Getting My Creativity Back

Port-a-Potties at Best Buy

Wrote two new pieces. I must admit I had inspiration--Black Friday happenstance and a comment from 18 year old Joshua whom I substituted for in September. Ideas take time to jell, but not this Black Friday ditty below.

I am not a Black Friday shopper, but it turned out I was hanging out with Sally and Jake on Black Friday. My car was getting new tires (actually received Black Friday discount) and we went to Best Buy so they could buy a certain item for their granddaughter.

Found out that Best Buy had people camped out Thanksgiving night (Gray Thursday) and they provided potties for their customers! I had to take a picture! I had to write new lyrics to Rocking Around the Christmas Tree. 

Waiting in line on Gray Thursday 

And is it ever cold! 

All I want is in the display 

Get it before it’s sold. 

Waiting in line on Gray Thursday

Let the big discounts be mine 

Later I’ll have some pumpkin pie 

My day off has been so fine.  

You might get a jealous feeling 

When ’er you hear 

All I got for my money 

To deck my halls to be so pretty. 

Waiting in line on Gray Thursday 

Sleeping in on Black Friday 

If I missed some big discount 

I’ll get it Cyber Monday. (Music) 

Waiting in line on Gray Thursday 

And is it ever cold 

All I want is in the display 

Get it before it’s sold. 

Waiting in line on Gray Thursday 

Let the big discounts be mine 

Later I’ll have some pumpkin pie 

My day off has been so fine.  

You seem to have some special feeling 

You say that I’ve been missing? 

Gratefulness for what makes me jolly 

Ingratitude yes ‘tis my folly.  

Thinking about what I’ve been missing 

With all these new traditions 

Ingratitude for faith and family 

Three new days of acquisitions 

Three new days of getting stuff.

I guess I am commenting on how materialistic we are becoming, so to get the bargain we sacrifice family time to wait in line for stuff.  I will share this ditty at Toastmasters like I did my snow birds piece two years ago. See HERE for Summer Wonderland that goes to the music for Winter Wonderland. That post shows celebrating my husband's 75th birthday--so glad we did that.

The occasion for the new rap topic came from Joshua, an 18 year old who said, Mrs. Johnson, write a rap about children having children. I did and it might not be politically correct as adults point out to me, but all the students I have tried it out on like it.

Think, think, think 

You think you're entitled

       Your passions are unbridled 

           You’re barely out of toys

And you’re into boys

You think you’ll be a bride 

But he took you for a ride 

‘Cause he’s given you a distortion 

Of love that’s really hormones

And you’ll have a child 

While you’re still one yourself 

That daddy’s gonna hide 

But we’ll be by your side 

And don’t get an abortion 

Think about adoption

Yes, the diapers start to stink 

All because you didn’t 

Think, think, think 

You don’t have a job 

You can’t go out and rob 

Laundry will be piled 

Welfare will be filed 

‘Cause you didn’t abstain 

And there’s little to gain 

You didn’t think think think 

Yes, it’s time to refrain 

Don’t have a child

While you’re still one yourself.

I also am enjoying rapping for strangers--for example young people who offer to take my groceries to the car. Saturday I saw the latest Hunger Games movie (students I sub for will see it) and I shared my Boredom Games rap with the young woman selling me my movie ticket. She giggled at this 70 year old rapper and I told her about my YouTube channel for MC AC The Rap Lady that is scheduled to have ten more raps up soon.

PUT A SMILE ON 
SOMEONE'S FACE 

WITH HUMOR! 

Celebrating Being Old

The six weeks of Hospice care for my husband before his death on June 23rd saw my husband aging each day--looking older than his 76 years. 

A birthday was coming up for me also, and my husband died two days before I turned seventy. I just seem to never celebrate those decades appropriately and this year my husband had died and couldn't celebrate with me. 

When I was a widow the first time and turned 50, the gentleman I was dating didn't get it right. Then I thought that when I turned 60 I should celebrate at a Plant City tea room because my husband was so busy working. This was before dementia and I didn't know our friends Sally and Jake. The tea room event never was pulled off even though I hinted to friends.  

