of business at the house including home repairs. 
6. Writing raps again. After a year of not writing raps, finally wrote one and am testing it out when I substitute teach. The topic, "children having children", was a suggestion from an 18-year-old high school boy. He wanted someone to speak up on this topic.  The students so far like it. Meanwhile very shortly ten of my recorded raps will be on YouTube to add to the other three videos. 
7. Taking the anti-depressant Paxil every three days now instead of daily as at the start. In December I will not take this anti-depressant. 
8. Giving back. I daily email other caregivers. I am tutoring Esteban. 
9. Taking time for others. Went to a movie with another widow recently. 
10. Making a list of what I am thankful for and telling people. Went out and thanked my mail lady Connie. 
11. Planning ahead for Christmas. 
12. Keeping a ridged budget and attempting to refinance the house so I can pay off credit cards.  
13. Arranging my workspace for the dissertation on caregiving. Started working on it again after months of doing nothing on it. 
14. Being able to clean the floors. (My husband used to do this for the first years of our marriage and it has been hard for me emotionally to do it.)
15. Making progress with managing grief and being thankful. 

Dealing With Caregiver Stress

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Graphic from Vitacost

I am on a campaign to deal with stress in my life. I need margin for things that come up. I need to cope with duties like emptying urinals, preparing and removing false teeth, pretending that I am not asked the same question repeatedly and dealing with the anger of sundowners. Patience, Carol, it's called patience.

When Sally and I went to the Alzheimer's Association Support Group recently. Sally shared wonderful advice for our care receivers that say anything contrary to what is correct. Just say,

"Sweetheart, that could be true!"

Works like a charm.  I've tried it. Gives you something to say. 

At the support group we received the Associations's pamphlet, "Take Care of Yourself: 10 Ways to be a Healthier Caregiver". The pamphlet gives ten things to watch out for: denial, anger, social withdrawal, anxiety, depression, exhaustion, sleeplessness, irritability, lack of concentration and health problems.

 So I thought I would reflect on these ten ways. 

1. Understand what's happening as early as possible. It is common knowledge that the shower for the Alzheimer's patient is a struggle.  I have interviewed caregivers on this blog for my own preparation for this journey,. 
2. Know what community resources are available. The Alzheimer's Association has much help available. 
3. Become an educated caregiver. We will have stress, so deal with it and learn all you can about the disease. 
4. Get help. Look around my house and I feel so hypocritical because I have been blogging about the book The House That Cleans Itself. It hasn't been working for me lately. The rooms that were finished were somehow trashed again because I didn't work at it. I am still enslaved with the endless de-cluttering.  Encouragement of help from Kenny, Margaret and Pharis. Margaret, Kenny's mom who is a few years younger than myself, sees all I have on my plate. Kenny brought over a DVD for me to watch. Novel idea--sit down to watch something! Margaret who comes over to help with DH's pills or lunch when Kenny cannot, decided that helping with cleaning would help my stress level and I worked with her to do that one day. I look around and the house is better and I am encouraged to keep it up It was actually fun. She helped me get rid of clothes I didn't really need to clutter my my closets--huge relief--something I had not gotten to in the bedrooms. We are not done with the clothes, but there is a start. And there is help for the outside gardens and the roof with Pharis and his teenagers coming over next Saturday.
5. Take care of yourself. It was a treat to have lunch with Sally this week while our husbands were at Plant City Senior Center for the middle part of the day.  
6. Manage your level of stress. Right now medical bills I haven't had time to research are on my plate--some Preferred Care should have paid. Can you believe they think my husband fell in the house and that the homeowner's insurance should pay!!! We may change to another plan. Got to think medical bills through--pay a little on each. I know where they are--just for some reason haven't gotten to them. The denial of stress I guess. 
7. Accept changes as they occur. My husband's trouble walking has been hard for me, but fortunately the chiropractor is helping him. 
8. Make legal and financial plans. Did that early. 
9. Give yourself credit, not guilt. Actually I want to thank my LORD for sustaining me and forgiving me. 
10. Visit your doctor regularly. I saw my doctor on Tuesday. She gave me a prescription for the lowest dosage of Paxil, an anti-depressant, should I need to take it. I am getting it filled should I need it and some days I do feel I need it. I took it years ago when I was a widow and it helped me over hard times. 

