"A Christmas Memory"

One day recently while substitute teaching I read a thoughtful piece by Truman Capote. I almost cried, but I was with students and didn't think it was wise.  “A Christmas Memory” is about his friend who calls him Buddy, an elderly cousin and what they did to get ready for Christmas. They made and gave away fruit cake and went to the woods to cut down a tree and decorated it with homemade ornaments. They made each other kites for Christmas. 

The reflection ends:

This is our last Christmas together. Life separates us. Those who Know Best decide that I belong in a military school. And so follows a miserable succession of bugle-blowing prisons, grim reveille-ridden summer camps. I have a new home too. But it doesn’t count. 

Home is where my friend is, and there I never go. And there she remains, puttering around the kitchen. Alone with Queenie.  Then alone.  (“Buddy dear,” she writes in her wild hard-to-read script, “yesterday Jim Macy’s horse kicked Queenie bad. Be thankful she didn’t feel much. I wrapped her in a Fine Linen sheet and rode her in the buggy down to Simpson’s pasture where she can be with all her Bones. . . . “). 

For a few Novembers she continues to bake her fruitcakes single-handed; not as many, but some: and, of course, she always sends me “the best of the batch.” Also, in every letter she encloses a dime wadded in toilet paper: “See a picture show and write me the story.” But gradually in her letters she tends to confuse me with her other friend, the Buddy who died in the 1880’s; more and more, thirteens are not the only days she stays in bed: a morning arrives in November, a leafless birdless coming of winter morning, when she cannot rouse herself to exclaim: “Oh my, it’s fruitcake weather!” And when that happens, I know it. 

A message saying so merely confirms a piece of news some secret vein had already received, severing from me an irreplaceable part of myself, letting it loose like a kite on a broken string. That is why, walking across a school campus on this particular December morning, I keep searching the sky. As if I expected to see, rather like hearts, a lost pair of kites hurrying toward heaven.

Thinking about Christmas 2013 

with my late husband. 

The kites are flying. 

So glad for my faith

in Jesus Christ and that 

my husband is with Him. 

Enjoying My Christmas Quilts

Therefore the LORD Himself will give you a sign. (Isaiah 7:14) He told us that Jesus Christ was coming in the Old Testament, He did come and transform history (and my life). It is the season to celebrate the difference Jesus Christ has made in history and in my life.

Several years ago I made this wall hanging that I use every Christmas. I have learned more about quilts since then, but am sentimental about this quilt.  It was from a cloth book that was to be made into a child's book. I made several cloth books for relatives years ago. 

I also have a quilt Christmas tree skirt and have made Christmas tree skirts for several others in the family.

Hubby forgets what he is getting for Christmas even though he was there when I purchased it. Our dementia loved ones are hardly aware of the times and the seasons--yesterday, today, tomorrow, Christmas. 

Last Christmas we flew out of town to be with your son, I mentioned to hubby.  

I don't know what you are talking about, he replied, but I leave it in your capable hands. 


Now my capable hands got me in trouble last Thursday where I went through the garage ceiling  to get the artificial tree.  Kenny informed me that tree is not going back into the attic after the holidays. It will go into the workshop that will be the next room to clean out. 


This year we are spending Christmas with hubby's daughter and family here in Plant City and I wish you and yours a wonderful Christmas. 

Quilt Gifts

I showed the fabric world map in the last post. I just love making gifts for family and these lap quilts are educational as well for three families with small children.

Since last post I have quilted by machine on the latitude and longitude lines of the map. Actually I did every other line. Then I cut out the edging on the bias.

Fold 2 3/4 inch bias strips in half and iron

Sew edging to the front of the cloth world map





Sewing bias strips together

Sew to back and miter corners



Great help from three ladies.



I bought my Swedish Viking sewing machine from this store and they continue to help me with projects. Owner Becky suggested the stiped fabric borders; Melody, whom I took a class from several years ago, suggested I use the 505 Spray and Fix instead of stressing my carpal tunnel wrists by pinning the brown or animal print to the back of the world map cloth. Holly refreshed me on the best way to do edging for this project.

What did I do? I knew about how to miter the corners. I used my braces on the wrists while I sewed on the machine with its fabulous quilting foot, and cut with the pictured flat edge scissors so I didn't have to bend my wrists.

Tools that helped me.