However, Sally got this decade birthday right as she planned a 70th b.d. luncheon at her home. It was so lovely. What a thoughtful friend Sally is! The guests that came brought two cards, as it turned out--a birthday card and a sympathy card. 

I am at the head of the table. 

That day Jake was at the Senior Center, and although he had been going there with my husband, he became accustomed to going there by himself as we all saw hubby going downhill. Six weeks later  Jake asked, "So did your husband actually die?" They were such good buddies. Life goes on even if memories fade. Part of my grief is that Jake doesn't have his buddy. 

I started a Pinterest board on aging.* Here are some pins you might enjoy.

We should take the best of every age.  Hey, folks, I rap. I plan to write more raps and get YouTube figured out.  I am working on an Ed.D. in counseling. 

Have a reason to laugh.

Laugh at our memory.

Laugh at our eyesight.

Laugh at our teeth. 

But above all, be spontaneous, creative and have fun.

* Click on the bottom of this blog (after the July 16 post) for Follow Me on Pinterest. 

Discombobulated With Caregiver Stress

Maybe I was a scatterbrain before becoming a caregiver. An Alzheimer's counselor even told me   blogging helps my stress. Here is my confession about my weaknesses and my often befuddled state. LORD HELP ME!

When you are a caregiver, you have stress. Could that explain why I cut my finger with Chef's Magic, went through the garage ceiling and accidentally swallowed my husband's pills and ended up in the hospital--all reported for the world to see on this blog!! Then there was the lost wallet on Good Friday in April--never found it to this day.

And clutter? Apparently you have to keep at this clutter problem. The thing is we have a great den with a pool table. Things get put on that pool table.  Put your supplies where your work is, according to organizational experts such as Mindy whose book I reviewed here. So cloth scrap material is by the sewing machine in that den. Now I am trying to sew a gift to be thoughtful and to save money and I need that pool table with its paper clutter cleaned off so I can cut out the gift. Shame on me! Too much clutter! Well I can't substitute teach this summer, so the opportunity to clean it off is here.  

Stress Indicators Recently?         

My digital camera went missing.  I didn't panic because I can take pictures with the iPhone. What is important is my husband. My digital camera was found in a box in the car.

My iPod went missing. I like my old iPod because I can get a phone call on my iPhone and turn it off and take the phone call or have them both on at the same time. I didn't panic about the iPod loss because I can listen to my podcasts, especially my Daily Audio Bible, on the iTunes on the computer. What is important is my husband and my being there for him. Sure enough that iPod showed up. It was right by the den's copy machine--camouflaged dark on the dark surface.

My keys to the DUI office went missing last Saturday. After several calls during the DUI break to get someone to the rescue, they were in the bottom of my purse! Does everyone just think I am flakey or what! Could it be that--

You work on organization all your life?! 

Today I have my husband at home and that is what is important. I am very pleased about what IS important. I am there for my husband who trusts me--a relationship we have built over our 14 years of marriage. The heart of her husband safely trust her it says Proverbs 31. Rather than my asking him,  he tells me if he is wet and I can change his adult diaper now in the bed--I am a skilled albeit stressed and befuddled caregiver. 

Chalk my scatterbrain up to caregiver stress or a character flaw, perhaps.  One day I want to get organized, but that day is yet to come.

Carol

Smiling and Laughing

From Natural Solutions Magazine

Even though we are a Hospice household now, it is not ALL downhill. There ARE things to laugh at and things that bring a smile. I decided to record some this week.

Smiles. I have been so encouraged by the prayers and contacts from others. The comments on the last blog post here are just a small fraction of prayers and concerns from others including Facebook comments. We all are learning about the progress of this disease and every dementia patient has a different course. When you have seen one Alzheimer's patient, you have seen ONE Alzheimer's patient I have heard in Alzheimer's Association workshops. Certainly DH and our friend Jake are different.