The decision to not take ANY long-term substitute position is related to stress. I need to keep life simple.  I really think that life is a bear many days, and not just for ordinary living stress, but also perhaps it is because of my husband's Alzheimer's that it's hard to cope lately.

Yes,  I am so fortunate to have help. But there are no guarantees in this life and my future in heaven is secure and longed for.

Dissertation on Caregiving

Since 2006 I have been taking seminary counseling classes at my church. They are held sporadically after worship service. One class I had the privilege of teaching--counseling children. Incidentally, there are so many ways that Alzheimer's loved ones are becoming like children and Montessori techniques are great for children and our loved ones.

In the last class we practiced counseling techniques before everyone and we had a very talented couple amazingly act out the problem. I made a mistake of teasing the husband about yogurt, and he reminded me that was "privileged information". I gave him a quick (maybe not sincere) apology. I think I will buy him some yogurt for more of  repentance! But he even brought a cup of yogurt to this practice session!

One of the lovely newlyweds at our church acting for me

For this biblical counseling degree I read lots of books and outlined or summarized them. I studied for essay tests.  During these seven years one project was my book, Getting Off the Niceness Treadmill. Hubby read all the early papers and gave helpful comments with the early papers and the book.

In 2008 it became evident that my husband had dementia, later diagnosed as Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer's, My papers changed to reflect caregiving, but I didn't have him read them and also he became less interested in my academic pursuits. Papers included:

• The authority of an Alzheimer's husband
• Dealing with anger of an Alzheimer's loved one
• Praying well
• Dying well
• The self-discipline of a caregiver

This has been a wonderful opportunity for this old gal (I am 68). Let me know what you think should be in my dissertation. I will include some of the above topics.

Senior Citizen Complains About Technological Change

They already know my name, why do they need my email password?

Invalid username and/or password. Please enter your email password, not your LinkedIn account password.

So I get a notice that I didn't respond to _______'s request on LinkedIn six days ago. It looks like in the above picture there are 26 other things I missed. So LinkedIn will let me respond to her if I give them my email password. Are you kidding! Then they can spam all my email friends!  Let's see where this LinkedIn complaint goes. The most popular post on Plant City Lady and Friends with 2515 this morning is my complaint about an ad for "Brain Health and Memory Kit " here, LinkedIn--are you listening?  

It is so complicated these days. You almost need a chart for:

• Friends who only do Facebook
• Friends who only do Facebook games
• Friends who do Facebook chat and messaging only
• Friends who tweet on Twitter (I certainly do not)
• Friends who only text
• Friends who only do email
• Friends who say they do not read blogs after you spend time on a post and wonder if you should just do the extra step of copying it for them and putting it in an e-mail
• Friends who say just call but their message line is full because they don't return calls
• Friends who have several phone numbers and you forget which one to use
• Friends with a combination of the above
• Friends who don't understand how difficult it is to talk on the phone with the Alzheimer's hubby present and why blogging and texting is cool for me

I can hear the music in my head.  "Who ya gonna call?" and the answer in the old film is "Ghostbusters". But now it is how do I contact someone? Can't you just come over and chat on the front porch?

I do need prayer today with specific requests and for

the really difficult journey of caregivng for an Alzheimer’s husband.

And there are specific things you can do for us. 

   

Carol

Saga Twenty-Six

Car trouble. It's leaking fluid on Wednesday. Hubby notices when we are on errands. Says that someone who parked in our place before must have had a problem. Several hours later I also notice this liquid in our garage when I go to bring something to the car. Hubby has more long-term memory of car repairs than I ever had. I have also never driven a car with so many miles on it. I show DH the problem liquid in the garage.

