Movies With Memory Loss Issues

This is a repost of one I took off.  I have added one recent movie. 

"God's Not Dead". I was glad we could have a date that we both enjoyed so much recently. My husband was moved by the movie and didn't seem to flinch with the mother who has memory problems--in fact he didn't remember that part of the movie later. It is certainly more biblical than the current "Noah" which doesn't even mention God (we didn't see that one and do not plan to). The next day my husband didn't remember this movie at all.  

"The Notebook" is a beautify movie and book by Nicholas Sparks. We have seen that movie on TV. I may read the book, both well reviewed. Sparks writes in chapter one The romantics would call this a love story, the cynics would call it a tragedy. In my mind it's a little bit of both. Yep.

ADDED on APRIL 22, 2014.  SEE REVIEW IN COMMENT BELOW. 

"50 First Dates" my husband has seen several times I know and he remembers that movie but has said he doesn't remember how it ends. Four years ago he watched it on Easter with his son who was visiting Plant City. I wonder if they discussed it--I was at Books-a-Million with other family members at the time getting a book so the teenage granddaughter had something to read on her trip home to Virginia. We also own this movie and have enjoyed seeing it several times. There is  scene in the art class when the character played my Drew works; several men have 10 second memory and this is comedy in the film. However, the movie is very sweet.

"The Vow".  I wrote on Facebook: We saw "The Vow" today and it touched my husband. I told him if he forgot me I would court him as Kim courted Krickett. He said he wouldn't forget that he is married to me. He also compaired it to the movie "50 First Dates". I understand that the book is also a best seller now, and tells more of the Christian faith of Kim and Krickitt Carpenter. The world needs to understand that a wedding vow is a wedding vow. I am going to see if I can get this book for my Nook. The movie leaves so much out and makes it so Hollywood. However, that movie did bump up sales for the book.

"A 1000 Words" stars Eddie Murphy as Jack McCall and we saw this recently when we couldn't get into "Hunger Games" which of course was sold out that first weekend. Later we saw Hunger Games and I loved it. My husband liked neither movie.  "A 1000 Words" has gotten poor reviews and what disturbs me the most is how Jack McCall's mother who has dementia is portrayed. I have no sense that she is being properly cared for and her confusion that her son Jack is her husband is meant for comedy. Memory issues are not funny, folks.

"Away from Her" is about Grant and Fiona Anderson. Fiona is admitten to a facility and Grant cannot visit her for 30 days. When he does see Fiona after those 30 days, she has forgotten him. I haven't seen this movie yet, but learned about it at an Alzheimer's workshop several years ago. I ordered it, but have not seen it yet. 

"Forget Me Never" my husband and I saw on TV, enjoyed it, and I blogged about it earlier on Plant City Lady and Friends. We saw this movie, however, before he ever acknowledged his memory problems.

Tom Rush has a video song that makes fun of memory. Loss of memory, however, is not funny at all when you have it or your family member has that memory loss. My husband often relies on me for memory. I tell him I am happy to be his memory, but that memory is so painfully less now than two years ago when I first posted this list of movies.

The Aided Visit to the Doctor

It is officially fall now and I am taking a day off of work (my long-term substitute job with Educable Mentally Handicapped students) so that we can go to my husband's doctor. His poor walking recently has been probably due to arthritis.  So far Extra Strength Tylenol every six hours has worked fairly well until the rains came in the last several days. Kenny has arthritis and confirmed that his arthritis all over his body got worse with the rains.

Yesterday hubby only used the wheel chair to get around. We tried to use the walker to go to dinner last night, but he said that his knee was too painful.

This morning as usual I was asked many questions and as if hubby didn't comprehend/remember, the questions were repeated. I am used to this, but it seems to be increasing.

"Why are I going to the doctor?"

"So we can see about medicine for the pain in your leg."

"Pain in my leg?" hubby asks as he sits at the side of our bed getting ready. It's as if he doesn't comprehend the handicap he has had recently. I let him finish getting ready and leave the bedroom. Dog Ziggy greets Kenny who is here for the guys' morning routine.