A funny. Hubby is social and easily adapted to people coming into the house that are new to him. So pleased. I was on an errand on Wednesday, and when I came home a hospice aide was skillfully giving him a bed bath. Now hubby has a quick wit. Here he is naked with another woman.

Hubby: This is my new girlfriend.

Me (his wife chuckling): Does your wife know about her? 

Hubby: No, I don't think I will tell her. 

The aide was aghast that he said that, but I assured her it was part of his humor that I love and that he wasn't flirting with her and I was not upset he said that. Later he forgot all about this funny incident when I told others.

Wednesday continued to be interesting as I adjusted to suggestions from the nurse. I had to buy a twin bed for me to be put by my husband's hospital bed. Not worried about his walking as he was watching TV in his wheel chair, I went on a second errand to pay for that twin bed I decided upon. Wrong! I should have worried.

When I got home I found Jake, an Alzheimer's patient himself and dear buddy of my husband, sitting watching TV when I entered the family room through the garage. Hubby was not in his wheel chair.  He forgot he doesn't walk well. Ahead of me down the hall was hubby on the floor in the master bedroom. Do not put one Alzheimer's patient in charge of another one without someone else being there!  I found two strong neighbors (men who are relatives of Kenny who is out of town) to lift up hubby.

Do you have people in your life who do not text now and you so wish they would? Probably they know something the rest of us don't know because they have a simpler life. When Sally returned to pick up her husband, I teased her about her lack of texting skills. We always go round and round about this issue. I would dearly love for her to author here as well. However, her granddaughter is scheduled to review a teen novel that features a grandfather with Alzheimer's.

Me: I so want to be able to text you, Sally. 

Sally (repeating what she had said other days): I know, I know, I need to learn to text. 

Stay tuned, folks, there might be a whole hilarious blog post on our texting each other about our husbands--neither one would ever get into texting.

Wednesday proved that no longer can hubby be alone. I do not know that he would call someone if he fell. Jake, on the other hand still uses a cell phone and Sally is glad because he can be the wandering sort. She can call him. AD patients keep teaching us about their disease.

With Jake picked up by Sally and hubby not injured from his fall, I settled in to fix our dinner. Hubby had to poop and so I wheeled him to the master bath which has more grab bars than the other bathroom. Dinner would have to be warmed up later and he would stay in the bathroom a long time.

Got a call from our pastor. He and his wife were coming over. Cool! Soon I was talking with them in our family room about the stress of the past few days. Hubby was still on the master bath toilet. The pastor's wife was sitting on the part of a couch that looks down that hall to the master bedroom with an open door.

She saw more than our
dog, I'm afraid! 

Suddenly there was a streaker! Hubby streaked to the bed within eyesight of my pastor's wife!  I haven't discussed this with her, but she reads this blog and might clarify if she did in fact see a streaker! Horrors!

Can you imagine your pastor's wife 

seeing your half-naked hubby
 down the hall streaking!

And that dinner! I fed it to him when he was in bed after company left. I am starting to realize I need to catch him at the best times for his nutrition.

I am glad that he is walking more, but he forgets he has fallen in recent days and really should not get up from the wheel chair. It has become evident that someone needs to be with him to be his memory and to help him not fall. He needs a sitter if I am not there. My working days are over unless I get a sitter. Kenny cannot do this all the time.

Teen Alzheimer's sitter. Late Thursday afternoon I commandeered two teens in the neighborhood that know us (I have substituted for them also) and fed them and hubby ice cream when I went out on an errand. Sure enough hubby got up to walk to the bedroom! The reliable teens were by his side. In the bedroom he forgot why he was there and they brought him back to the family room.