You may recall that our newer car was totaled. See Saga Seven. The 1999 lots-of-mileage-gas guzzler has been our means of transportation for the last year and a half. It has served us well with our camping adventures. No more popup camping and probably no more camping. Hubby is very happy to stay around home with ventures out for activities and errands. He has accepted not driving as reported in Saga Twenty, despite the fact he passed two Alzheimer's driving tests.

"Call triple A," he tells me. I do that and the same Plant City tow company that picked up our totaled car comes and takes the gas guzzler away. The driver remembers out totaled car being in their towing yard when I show him the picture. I tell him how I use that experience with a DUI driver when I teach classes for DUI offenders.

"Where is our car?" hubby wants to know and I tell him what happened.

Again, "Where is our car?"

"I am bored," he proclaims. This is curious to me because he is usually content watching his extensive collection of old movies which he keeps right before him on the couch. There is no car for us to venture out of the house. I realize that he does like variety. He likes going to Toastmaster meetings with me and of course to our church. He loves going out to a movie if I can find one that has a strong plot, without complicated dialogue and intrigue, that would suit him.

We go to bed at the proverbial old people's time of 8 PM. Thursday and Friday the car will be repaired. I have appointments to change and need our car Saturday and all next week.

It's Thursday morning and I talk calmly about the car being fixed. He has forgotten about the estimated $800 needed to fix the car, but I haven't. I miss the strong hubby who used to take charge of car repairs.

LORD, help me just to do the next thing at home and to trust you for the outcome.

Added Saturday morning, July 14th. Got car back last night with the $1127.75 bill;  took $500 out of savings and charged $627.75. Labor was $878 to get to the problem. Something about the heater and cooling systems. Mileage for this 1999 gas guzzler is 192, 485. Maybe it will last to 300,000 miles now. Have a busy week ahead and glad for two days it could be fixed. Grateful for Sally and Jake who took us to get the car and had dinner with us. Hubby and Jake are soooo funny together.

Shot of Joy

Thanks so much for you who pray!

Yesterday I booked no sub jobs so I could be with my husband. I also got important work done at home and then in the afternoon we went out on errands. We went into Brandon to go to Macy’s so I could buy a wedding gift for my friend Barb in Minnesota. Then we went to Sweet Tomatoes for dinner. This time my husband didn’t major on the “where’s the beef” rant at Sweet Tomatoes and enjoyed the chicken from the chunky chicken noodle soup. I could stick to my Weight Watcher’s diet also.

As we were walking hand in hand to the car to go home, I noticed something dripping under the Ford Expedition, our only car since the crash of the newer Saturn with a DUI driver in December of 2010 written up earlier on this blog.  When we turned on the air conditioner, there was a horrible smell. We kept the air off and drove home safely without smoke or needles on the dashboard going bonkers.

Now my husband can obsess about something in the middle of the night and this can disturb my sleep. Fortunately when he did so Monday night, I was still able to function on Tuesday when I substituted. However, last night it was me who was not sleeping, and needing to work today. At one point I found that he was awake and I asked him a question, as if wanting back my old husband without Alzheimer's who could make decisions about car repair.

“Should I cancel substitute teaching so I can bring our one car in?”

“What’s wrong with the car?” I tell him about the water leaking when we left dinner last night.

“Yes, go ahead.”

I get up and get on the computer and cancel the job due to car trouble. I turn off the alarm, return to bed, and to try to sleep.

“What is the problem with the water?” he asks, interrupting my sleep. “Don’t we have enough?”

“Sweetheart, it is not the well water pump or the water to the house this time. It is the car that was leaking last night.”