Cheerfully hubby walks out to the den with his walker to assume his spot and greets Kenny for his usual weekday morning pill routine with Kenny. He jokes with Kenny, but respects and admires him as I do. Kenny is such a gift to me so I do not have to nag hubby to take pills, shave and shower. So I can still work, Kenny is there for us.

"I have more pills than you do," pronounces Kenny and successfully Kenny gets my husband to take his medicine.

An over-the-counter change in medicine in addition to Extra Strength Tylenol was recommended by a CVS pharmacist: Whole Body Joint Support by Finest Nutrition. The joint support tablets contain Rosemary, Turmeric (already taking that), Ginger, Holy Basil, Green Tea (gets that with Lipton), Hu Zhang, Chinese Goldthread, Barberry, Oregano, Chinese skullcap, Pine Bark Extract and Boswellia Serrata. It is the biggest pill my husband takes twice a day and a subject on conversation for the men.

Kenny gave hubby his biweekly shave before the three of us went off to the doctor this morning. Kenny physically lifted the wheel chair into our SUV in case we would need it. It turned out we only needed the walker.

I had put an Exelon Patch on my husband before he got dressed. One of the questions for the doctor is can we up UP the dosage of Exelon from 4.6 MG to 9.5 MG.  I have been trying that higher dosage, a gift from someone in the Alzheimer's Association Support Group because his wife no longer benefits from 9.5 MG Exelon. Today the doctor agreed to the higher dosage and said the joint support might not hurt. He asked about the coconut oil.

"Yes," I said. "He has taken that coconut oil for four years."

I have been reading up on arthritis and used to pride myself that my husband and I did not have this horrible condition--but now ARTHRITIS is here; it came in as innocently as my cold or allergies have come today.

At the doctor's office the pain meds are changed. Hubby will get 9.5 MG as an official prescription and the pain medicine is being changed to Tramadol HCL 50 MG three times a day which he will take at 4 AM, noon and 8 PM. He also got his flu shot and the doctor signed for a handicapped permit for our car.

The three of us then went to lunch at Olde Towne Pizzeria and Pasta Co. We each had a small salad and an individual pizza. The men both ordered a Caesar salad and a BBQ chicken pizza. I had a strawberry salad and a spinach pizza.  Then the three of us headed off for errands in Lakeland, but not before getting gas at Shells under $3.00 with my Winn Dixie card.

In the car while I drive the two men are so funny together. I am often in my own world, worried about the next stage of Alzheimer's, the next lesson plans, and what I have to do at home, but this was a very pleasant  day and I let myself enjoy their humor.

Questions remain on how mobile my husband will be with this new Tramadol medicine. If it helps him walk more, that will help his arthritis be not so painful and exercise walking will help the dementia. Stay tuned.

Back to lesson plans for tomorrow so I can go to bed early. Giving hubby that Tramadol now also.

Reflections on Wisdom

Youth are ahead in technology, but not always in wisdom. Are we passing on our wisdom to the next generation? Deuteronomy 6 expects us to. Mary in Luke 1:50 says, “His mercy extends to those who fear him from generation to generation.”

My teaching proves this generational transfer of values is difficult at best. I can think of two recent examples this last month.

First, stubbornness to change. As I have mentioned here before, several times a year I teach DUI classes for those arrested for impaired driving who are mandated by the state of Florida to take these 12 hour classes. I have the adults of all ages develop a plan for not getting another DUI. This is teaching wisdom. However, one twenty-something man actually said he will not have a new plan, but will continue driving after drinking. One day I may read in the paper that he has killed someone due to his impaired driving, because he refuses to change.


Sign I saw in a classroom


Second, defiance of authority. A high school girl in a class where I substituted said her mother was punishing her by not allowing her to use the Internet. I was curious and asked why because it would seem to me that she might need the Internet for some of her papers. “I woke my mom up and told her to go buy me some cake,” she said. “My mom refused and I cussed her out.” She had no sympathy for a hard working mother and I for one certainly concur with the mother's ruling restricting her daughter's computer use.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Character is higher than intellect.” So is character better than intellect? Can intellect can improve character and show wisdom? Only if that intellect pursues and chooses wisdom. Writing in the May 2012 “O” magazine, Nancy Ranger Anderson recalls, “One of my college English professors asked us to write a paper explaining the difference between knowledge and wisdom. At 18 years old, I saw no difference. Now I realize that wisdom really does come with age, maturity, and life experiences.”

