More Baths and Less Talk

Disclaimer: This is not a book review about a very funny book where UK author Nick Hornby rattles on and on about the books he buys each month, but then reviews the books he actually reads each month.  

However, the title of the book has everything to do with the topic of this post.

At the end of August our lives were thrown upside down when my husband couldn't walk. You add a disability to Alzheimer's and life indeed is complicated and my stress and ability to cope with life is hammered. When I showed neighbor/caregiver Kenny the title of this book, we both laughed. Kenny has been helping me with my husband's showers and today's shave and shower was the most successful to date. Hubby needs more baths and I need less talk. It's all about the wife nag factor. I know he needs more baths and cranberry juice to avoid another UTI, but I need to shut my mouth about this fact. 

This morning Kenny skillfully suggested that hubby sit on the toilet while he gave him a razor shave. The idea was that hubby is already in the room where he showers. 

Now I was outside enjoying Pharis and his daughter Dezarae landscaping in Area 8 of my project, The House That Cleans Itself. When I left you HERE last May, one of the plants in the front yard was dying. Those were removed and new croton plants have come to our front door, mainly purchased from a country neighbor about two miles away. Stephanie sells wonderful plants cheaply and gives more help than Home Depot. 

Huge Landscaping Improvements Being Undertaken

Pharis has many plans to save this the yard and improve the house, including the roof. How blessed are we!

Meanwhile I popped back inside and Kenny had gotten hubby in the shower without me! 

I said something when I saw this and my husband snapped back. I should have left them alone--not said anything like the book title suggests:

MORE BATHS AND LESS TALKING

In the midst of many hard days, today is so encouraging. Thank you, LORD, for people coming alongside this journey. 

Gardening Reports (Areas 8 and 9)



Flower on one of our three magnolia trees



The last time I posted on the yard was May 11 HERE.  The gardening is for Areas 8 and 9 of The House That Cleans Itself project. Gardening will have to be a continuous project and I will now be moving on to Areas 10 and 11 (my husband's workshop and our garage). I am hoping to find many items from the workshop and the garage for a yard sale the last weekend of  July. Also, because of a minor operation on July 1st, I will not be able to sweat for three weeks and work outside in our Florida heat.

Cleanup and Exercise. We had a pile of lumber in the second backyard on the cement where I am holding that yard sale next month.  In the process of moving the wood to the front yard for Saturday pickup, I fell! I relaxed as I fell and was not hurt. Senior citizens need to relax when they fall so they do not break a bone.  

Instead of using my carts to move boards (how I had fallen), I devised an exercise plan. I continued moving one board at a time and pretended they were weights, moving the board up and down for exercise. I wonder what some neighbors thought as they saw me do this, but I was happy for the exercise, but not the sweat. .

It Takes A Village. I am so impressed with the help we have been receiving. Kenny's brother-in-law, Kevin,  assessed our water softner situation and advised me about calling one of our plumbers. Not only did Kevin do this, but he cleaned the rust off of the wall in our back yard. I was working at the time, but I understand that he had to use acid to get it off. Incredible difference as you see below!



Before



After

I found where the septic tank is located! It is in this corner where the rusty walls had been. I mentioned it to my husband and he said he always knew where the septic tank was. Now I need to know these things and my plan to put a lot of plants here had to be changed since I couldn't dig into the ground. before finding the cement from the septic tank. Instead I bought three huge pots with holes in the bottom from Lowes here in Plant City. I weeded and layered that corner with red mulch and put out the pots of Bengal Tiger Cannas--deciduous perennials with hardiness to 15 degrees F. Kerby's Nursery in Brandon is where I got them.  Kerby's said they need 4-8 hours of sun and this they have. During the morning I can sit in the corner and read while rocking in the swing. Under the gutter there is actually a live plug that works in case I need a light. Or, sometime I could use that plug for music!

Bengal Tiger Canna plants have
orange flowers all summer.

We had 16 bags of Home Depot mulch delivered by Wayne, who does our lawn now. So grateful that he does our lawn and we try to take him to dinner as thanks whenever he mows. To date I have used twelve of the sixteen mulch bags. I also used the mulch under large pots of Umbrella Plants in the front yard by the house.



Front yard

 It takes a village indeed. So thankful for:

* Our backyard neighbors (Kenny's relatives who help willingly)

* Wayne who mows and who delivered the mulch from Home Depot

* Kerby's Nursery

* Home Depot

* Lowes

Meanwhile, folks, please pray for our wonderful caregiver Kenny whom I had interviewed here. He is under the weather now.

Gardening Report on The House That Cleans Itself

It has been two months--TWO MONTHS--since I reported to you on this project and signed off as an "amateur watta-be gardener". I have bravely battled  AREA # 8 and AREA #9 (the backyard) with my never-ending struggle with weeds that I am sure will continue over the summer and into the fall. Weeds are like paper clutter, don't ya think? The broken weed killer spray bottle was returned to Home Depot and exchanged for a new one that works.

I have noticed that one plant flourishes and the same plant does not, thinking I have one green thumb and on the opposite hand a non-green thumb. 