We were able to sleep in to 8:00 am but I got up worried about getting the car repaired. I worry while doing all my familiar morning routines of feeding the dog, letting him outside and getting breakfast and lunch ready for both of us. While I am doing all of this, my husband keeps asking what the plan is for the day. It’s on the clipboard, but I remind him as if he is asking for the first time, not the fourth or fifth time.

My first car trouble. There was a time in college when I used a family car to get to my student teaching assignment; I froze the engine on our "senior sneak" with girls friends in the car and I remember this experience to this day. Other guy students had to pick us up and the car had to be towed to town. I remember my naiveté about cars and the generosity of my parents who in 1965 paid $300 to fix that car.

Surely I could destroy the whole engine again today on my way to getting it fixed as I had in college. And it wouldn't be that cheap to get it fixed!

DH prayed for me before I left and he said, “Lord, give Carol a shot of joy.” Knowing that our great God can answer prayers even of someone with dementia I left the house. I passed a field off workers picking green peppers. Soon I saw a yard sale with so many items I wondered if the family had emptied out their whole house. I drove the five plus miles to our Plant City Ford dealer and didn’t have to call AAA. Thank you, LORD!

A sign at the Ford dealer said “free inspection”. I explained more than they needed to know about me and Alzheimer’s and why our one car needed to work so that I could pick up extra jobs. I was cordially seated at a desk where I could work. I plugged in my Nook so I could power it up to read my morning devotions  from the reading version of the Daily Audio Bible. I plugged in my notebook computer so I could write this blog. THE SHOT OF JOY WAS COMING!

With my Nook recharged I read the Prayer for April 26 from the NIV Passages Bible

Lord, I ask you to renew my mind. Holy Spirit, please guide me so that I can find wisdom. I pray for the wisdom that can come only from your counsel and through a deep, abiding love for you. Guide my steps so that the kingdom may advance through me. I want to be a person of your Word through prayer and action. Amen.

Then I continued reading from Judges 6:1-40. The Lord has sent the Israelites a prophet to remind them that they have not been following Him. Nonetheless the Lord tells complaining Gideon to go in the strength you have (vs. 14) and I will be with you (vs.16). Gideon starts obeying even taking down the altars of Baal. Nonetheless he needs a fleece; it is wet one night and dry the next night while the ground around is the opposite both nights. Sometimes I need that reassurance of a fleece as well.

Next came my reading from Luke 22:54-23:12. Peter denies the LORD and Jesus is brought before Pilate and then Herod. Interesting verse (23:12) I hadn’t noticed: That day Herod and Pilate became friends—before this they had been enemies. Even though I have read/listened to the Bible every year for several years now, I had not noticed that interesting verse before.

Meanwhile Service Consultant Kent comes and tells me the problem is that a water pump needs replacing. They are ordering that part which will come in tomorrow morning and will work on the Expedition tomorrow and give me a ride home today.  Kent says something that makes me believe he is a Christian and I hear that he became one in his 30’s, his grandmother having prayed for him for years, never knowing on earth the fruit of her prayers. I lead him in prayer for his mom who is depressed now and write down that I will pray for her once a week. Another shot of joy!

Next I read from Psalm 95 and 96 and Proverbs 14:5,6 in my Nook.

• Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock off our salvation (Ps. 95:1)
• Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth (Ps. 96:1).
• Let all the trees of the forest sing for joy (Ps. 96:12).

A shot of joy for me--what my husband prayed for!  I get a ride home from James at the dealer. Of course I say home James. When I got home DH has forgotten about the car and where I have been but he is happy to see me. I thank him for his prayers this morning.  I can't substitute tomorrow because the car will be in the shop, but somehow I believe that the LORD will provide for our needs iincluding this car repair.

Added the next day (4/27). A day home with hubby and no car. It was so confusing to hubby especially in the afternoon. Lots of questions. What had happened to that car that he loves and now I drive when we go out? I call it the gas guzzler, but he loves being chauffeured around in it--says it is his favorite car ever.  His questions include how did we get home. Hubby even suggested that he should have handled this repair although I realized that his thinking was confused and it would be hard for him to handle.