Off to the post office and then finishing  a few Christmas cards. DH was very proud of these quilts.

This and That TWO

So thankful for all of you who have prayed during my health scare that I wrote about earlier this week.

The Pill Pusher. My husband's pills are so powerful that they landed me in the hospital. Many days we argue about his taking them in the morning before I leave to substitute teach. Then I can call him and remind him to take them and have even come home and he hasn't taken them. He has considered me a real nag. I made an executive decision. I have long known that routine is so important for Alzheimer's patients. This is why Jake and DH are going to the Senior Center once a week now--getting used to a routine--Sally's brilliant idea. My husband's routine of the clipboard schedule for the day also works; one side shows his schedule and the other side shows mine. We have different pill boxes now and a new routine. Now we both take our medicine at 7 am and 7 pm and that is on the typed schedule. I reinforce this by reminding him that he doesn't want me to take his pills again and land in the hospital.

Garage door is fixed. Just off track. I got explanation on how to put it back on track. Only a $35 service call. Hubby used to understand this and so I didn't bother learning about it. Also I need to learn how to use our expensive carpet cleaner and will go to a vacuum cleaner repair man to find out how. Hubby no longer knows. About a year ago we had a professional come in and clean carpets and now stains have come up from that experience--from the mud they left when the carpet didn't dry. We really can't afford to re-carpet the whole house. I guess stained carpeting is better in case one of us falls again as I did on Tuesday. But the stains are so noticeable.

Making Christmas simple. Decided to not make counted cross stitch for niece and nephew in California. Maybe next year when my wrists are better. Making three next generation educational quilts where there are young children in the family. That cleaned-off pool table provides room to cut them out.  Had hoped to mail these today, but my recent hospitalization happened. Other gifts have been mailed or are ready to be delivered.

Christmas letters are nowhere done--I have always done these in the past even with my late husband. I have bought Christmas cards and may send some of them. Or really, I think I would just like to call people. Whatcha think? People's preferred means of communication so confusing these days! Facebook. Facebook messaging. Texting. Snail mail/yearly Christmas cards. Phone call. Maybe I will do a combination of contacts.

Breaking News on the School Shooting in CT. 

Hug your family and friends!

Gifts for Caregivers and Those With Alzheimer's

At one time I was a widow and now I am a caregiver. I would rather be a caregiver than a widow, let me tell you. As someone said in our Alzheimer's Association support group yesterday, I am in my marriage for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health until death us do part. When I was a widow, however, someone did say to me, Carol, we want to help, but you will have to tell us how. The pastor sent people to the house to fix things then and I did ask for specific help. When you are a caregiver of a husband who has Alzheimer's, you are grieving the loss of skills and abilities that your husband once had. You are both married and a widow in a sense.

The gifts that I appreciate now are:

• Help with the computer. Thanks, Dave, for always fixing our computers--yes even my husband's so he can see his Facebook photos and I can use the biblical resources on his computer. Thanks for helping me get my Nook hooked up on my computer.
• The Lutheran youth group (not even my church) who will come here to weed.
• My neighbors who notice and mow the yard.
• Bob who put up our Christmas tree.
• People who pray. Revelation 5 says that their prayers before God are like incense in a gold bowl.
• People who e-mail or call and ask what can I do?
• People who post on this blog.

A child's book, Giving, by  Shirley Perich, out of print I think, has a boy who receives $10 from his aunt. He says it will be fun to go shopping when it's all about me. Then his mother in the mall asks him, "How about shopping for Grandma or your best friend instead?" He buys candy for his grandparents--their favorite. He goes home and helps his dad shovel the snow and his mom cook and clean. From Giving:

My day started out boring

But ended up being fun.

Now I'm all tired out

From the things that I've done.

I know what I do

Shows my family I care

It's a pretty good feeling

To give and to share.



I am a guest blogger on another blog--that of Joe whose book I have reviewed here. I just posted (Dec. 14) quotes from Richard Taylor's book,  Alzheimer's from the Inside Out on his blog click here . One quote I will also share here:

I want to encourage, advocate, promote, and persuade you to think about being a "Best Friend" to the loved one in your life who has Alzheimer's disease. p. 241

You can visit

or call and talk with

your friend

who has Alzheimer's.

Tell them your name

so they don't have to ask. 

Post on Joe's blog, also.