Why is the right pot flower better?

One bush thrives and a nearby one is turning brown maybe due to the watta-be gardener's over-zealous use of the weed killer.

Evergreen

Turning brown

I have encountered the possibility of snakes, poison oak and poison ivy in the backyard. A snake-looking parasite is growing along a branch and I clipped it several places but it isn't seeming to die.

Parasite on branch

Hubby doesn't want his wife to mow lawns and wonderfully a volunteer Wayne has come forward to mow our lawns for free when he is in the neighborhood mowing someone else's yard for pay. I am so appreciative and have found myself cutting branches so his mowing will be easier.


What I did backing up the gas guzzler



Repaired

Wayne also repaired the fence gate that I had backed into and put in a gate to our neighbor's back yard so that Kenny can easily come to our house from where he lives.  Thanks ever so much Wayne! It takes a village to be an Alzheimer's caregiver!

I just asked and a thoughtful friend of a backyard neighbor, Angel, burned the trash pile and it is slowly being converted into regular grass in the back yard. Burn piles will be a thing of the past as I am putting yard banches and clippings out by the curb on Saturdays and one really needs a permit to burn in the country I am told.


Burn pile



Grass growing on old burn pile

I made a list for our outdoors of

what I can do and have started:

1. Put clippings by the street to be picked up on several Saturdays.

2. Weed by the backyard deck.

Old shower stool helps me sit to weed.

3. Put an outdoor rug on that deck. (This rug was used with our popup camper that we no longer own.)

4. Go to Fabric Warehouse to get ideas for uphostery of 4 outdoor chairs used on the deck. They will need to be sprayed black again.

5. Straighten up the potting area and get realistic about my gardening capabilities. Get rid of those extra pots--almost like keeping magazines or fabric I never will quilt with!
  

6. Offered extra chainlink fence material to Sally and Jake for their new dog. Their son came and picked it up.

7. Enjoy my herb garden and find recipes where I can use those fresh herbs.

8.  Make road to the back of the property look neater and keep it maintained.

9. Add items to future yard sale or donate them.  

Problems to live with or wait to solve:

Two-bin compost piles
with cow pasture of neighbors in back

How do I maintain the two-bin compost pile above  that my husband labored at before his Alzheimer's dampened his motivation?  

Small oak trees (that can become large oak trees) seem to want to come forth on fence lines. One oak tree took over an orange tree and both seem to want the same space with the oak tree winning.

I need to hire or enlist someone to do something about the walls stained by my husband's forgetting to turn off the sprinkler all night. (We have iron in our well water used on the garden.)

The metal shed is continuing the go down hill and our dog barks at something maybe living in there.



Houses riding lawn mover and
some other creature--maybe a stray cat



There are two small fountains to get up and running--one in the front yard by the chimney and one in the backyard outside the deck. I bought a fountain pump for one of them that I think needs replacing.

Will continue to work on Areas #8 and #9.  

Any suggestions or volunteers?

Struggling gardener here, 

Carol

Road Trip With an Alzheimer's Husband



Road trip with an Alzheimer's loved one.  

When you travel with them, you notice more how the disease is affecting your loved one. We headed north to visit my younger brother, the rocket scientist, his wife and his extended family in Huntsville, Alabama. We rented a car because it didn't make sense to use our gas guzzler which has over 200,000 miles now.  The trip can take only one day, but with an Alzheimer's husband who would be impatient I drove a day and a half each way staying at a hotel each leg of the trip.

Our dog was dropped off at a kennel and Sally and Jake took us to Avis at the Tampa International Airport. When I was not visible to my husband while he was watching our luggage, it was great to have our friends with him. I went to Avis to arrange for the car. Priceline had reserved a $12 a day car for us. You could fit one piece of luggage in the $12 car and so we were upgraded to a more expensive car ($35 a day)--a Ford Taurus. It took some adjustment for me to use this car, but even my husband liked it. For example, I didn't know how to turn the volume down at first on the trip to Huntsville and how to plug in my iPhone for our playlists. When it came to buying gas, I had to have help.

On the way to Huntsville I entertained my hubby by asking him to shell peanuts for me. We also talked and I was able to use playlists on my iPhone. On the return trip, however, I knew how to turn the volume down and use the plug in for the iPhone thanks to the smarts of my sister-in-law. We listened to a variety of music on the radio and on my playlists, and talked repeatedly about our dog Ziggy. I let my husband choose the subject of conversation because it works out the best this way and I don't get his comments--Carol, you aren't making sense.

While at my brother and sister-in-law's home, we also spent three evenings with my niece and nephew and their families including three delightful children. We went to Unclaimed Baggage in Scottsborough where I spent a total of $10.44 on a dress and a scarf. We saw the movie "Quartet".

Hubby had many repeated questions for me while we were gone:

1. Are we in a hotel? (We stayed at my brother's home.)
2. What are we doing here?
3. Is our dog in the kennel?
4. What does our home look like?
5. When are we going home?