The dealer called and said that it is the radiator rather than the water pump and they were working to get our car back that very day. They found the part in a warehouse so that it wouldn't be next week. The repair was much less expensive than anticipated and James picked us up about 4:30 and drove us back to Ford to pay for and get the car. All in all it was wonderful working with Kent and his crew. Thank you, LORD, for this shot of joy experience.

After we picked up the car we went to a movie, "Lucky One". This movie was one that my husband could comprehend, we both enjoyed and it had dogs in it! I reflected how simple our life is now, and how confusing for DH if one element, such as a car, is missing.

Simplicity and Complexity

• Today my husband is finishing up a week's prescription of Famciclovir 500 MG for his Shingles. Even with supplemental prescription insurance the cost for 21 pills was about $183.
  
• Vitamin B complex I heard helps Shingles and so I give him extra of that. He also takes Extra Strength Tylenol for his pain.


• In this short time Shingles have taken a lot out of his energy and spirit. He has had a heart attack, heart surgery, carotid artery surgery, and survived second degree burns on his lower legs--all with a good attitude and good humor. But, I must say that Shingles have thrown him for a loop. He is grumpy. I have heard that Shingles can last anywhere from a month to six months.


• His cold in January and Shingles in February may be due to stress. I have come to see that dementia is stressful for him. (I had thought that it just was me his caregiver that had stress.) The stress causes him to simplify his life and want me with him. When I am later coming home than he expected, he gets anxious. Yesterday I was talking with someone and came home a half an hour later and this bothered him, even though I called him to say why I was delayed.


• The simplicity of his life is in contrast to the complexity of my life with part-time jobs and many hobbies and projects. Does my life cause him more stress than joy? It is confusing for me to talk about my life to him--he doesn't follow all of what I am saying. I miss being able to tell him everything.

Depression for us older people

Again Everydayhealth.com came to my e-mail this morning--"Depression: Not a Normal Part of Aging". I learned:

• Depression comes to us seniors (I am 64 and my husband is 71), but it is not necessary.
• Prepare for changes. (This blog is helping me and I hope others too.)
• Work to maintain friendships. Thank you Glenn and Sandy for joining this blog as well as for your friendship of long standing.
• Develop hobbies. Lord knows I have them. Just look around my house. I am making a birthday gift for a friend, am writing a book, have a to do list. Much has been accomplished and the hobbies give me great joy. I made six gifts for Christmas; granted they were late, but they are finished.
• Stay in touch with family. How great it is that regularly family and friends have e-mailed me that they are praying.
• Break jobs into small tasks.
• Exercise. My husband didn't want to go to the gym yesterday. I was calm about this and do want exercise in my life--my habits may rub off on him.

Water. This morning I suggested my husband drink more water at his job. I send it with his lunch, but it comes back and he only drinks the diet green tea. Tea, beer and coffee dehydrate us--we need the real stuff--water. I read that you have less signs of thirst when you are older, but still need that water. If you are dehydrated you will become more tired. If you are tired, you won't want to exercise. But if you exercise you will have more energy and will fight off depression! Water. Drink to it!

Depression from time to time

Thanks for your prayers. Yesterday Newblogger encouraged me as did a cousin as I was depressed. Newblogger and I will also talk on the phone later today.

My husband didn't want me to go to a Toastmaster Holiday Party last night (yes it was late for the season), but consented that I go. So I was feeling half guilty for going without him--he wouldn't go as he had last year.

I also have to find last year's tax forms and can't. Last January my husband took care of this and now I am.

As it turned out, the party was good for me; several people there have parents struggling with the last stages of Alzheimer's and we talked. Yes, a challenge awaits me. But today is good.

Life is responsibility and isolation for all of us.

P.S. We are trying to not use our real names because of Internet security.