Apparently that chiropractic visit on May 7th before Hospice was starting to work now--hubby is walking. What Dr. Robyn has done for hubby dramatically helped him last year as I recorded HERE.   Her strategy has been to stimulate the nervous system and the muscles and organs to function. So just maybe, when Kenny gets back in town, we may be able to take hubby to church and back to see Dr. Robyn who has helped his functionality since last fall. Note that because of his level of activity and Alzheimer's, the decision was made last July to treat the arthritic bone problems with pain relievers and to give him physical therapy at home. Surgery for a torn ligament is not always recommended and it wasn't for sure that he had a serious torn ligament according to that MRI. But the knee is arthritic and he does take pain medicine for it.  See HERE. Also, see this USA TODAY STUDY. Alzheimer's can indeed impact the walk of our loved ones.

I get to stay home more. I love our home, and it will be interesting to see how the LORD is providing for our finances with my not working. I love that hubby is not in a nursing home now and I would hope he doesn't have to go to one because of the help of Hospice. More on that later.

Putting a smile on the faces of others. I rap for others. I say I'm almost 70 and would you like to hear a rap? Hospice staff love it--our main nurse looked up my rapping channel on YouTube. Young clerks and bag boys who serve me at a grocery store love it; if they ask can I carry out the groceries for you I say only if I can rap for you. Those teen babysitters love my raps. It's kind of a diversion for me. I am also starting a twice-a-month Bible study for several women--something I wouldn't be able to do if I continued to work so much. And, I do hope I put a smile on your face when you read this.

from Dr. Isaac Eliaz

A merry heart makes 

a cheerful countenance,

But by sorrow of the heart 

the spirit is broken. 

Proverbs 15: 13

Find the Humor

www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

Lots of stress this past week including health concerns for Kenny's mother who is scheduled for surgery tomorrow--stay tuned. With Kenny at the hospital for the past few days and for three weeks after the surgery when he goes out of town to help another relative of his, it is my turn to shave and shower my husband. HUBBY THINKS OF ME AS THE NAG IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.

I actually cried in front of my husband tonight about what kind of underwear he is supposed to wear now and whether or not he takes a shower. I have to keep reminding him to use the walker--doctor said so, I tell him. I asked him to pray for me which he did because I was so upset; somehow he found enough words to make a thoughtful prayer. He soften and promised to take that shower in the morning.

We had a plumber out on Wednesday, but for two nights water spilled out in the backyard. They came back, with an explanation,  but it is still not ideal. I don't do plumbing and car repair, nor can I explain them. I miss the days when my hubby could handle these issues.

Last night of all things I misplaced my wallet. I noticed it last night and retraced my steps today. I went to the bank this morning to see about a new debit card. I got cash out so I could buy gas. I need to replace a lot of items including the driver's license and credit cards.

But, what the heck, let me laugh a little at the two Alzheimer's husbands and at myself. .

Thursday night. Hubby is so slow at eating now that it doesn't pay to eat out if we are on a time crunch. But for our 14th anniversary two nights ago (when I had my wallet and when we did have time), we did eat out at Carrabbas in Plant City. I used my iPhone to post our picture on Facebook and my goodness we got so many likes and comments! Hubby was still working on his dinner of course when I was finished eating.

I have to laugh at myself. I didn't want to have an anniversary where we didn't talk, but I just got bored. He often doesn't understand what I say.  So out came Words With Friends games on my iPhone. Our waiter helped me with a game. Then it came up that I have a YouTube channel and often people in Plant City recognize me as MC AC The Rap Lady. In this nice restaurant our waiter got  other staff together to hear several of my raps. Hubby just enjoyed me rapping for these folks. Really we both had a great time.

Good Friday. Since we met Sally and Jake over three years ago, we have been going to Good Friday services at their church. Friday night was no exception. Sally told me 7 pm and we were late because of those bathroom issues of hubby. When we got to their church, the sign said 6:30 PM for Good Friday services so WE WERE REALLY LATE.  We snuck in and sat in back of Jake. Sally was in the choir. I watched Jake try to navigate the bulletin in this liturgical church and helped him at times. He started singing the choir's song. After the service Sally asked me if we could take Jake to Denny's while she and their granddaughter had a choir practice for Easter. The three of us headed to Denny's and I tried to find the funny with the conversation of our two Alzheimer's husbands, DH and  Jake.

