Last Stage Caregiver Dolores' Candid Interview

Front porch chats are preferred, but when blogging friends are separated by miles, chatting and typing the interview on Facebook also works. My husband is in stage one of Alzheimer's and I wanted to know more about the journey. Dolores lives in Texas and I live in Florida, but we have become blogging friends. Here is the interview which took place recently.  

Carol: Can you chat now? I have one other message to do. Hold on. . . . I am back now.

Dolores: Been walking the dog, I'm back

Carol: Great! How was your day, first off?

Dolores: Very good, church circle ladies meeting and weather is wonderful...how about u?

Carol: I substituted. Easy day.

Dolores: Great...

Carol: You have always been neat, but how did this help you going into Alzheimer's?

Dolores: Just less mess and confusion for me and David. When my house is messy or cluttered, my brain feels confused. That probably sounds weird, but true for me.

Carol: A place for everything and everything in its place for David and you. Like you I want less and I want neatness and this will serve us well then.

Dolores: Yes, I started getting rid of what we didn't need right of way, sold our house, gave David's car to sister in law. My motto was less is better. All the things I gave away, I haven't missed them at all.

Carol: I both try to enjoy every day and plan ahead. However, it might be easier to ignore the disease. But that wouldn't be responsible. It has been hard for me to assume decision making when Herb had been the leader.

Dolores: Plan ahead and then enjoy every day.....you can't plan everything though; each person and circumstance is so different. One day at a time.

Carol: Was it hard for your husband when you downsized from a bigger home to a smaller home. Did David miss his old home?

Dolores: No, he didn't mind moving, didn't mind not driving. He’s always been very easy going which made it easier for me.

Carol: How did you deal with worries about David when your dear husband used to be your confidant

Dolores: I have a very best friend, she's the same age as my son...she's been my rock. We cry and laugh and discuss all the “what ifs”.

Carol: You often blog about her. How has blogging helped you during this time?

Dolores: Blogging has been so wonderful! I try my best to be real and honest with my feelings, and I feel like people really know me.. The blog has been good for me to unload my feelings, receive the wonderful comments, and keep a record of a timeline of the disease

Carol: Did David accept that he had Alzheimer’s?

Dolores: David accepted it from the very beginning; I know he suspected it....David's Alzheimer's went very slow and then started going down a couple of years ago.

Carol: Yesterday I asked my husband about how he feels about his short-term memory and he said he isn't bothered or doesn't notice it! How can that be! He forgets he forgets! Did David start to notice when it got worse for him--when he couldn’t do things?

Dolores: See, I would never question David about his memory ....I figured he knew it, and we didn't need to talk about it.....No, I don't think he was aware as he got worse, but maybe he did and we didn't talk about it. We didn't talk about Alzheimer’s, other than maybe joke when something silly happened, that it was Alzheimer’s doing it, and we'd laugh.

Carol: Did you have to deal with anger in David? I have had to with my husband several times. Then he forgot he swore or was angry.

Dolores: David would get a little upset when he'd see something that I didn't see, so I got where I'd go along with whatever to keep peace. The mood swings are just part of the disease I think.

Carol: As Bob DeMarco writes often on The Alzheimer’s Reading Room, you have to enter into their reality.

Dolores: That's right, and disagreeing or arguing only makes things worse. It's so hard not to disagree, but it gets you no where.

Carol: You would give him some melatonin so he would sleep well. Did you ever have problems with his getting up at night?

Dolores: I only gave him the melatonin for a short time. The only problem I had at night was for me to wake up when he needed to go to the bathroom....or might not find it. I didn't sleep well at all. Always trying to make sure he could find the bathroom or he’d go on the floor (many times).

Carol: Did you have problems with mirrors as some have--seeing some other man in the mirror?

Dolores: Never....in fact I have lots of mirrors. Also he didn't repeat questions or answers like we often hear, each person is so different when he would see things (hallucinations) it would be hard for me to keep my mouth shut and not disagree, but I got better with time.

Carol: Was Aricept 23 what made the hallucinations lesson you think?

Dolores: No...... As the disease progressed his hallucinations began... Aricept stops working after a while.

Carol: Did David ever wander?

Dolores: No he didn't wander, but I watched him closely.

Carol: Because of your blog I use music. I have playlists on my iPod that I often play for my husband in the car and will in the house at some point. This may work when DH no longer cares to watch TV.

Dolores: Yes, the music was so wonderful, because he suddenly stopped watching TV and reading....so listening to music and sweeping our patio were God sends—something he could do.

Carol: David would read, but my husband doesn't wish to read now. Did you need to find ways to entertain David?

Dolores: We'd walk the dog around the block in the morning and evening. I'd take him for a ride in the car....he'd sweep off and on during the day on our patio and the rest of the time he would look at the TV, or play his country music and clap his hands. That's really all he could do.

Carol: How did you occupy yourself with something when it got to that point?

Dolores: I love to work with my plants on the patio, organize and clean house, visit with friends and spent time on the computer. I started hiring someone to stay with him for a couple of hours so I could go shopping.
Carol: Was he talking fluently at the time you decided to put him in the nursing or Alzheimer's facility?

Dolores: No. He would say a few sentences that made sense and many that didn't.

Carol: I remember you sort of tricked him into going there.

Dolores: I started taking him there for respite care once in awhile. I'd tell him I needed to shop and couldn't leave him alone, he was ok with that.

