Simplifying Conversation

• One idea at a time. One subject and one verb in a simple sentence. No compound sentences.
• Use the word, not a pronoun.
• Keep very calm.
• Don't mention the recent past because hubby can't relate.
• DH will write things down, a way of dealing with his memory issues, but needs my help to spell.
• LMT (lost my thought--see cartoon above). Do not interupt him because he will lose his thoughts.

These seem to be the cardinal rules of dialogue now with communicating with my Alzheimer's husband. I have read some of these suggestions elsewhere, but just decided to write them all down.

I can do this caregiving bit with the Lord's help. The Lord is my shepherd, my caregiver!

Why am I discourged?

Why is my heart so sad?

I will put my hope in God!

I will praise him again--

my Savior and my God!

. . .

But each day the LORD pours

his unfailing love upon me,

and through each nght I sing his songs,

praying to God who gives me life.

 from Psalm 42

Saga Seven

We had an automobile accident Sunday coming home from church. It was a crash waiting to happen. It is no "accident" when someone decides to drive after drinking. The picture shows the investigation by the Sheriff's Department. Call it that driver's crash and our "accident", where we were protected by divine hands. (Nothing in our lives is an accident knowing that the almighty God is there for us.)

I am driving our Saturn and see an Explorer not stopping at a stop sign and barreling though the railroad tracks perpendicular to our car. There is going to be a crash! I swerve into the oncoming traffic lane where there were no cars to try to avoid being hit, but it was not to be. LORD, thanks for our lives. Thanks that I am not a widow again. The driver gets out briefly and then tries to leave the scene. However the good old boys of Plant City are not going to let him flee the scene. The Explorer trying to flee loses control and ends up driving on the railroad tracks before being stopped by perfect strangers who are waiting for authorities to come.

• 5:01 pm the Sheriff  receives call from 911 dispatcher.
• 5:08 pm they arrive at scene.

• Paramedics check us out. Huge bump on DH's leg gets treated with an ice pack. I suspect that the glove compartment flew open and caused this. Note in the pictures how close my husband in the passenger seat was to being hit straight on.
• A lovely lady whose husband is the Youth Minister at nearby church comes and prays with us. We also pray for the gentleman who hits us. By that time we have heard that he smells of alcohol. She also uses my digital camera to shoot pictures.
• Daughter of DH comes and we transfer items to her car where we wait until they are able to let us leave. (I had called her on my cell and police let her car through the barricade.) 
• Tow truck carts off our Saturn.
• Railroad worker inspects the train track.
• 7:00 Report is finished and we are allowed to leave. We see Explorer driver given sobriety tests as we leave.
• 9:00 Arrest for DUI with Property Damage and no valid driver's license. He did not face other charges according to the Sheriff's on-line report such:  open container (reportedly he had taken them out of car); fleeing the scene; running a stop sign; and no valid insurance.  
• 10:37 PM Gentleman  is checked into jail and bond is set at $2,750. DUI with property damage is $500, $250 no driver's license, $2000 for previous warrant for no driver's license. BAC (Blood Alcohol Concentration) given as .172/.180. This makes his BAC well over .25 ( three times the presumptive legal limit in Florida) at the time of his crash and the estimate is that he could have had ten beers or whatever alcoholic drink he chose to imbibe in a short period of time. (You lose .015 BAC per hour after you stop drinking. According to Sheriff's web site he has been in jail two nights now--no one bonded him out.)
• Meanwhile at home DH goes to bed with yogurt and his medicine including Ibuprofen which DH's daughter thoughtfully goes out to get for us. I take a pain med and Ibuprofen and start to get food before I pass out. I recall holding strangely to the kitchen counter and thinking what am I doing this for?  I was passing out. I raise up and fall down and vomit. I call DH and he comes and then leaves and vomits. Our problem was we didn't eat enough with the meds.
• Middle of the night my husband complains of back pains. I finally get to sleep at 4:30 AM.
• Monday at 9 AM call State Farm Insurance and receive calls from them all day. Both of us are sore.
• 4 PM husband has doctor's appointment, gets anti-inflammatory and muscle relaxant, shot, and prescription for x-rays for his back. My doctor will get back to me about an appointment on Wednesday.
• 7 PM we have dinner with Sally and Jake at ABC Pizza and tell them all about it. We make tentative plans to spend New Year's Eve at their home.

We both thank God for our lives.

Memory Device

Several months ago my husband asked for a voice recorder. A friend was going to give us one he wasn't using. We forgot about this until yesterday morning. He wanted one. Getting one was part of our Saturday date which we both were looking forward to.

We went to Radio Shack and purchased one before we went to see the excellent movie "Grand Torino". The Olympus Digital Voice Recorder VN-100 was about $30 and measures less than 4 by 1.5 by .75 inches--very small and easy for my husband to have in his shirt or pants pocket. He used it at Radio Shack without reading the directions and the sales clerk mentioned that police officers often buy this model. www.olympusamerica.com

By the end of the movie he had forgotten about his new digital recorder and made a comment about taking it back. Like the new TV service and remote control, I do believe he will get into using it. We will just have to work on it. (I have been his memory device--he calls my cell phone and tells me what he wants me to remember.)

After the movie we went to get gas for the car. Some lady at the pump was having a bad day and he couldn't follow what she was saying. He got in the car and started swearing about the lady while I was talking on my cell to my sister-in-law who I know doesn't like swearing. In fact, she and I were singing the praises of "Grand Torino" and she mentioned that she liked everything about that movie except the swearing. I told her I had to go and hoped she didn't hear his swearing. Swearing is how my husband reacts to stress. Lord, please change him/give me patience!

After the gas station, we went to dinner. I started a conversation about the movie. I remarked how the main characters in the movie had grown or evolved during the movie. My husband couldn't relate to my statement. He just said that he enjoyed the movie.

Thank you Lord for the lovely date and that I kept my patience.