On our recent trip I found out that my raps would be videotaped, and so Friday two weeks ago I was up at 4 am in Huntsville, Alabama finishing off another rap. My nephew is an Associate Pastor/Youth Minister and the rap below I wrote for his youth group. My niece and nephew videotaped me with several cameras so that the youth could hear it. My nephew introduced each segment and my creative niece is editing three videos with nine raps total and probably putting them on YouTube.* The rap below is going in my wisdom set.

If you don’t use your mind

You’ll soon be behind

And probably you’ll find

You’re begging with a street sign

You think you have THE potion

If you use your emotion

Think fun’ll get you our devotion

But it won’t get you that promotion

‘Cause emotion is no lotion

Just causes an explosion

Of me me me

In a sea sea sea

Of self-pity

Your own reality

So use your mind

Be careful with emotion

Get your education

Get your heart right

Heed God’s Word

Your future will be bright

You all have our prayers

You all have our devotion

First use your mind

But not your emotion

This is, young friend,

Life’s magic potion.

The last rap/poem addresses issues of maturity. I have been surprised at how well-received this rap has been when I have substituted in public schools in the past few days. One girl even said she liked that I mentioned God in this rap. I suspect God is only a curse word in public schools these days.

You have to use your mind and not your emotions to show maturity, unless you have Alzheimer’s. Here the mind and memory start to go, but emotions continue. Many think this is not the case and that both the right brain and the left brain start to deteriorate, but emotions do carry on into later stages of Alzheimer’s. Most of my wonderful conversations and prayer with my husband show emotion. Cognitive concepts are difficult for him. He will say Carol you aren't making sense.  However emotional talk of how we love our dog and each other make sense to him. He is very happy while I am gone teaching to enjoy a video with an emotional plot line while our dog is on his lap. I do try to use my wisdom to coach him. Yesterday I had to call him six times to get him to take his morning medicine. When I came home I praised him that he had accomplished what is on his schedule on his clipboard, but I do see his decline in cognitive functions. He can use his emotions, but depends upon my mind.

Carol

*Look for an announcement of the YouTube videos of nine raps my nephew and niece are producing. They have chosen M. C. A. C. as my rapper name. There is a lifestyle set, a classroom set and a wisdom set.

Handling Clutter, Part Two

The wise woman builds her house,

But the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

Several weeks ago Jake spent the day at our home while Sally substituted. Now, unlike hubby, Jake is a bundle of energy. He worked in our front yard in the morning and then came in and enjoyed the same lunch I made hubby--the coconut oil and tumeric toasted cheese sandwich, yogurt with extra blueberries, and coconut oil fudge--all good nutrition for the Alzheimer's husbands.  Then Jake and hubby got a second wind and finished off the back yard. How grateful I am for Jake and his energy. What did I do that day? De-clutter? No. I prepared food for a wedding and observed the husbands. One day this may be "babysitting" the husbands while either Sally or I substitute teach.

Friday morning. So much is great right now. I am slowing losing weight and hubby is still in stage one of Alzheimer's, but the house is a mess. I have an excuse--my carpal tunnel on my wrists, but it is slowly getting better. Time to own up to a problem and write part two and expect part three, etc., of reporting to you, gentle blog reader.

Simplicy 101 September Check List gave me ideas for our  home, but too overwhelming.

Flylady's daily e-mail:

You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.? Perfectionism is Shelved in 2012!

I am behind, though, FlyLady. I can shelve perfectionism. I have been shelving perfection like the encyclopedia that no one reads anymore. Don't worry. I don't have The Worldbook  like my parents did. I took this picture in the library where our Alzheimer's Association support group meets.

 

Speaking of that support group, as is our monthly habit on the second Tuesday, hubby and Jake hung out at our cluttered home while Sally and I went to the support group . Two persons whose spouses have died from Alzheimer's even come to offer their wisdom for our journey in this support group. After this support group we went with our husbands to a bookstore and to dinner.