Carol: My husband is having trouble being motivated to mow the yard. Maybe he'd like having someone else do it? What do you think? They say keep your loved one as busy as long as possible. I think we need to hire someone, but then he might take offense.
Dolores: Maybe if you tell him how much it will be helping someone else by them doing the yard. He might end up liking not doing the yard.
Carol: Yes. That might work. You have achieved for better for worse, in sickness and health and almost till death us do part. Will you be both relieved and sad when he dies? You have to be living in grief now when he doesn't know you when you visit him.

Dolores: I'm sure both feelings, but it's so sad to see him in bed, drinking his meal through a straw, blank look on his face....the David I knew is so different....mostly I will be relieved that he will be whole again when he dies, but I will miss going to see him...a mix of emotions.

What I'm Learning About Senior Health, Part One

Some of this information may not be new, but I decided to blog about it anyway, both for the lovegiver's health and the loved one's health.

A University of Massachusetts-Lowell clinical trial showed that drinking apple juice significantly improved mood and behavior among a group of patients diagnosed with moderate-to-severe Alzheimer's disease. Cornell University research also suggests that quercetin may be the compound in apples that protects brain cells against oxidative stress associated with Alzheimer's.

This was reported on The Alzheimer's Reading Room. Of course actual apples have more fiber than apple juice has. My husband regularly gets applesauce.

Get the proper rest you need according to a study here.  Research suggests:

1. Avoid going to bed and getting up at different times.
2. Don't do games and social networking before bed. These keep your mind racing.
3. Don't read or watch TV in bed.
4. Keep the light in the bedroom low. I do think that the Alzheimer's patient does need some light, however, so they can identify things at night.
5. Sleep helps fight off infections by releasing hormones in the body.
6. Energy is restored.
7. The brain is working to create new pathways. You know the expression, "Let's sleep on it."
8. While we sleep the heart rate and blood pressure are reduced.

I also wrote earlier on this blog about rest here.

How we process our food is important according to Kimberly Snyder. I have also pinned some of her health ideas on my Pinterest Board which you can follow by clicking below. Our loved ones need fiber from vegetables, fruits and whole grains. According to Kimberly, artificial sweetners aren't absorbed by our bodies, so they pull water into the intestines leading to loose stools. Stevia is the most acceptable artificial sweetner and I use a combination of real sugar and stevia for my husband. Murky pee could be a uninary track infection that caregivers are so concerned about for their loved ones; patients can go downhill with these infections but not complain I read on The Alzheimer's Reading Room (see link on side). So we need to check their pee.

The older we get, the less thirsty we feel and then the more tired. I have a friend, Shirley, who sends me wonderful e-mail and I discovered from that e-mail a strategy for drinking our water.
Drinking water at a certain times maximizes its effectiveness on the body:

• 2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs  
• 1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion
• 1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure  
• 1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack

We also know that we wake up in the middle of the night and get a cramp in our leg because we needed more water or maybe the potassium in a banana. Older people need potassium, but I have heard that potassium pills need careful monitoring and the banana is as easier way to obtain that potassium. On Weight Watchers I can count a banana as zero points (as long as I limit them).

I also found out that a person needs to take CoQ10 with a stanine such as Lipitor or Crestor. Our chiropractor also recommended it as I wrote here.

Oh, and walk carefully so you or your loved one don't fall. My husband and I usually hold hands. Slows me down, but oh well! I get my exercise separately from my husband.

In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for ... ... It is of no use for you to get up early, and to go late to your rest, with the bread of sorrow for your food; for the Lord gives to his loved ones in sleep.  Psalm 127:2  

Adrenal Fatigue, Google and the Doctor



Ah, doctor. Google begs to differ!



We are hoping that future generations will not have to deal with Alzheimer's as more information comes to light. The Alzheimer's Reading Room and other sites hold promise for unlocking the mysteries of Alzhreimers.  You can google these discoveries. Tell your doctor about them. I told my husband's doctor about the coconut oil and so far he is not concerned about the extra fat in coconut oil.

When I went to my doctor this week, she was so pleased with my weight loss. P.B. was 122/80 for this 67 year old. Just exercise more, Carol. Today's exercise is gardening--which needs to be done. Hubby didn't want me to go to the gym when we were out this morning.

7 AM today I went to my weekly Weight Watchers meeting where I made a benchmark goal and got to walk the red carpet. I learned what a "Jolie" is as the leader encouraged me to do that on my red carpet walk. When I substituted this week, a student at a middle school where I sub often asked if I had lost weight and I said yes. The class clapped for me.

                                                                            

A few evenings ago,  DH, Sally and Jake and I attended a health workshop at their church. The presenter shared this quote.

75% of the disease prevalent in western society

today are . . . related to the stress mechanisms

of the body. The Standard, Vol., 3, No. 1

I asked questions at the end of the presentation. The doctor agreed that over-dependence on meds and preservatives in our foods can trigger a whole lot of other problems down the road. It is so easy for doctors to just prescribe pills. So I did some Google research on the topic of Adrenal Fatigue.  In turns out that you can have saliva tests to determine your cortisol/DHEA levels during the morning, afternoon, evening and at night.  It is possible to test your cortisol levels and then use a compounding pharmacy to have just the right mimimum prescription for your needs. This way you don't overmedicate.


Without adequate cortisol levels the sleep/rest and recovery cycle is not restored.  We sleep well and restore our CORTISOL levels in the first  hours of the night, and then need four more hours to restore the rest of our functions. Here are two of my Google finds:


Adrenal Fatique in Women
Another DHEA


"One of the main goals of every caregiver should be finding a way to have enough rest. Everything depends on it," writes Gary Leblanc in Staying Afloat in a Sea of Forgetfulness: Common Sense Caregiving, Expanded Edition (p. 110)

Here's to a good night sleep, you all!