Not to make fun of the husbands, but to document the stage they are in I was keeping track of the conversation. About ten times Jake wanted to talk about whether his wife would be joining us.

Jake: Where's my wife now?

Me:  She is at choir practice for Easter. She and your granddaughter will be joining us.

Finally (so I wouldn't be tempted to play Words With Friends on my iPhone as I did on our anniversary the previous night), I switched the subject and said that yesterday was our 14th anniversary. Jake then found a new topic--how long he and Sally had been married. He got his wallet out and started looking. The conversation went on and on--same comments.

DH: Your wife will know how many years it is, Jake.

Jake (repeatedly): But I should know. I am embarrassed that I do not know.

I finally told Jake that one doesn't keep the wedding certificate in his wallet. Now I happened to know that Sally and Jake had their 40th anniversary last summer. He continued to be so upset that he didn't know this. I wrote on a slip of paper for Jake: I was married in 1973 which means I have been married for 40 years. He put it in his wallet to take the place of that marriage license that he thought should be there.

Sally and their granddaughter came. He asked her about how long they had been married and said he was upset he didn't know.

Sally: Sometimes you forget things.

Both husbands needed their wives to them them how old they are. Sally whispered in Jake's ear.

Jake: I'm 76.

Me: Do you know how old you are, Sweetheart?

I also whispered in my husband's ear.

DH: I'm 76.

The granddaughter laughed.

Sally offered to pay for my coffee and my husband's milkshake. So I didn't realize that wallet was missing last night. I have indeed been humbled losing something.

I had been keeping hubby's debit card in that missing wallet along with mine. Today, Saturday morning, we went to the bank to get new debit cards. Hubby told the bank officer earlier today that I was always losing things.

Me: Name another time.

DH: There have been thousands of them.

Then we went to visit the hospital where Kenny and his mother were awaiting her surgery.

From Deal Dash posted on Facebook

Cars and Things Going Through the Roof

When dementia came into our marriage five years ago, we had two cars. Hubby passed two Alzheimer's driving tests and the possibility existed that he could be one of those seniors who drive who knows where and gets lost. Fortunately DH had at one point decided he wished to be a passenger and we would no longer need two cars. 


The decision of which car to get rid of was made for us.  A DUI driver totaled the gas-saver Saturn three years ago as reported HERE. So for three years we have had one gas-guzzler without car payments--The Expedition.  In 2013 it turned 200, 000, but my plan was that it should last until 300, 000. Somehow with help from Kenny we had been able to get  hubby into the passenger seat, but that step up on the running board was always a challenge. 


Tuesday morning the gas-guzzler engine rattled horribly as I backed out of the garage to go substitute teach. Fortunately my next door neighbor was able to give me a ride to school and teacher Mrs. Watson gave me a ride home. Tuesday night the Expedition was towed by AAA to Firestone who said it needed an expensive valve job that they didn't do.  I had the car towed to our Plant City FORD dealer where we bought the car thinking either repair or trade in the SUV. The diagnosis was an "intake manifold and engine problem" and it would cost $6400 to fix it. Wednesday Sally drove me to school to sub and picked me up from school and Thursday, yesterday, was the day to solve the transportation problem. I canceled my sub job. We needed a new (used) car rather than sink $6400 into this car! 


Kenny had Thursday afternoon free for us after his morning doctor appointment. He picked up DH and I about noon, and the three of us headed off to lunch. I got a text from my husband's daughter to go to a large Toyota dealer in Lakeland rather than try to barter a deal at our local Ford dealer where the gas guzzler was housed with my automatic garage door opener. Kenny thought that was a good idea to go to Lakeland and we got on I-4. 