Questions such as these, asked over and over, are pretty standard for this stage of Alzheimer's, and hubby didn't have his printed schedule on the trip, because he would be with me and I wasn't sure what would happen each day.

My rocket scientist brother works for a subcontractor at the large Redstone Arsenal and on Saturday he took us to see the nicknamed "Pentagon South" building he is moving into. We had to show IDs to get through the gate to the Arsenal and hubby and I handed my brother our driver's licenses. When It came time to get give our IDs at the gate, my brother could not find the driver's licenses with a thorough search of the car. Now hubby is so good at putting things away. Finally hubby checked his wallet and sure enough both of our driver's licenses were here! We all laughed including hubby, who still has his license for identification but chooes not to drive any more.  

Hubby lost his cell phone at a mall and security did see a local relative to call, my sister-in-law, called her and my brother went to get that cell phone. On the trip back home while I stopped at MacDonalds to get hubby to take his pills with food, I went to the rental car to get something and hubby forgot where I was. He used his cell phone to call me, getting my sister-in-law instead of me. She told him I must be around there somewhere. He must just press TALK when he calls me and usually I am the last number, although this time it was the sister-in-law.

At my brother's home I made hubby's coconut oil/dark chocolate fudge and I realize it does calm him down. I just packed coconut oil, dark chocolate and two ice cube trays and then made it at our destination as I have described on this blog.

As we traveled in Alabama I noticed signs of recession, with shops closed. However new Dollar General appeared in small towns along HYW 231.



Not open

Other changes. The price of gas dropped 20 cents as we entered Alabama. On the way home it was even 2 cents lower than that until we got to Florida. None of this phased hubby. Place as well as time has less meaning for him.  Alabama has radio and signs protecting drivers from distracted driving such as texting while driving, whereas Florida's signs emphasize the "Move Over Law" protecting officers parked by the side of the road.



Alabama Choleus, herbs, Breathless Blush Euyphorbia, and Hot Water Ble Lobelia

One place that was not closed was Pat's Secret Garden in North Ozark, Alabama. I have noticed and stopped at this garden shop for years on my travels to Alabama from Florida and it didn't show signs of slowing down at all and I bought the above plants. Pat herself told me to put the plants I purchased in the trunk and a day later when we arrived home they were fine, ready for my areas 8 and 9 projects at our home. Pat has a secret garden open April 15th to May 24th in case you are in the neighborhood.

Getting home we first picked up the dog, drove home and unpacked. Sally and Jake came over. Jake spent time with hubby while Sally followed me to the airport to turn in my Priceline "bargain" rental that totaled $344 including taxes and other charges for six days; then Sally brought me home while we talked for the whole ride about our husbands and the past six days we both experienced.  

Highlights of the trip included relaxed time chatting with family, going to church, beating my rocket scientist brother at Checkers at Cracker Barrel restaurant, and having raps videotaped by the niece and nephew who say they are putting it on YouTube under a rapper name they have chosen for me.

Hubby seems very contented at home now. Things are predictable to him and hubby is more predictable to me. So glad I got to see family and that we took this trip.

Beginning Area #8 of The House That Cleans Itself

He who gathers in summer is a wise son;

He who sleeps in harvest is a son who causes shame.  Proverbs 10:5 

If it is the problem of paper clutter inside the house, it is the problem of weeds in the front of the house. Many years my husband and I would get control of the weeds, and then those weeds would take over again. Now he only mows the grass on occasion and the lawn mower is broken. I am concerned about the front yard and my abilities to conquer the weeds.

This would be taken over by weeds by summer.

Last summer I took up the scalloped bricks seen above. I started to think about what do do here. Grow grass seemed to be the solution.

Jake took out the black edging thing. (I do not have proper names for gardening products, folks.) Hubby threw it over the fence into a pasture for cows (I wrote about his deed here) and I have to retrieve it somehow and bag it so the trash people actually take it.

Now I am armed with weed control and new strategies. Fifteen minutes a day on weeds so they don't take over the front yard again another year. But not to be. Alas, I get a new small spray can for weed killer, but can't make this small one work or the other two I found in the garage.

Weed busters?

Pots. Make vignettes or yard art and pots of shrubs rather than even have flower beds I'm thinking.

Lowered shower bench helps gardening

In the process I break two pots, but dig up plants to use where I can. 



Repotted, but not sure it will last



Dug up and repotted

 

Forget flower beds--have pots I am thinking

The sad one above (third from left) is what I dug up to replant. A neighbor didn't know that is was a shrub because he was mowing all the weeds.

All of this seems hopeless to me, as hopeless as entering a writing contest about guns which actually came in my e-mail--got to be a joke. Yes--writing. No--guns. Yes--gardening. No--weeds.

But now the weeds will grow because I wasn't able to spray with any of these contraptions! Martha Stewart or someone! Where are you when I need you!

So much of gardening is above my pay grade and obviously I need help and will have to learn to ask for help. With carpal tunnel I cannot spend hours pulling weeks and my quick fix spraying isn't working yet. I am afraid the weeds will again take over our front yard!

Amateur wanta-be gardener signing off here,

Carol