At that bookstore, I found THE book that I will be blogging about--The House That Cleans Itself by Mindy Stark Clark. This post (but not this new book) has been planned since Part One. (When you call it Part One, you have to have a Part Two.) I began reading it while substituting yesterday, Thursday. Don't we all want a house that cleans itself! Here it is called the HTCI system and I now have my spiral HTCI notebook. Mindy (not my blogging friend) writes:

The first step in your home's transformation is to get a fresh, clean spiral notebook. You'll be using this notebook throughout your house transformation, so choose one with a brightly colored cover so it won't get lost in the mess.(p. 21)

My spiral notebook I bought last night has HO-PE in two lines on the cover and I put a sticker in the middle of it that says "HELLO I'M HTCI". I can't control my husband's disease, but I am controlling my eating and I can control my home.

Step One. You make a floor plan.

Step Two. Decide your "home base zone". Mine is our master bath and the guest bathroom. If those areas (HBZ) are always kept clean, I will be happy. Flylady's is her kitchen sink. What is yours?

Step Three I will do Saturday when all I have to do is Weight Watchers at 7 am in the morning. I will report back to you all here on this step three.

Step Four says the book is to put God at the center. "Prayer walk your home." It is not just that the house needs order so it can be cleaned, my spirit needs order. I need to thank God for my blessings and confess my mess to Him. Mindy writes on her own journey, "I needed to prayer walk my house to put God at the center of my housecleaning mission" (p. 42).

Step Five is gathering tools and documenting the evidence. This is what you need the spiral notebook for. You also take pictures of everything.

Step Six is evaluate the evidence; step six and the rest of the book will be lived out in later posts here.

HBZ report added Saturday, Sept. 15.  While I substitute taught on Friday I made the floor plan above. You will see that I have decided my priorities. I did the prayer walk and am so glad I did. Instead of looking at all the mess and excess in the house, I thanked God for so many things and also confessed my shortcomings and asked for His help. I feel cleansed myself. Thank you, Lord.

In the purging of the bathroom, I discovered humor in the picture. Why does a husband going bald need hair thickening? Why do we have his prescription from 2003 from a pharmacy that no longer exists and a doctor he no longer goes to?  There's the Dulcolax that is needed every three to five years for our horrible colon cancer exam! At least I won't buy another one and now will know where it is. Who needs maxipads in the house?



(By the way I will turn in this prescription for an oxy derivitive to a drug store so it gets disposed of properly and doesn't get into the water supply. You know I could sell it illegally and make money, but I WILL NOT.)

What an 18 Year Old Asked Me

I didn't expect her question last Saturday afternoon. I was tired and overbooked. I had had a busy week taking an addiction workshop for my recertification to teach DUI classes.  Saturday morning I was up at 5:15 AM to get to a 7 AM Weight Watcher meeting. Then I taught one DUI session from 9 AM to 1 PM and this was my second four hour class from 2 PM to 6 PM--a state mandated class for first-time drivers. As a senior citizen, I don't relish being so busy.

In the Saturday afternoon class I talked about our crash with a DUI driver that I wrote about earlier in this blog (December of 2010).  I feel telling about our crash helps instill safety and seriousness behind the wheel for first-time drivers. I mentioned that since one of our two cars had been totaled, we now have only one car. There is not a second car home when I am gone. My Alzheimer's husband can't drive off and get lost as often happens with those silver allerts. I talk about that crash and the students listen carefully. Apparently a husband who will die one day also interests one young lady.

The young 18 year old woman who is raising one child and expecting another one asked a perceptive question. Her sincere question deserved an answer I realized.

Are you upset that
your husband will die?

Usually a teacher doesn't talk about her personal life. There must have been something about me that made her comfortable to ask such a personal question.  I hadn't mentioned being upset and she wanted to know. A personal answer is not part of the curriculum, but this is where connection, so important in education and in really being a role model, needs to happen.  Connection was stressed in that addiction workshop I attended the previous week. I answered from my heart.

I take one day at a time and am not sad each day. I believe that my LORD will be there for me each step of the way. My job now is to keep my marriage vows "in sickness and in health . . . until death us do part." 

We had made a brief heart connection.

After class she said she wanted to see me again. I said that I wasn't allowed to keep up with students outside of class. She said she would call the office that schedules my classes and visit me when I taught again. Young people are watching how we deal with issues that life brings our way, or at least some of them are wanting our answers.