Lakeland Toyota had recently expanded. We sat at a round table in large sales lobby ready to do business. Kenny commandeered Marcie to help us decide on a smart car. It was important that hubby be able to easily get in and out of a car now--it couldn't be too small.  Marcie had just the used car for us--gulp--with a seven year car payment after I put $2000 from a credit card down.  No trade-in, here, folks, and I could see their point. Dealing with the gas-guzzler at Ford would be another day. 


It took all afternoon for this lovely car to become ours as I am thinking prices are just through the roof even for five year old cars with 55,000 miles. Love this new-to-us shiny car with a great warranty that we acquired at twilight. It is a 2008 GMC Arcadia SUV and hubby just has to put his rear end on the seat and move his legs in. Perfect! And we do not have to rent cars to travel as we did last spring. 




Before Kenny came to drive us to Lakeland, I had yesterday morning to start decorating for Christmas It was time to start putting out my Swedish and hand-made decorations. Last Christmas we had not put up a tree because we flew out of town to my husband's son's home for Christmas. The artificial tree with its lights already on it was stored in the attic above the garage. Two years ago my husband had gone up the ladder to get that tree, but with his decreased mobility I needed to do that last night. 


When we came home from Toyota, I parked our new car in front of the house since the garage door opener was in the gas-guzzler at Ford. It was time to get that tree down with no car in the garage. I pulled the ladder down from the garage ceiling.  I climbed the ladder and asked Kenny to catch the tree that I would hand down to him. Suddenly. . . 

Something else had gone through the roof! 

Kenny took the picture and I'm thinking we should have filmed this for America's Funny Home Videos. Hubby of course got mad and swore profusely. This is what dementia patients do at his stage--their filters are gone. 


After dinner my husband had forgotten about our new car when I reminded him. He walked to the front door to view the smaller fuel-effiicient SUV, amazed that he didn't remember that we have a new vehicle. 


This morning I have bruises and a story to tell the teachers where I have been substituting all week. I will not remind hubby about my going through the garage ceiling. If he notices the hole, I will say Pharis is fixing the garage ceiling, which is true. 

More Demented Humor

Bob: Why do you have an enema in your ear?

Other senior: Oh that's where my hearing aid went! 
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Me on November 11 as hubby goes to the bathroom: So glad you are not using your urinal now so I don't have to empty it. [I have been emptying his urinal which he also calls his "pee jar" since August 27 when it has been hard for him to walk.]

DH: Oh, I haven't been using one since two years ago.

Is that right! I say to myself. Two years! No sense of time here! 

Now I have my aging issues also--mainly my hearing. Also as a senior I need to often use the restroom in the middle of the night to pee and this is one reason I am glad we no longer camp in a popup camper which didn't have a bathroom. I hated those middle of the night trips to the camp bathroom. When I sleep really soundly, I often pee on my way to the bathroom when I finally get up in the middle of the night. When I am wise instead of sleepy, I get up right away and no problem. 

But not always. Hubby laughed at me in the middle of the night when I told him about why I needed to change my PJs. Getting old ain't fun, I said and he laughed.  I think my self-depreciation makes him feel comfortable with his limitations. 
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Get two guys with Alzheimer's together and there might at long last be an argument after three years of knowing each other. It was bound to happen. Both men are capable of asking the same question over and over again and Sally and I just act like it was the first time it was asked. 

One day Sally was going to pick up Jake at our home. Jake wanted to know when his wife was coming and kept repeatedly asking every minute or so. Hubby got mad. 

DH: Stop your [expletive deleted] asking the same question over and over. 

Jake: Stop you swearing or I will beat you up and never step inside your house again! He was very angry at his buddy of three years. 

Jake went out to the front yard. I went out there to see that in his anger at my husband he didn't walk away and wander. I took the hose and started watering the beautiful plants that Pharis had planted. Soon Sally came to get her angry husband. 

Both husbands forgot about the incident the next day. AD patients do not hold grudges! 

Alzheimer's and other dementias are not funny, but you just have to laugh sometimes. 

* First Demented Humor post was HERE. Pictures from Facebook I think, but can't remember!!!