Cataract Eye Surgery and a Dementia Test for Me

Two Wednesdays. No three Wednesdays because the first Wednesday I forgot and had a taste of a banana in the morning before I realized I wasn't supposed to eat and maybe only take a pill with a sip of water. I flunked.

Two days of preparation with eye drops. A cell phone with an alarm comes in SO handy.

My patient brother was to drive me again on the second Wednesday. His wife picked me up while he was at bridge. I was pushed to her car in front of the building I got in and she handed me glasses to wear. I was wearing a shield over my right eye. When I got home I rested and looked at the instructions for eye drops. Didn't think I needed the patch for Wednesday night choir practice. I love the music and although I didn't enter in fully with the singing, I was getting ready for Sundays.

I wouldn't be able to drive there, so as usual for Wednesday night I got picked up and brought home. On the way home, I looked with  just that left eye that had the surgery and there were rays proceeding out of the lights. However, when I looked with my right eye, there were no rays proceeding out of the same lights.

Midday I saw my eye doctor. I told him about the no rays in the right eye. He also was pleased with the machine tests that his assistant did.

There are a couple of typos in my book that perhaps might not have happened if I wasn't going through eye surgery, but life doesn't have to be perfect!

Stress! It felt like I was called to the boss's office!  My family confronted me in December about my poor night driving! It was a meeting at my brother's house with basically three adults, and not with my niece and her friend who had filed the family complaint. I admitted that night driving was hard and it seemed to me that Huntsville had poor street lights. I agreed to stop driving at night and others were to drive me. I would look into cataract surgery. Paula drove me Monday night. Gladys or her husband Charlie drove me to choir practice Wednesday night.

Stress! Car trouble and finances to buy a new car!

Stress! Mice in my apartment that I wrote about in January.

Stress! Dog Ziggy has a tumor in his spleen and I can have it removed, or his health will go downhill!

Stress! One Friday morning I just canceled substitute teaching. I hadn't been sleeping and was sure I had cancer to something. I went to my doctor's office without an appointment. They scheduled an appointment for me later and included the test to see if I have Alzheimer’s! Well I don't have it, but because of the stress, I tested positive. This hurt so much to hear the nurse say "MCI or dementia." She didn't know I was coming out with a book about that subject! If this were true, my family would have a lot on their plate with me!

As it says in that book, however, depression can cause false results with that test and really an individual needs a proper diagnosis with a neurologist and a MRI test which my late husband had.

Back to the cataract eye surgery. I love that I had it done and I can see at night. I can see bright, beautiful colors, and, LOL, I can see dust in my apartment! Now I can wear eye makeup and don't look so plain.

A week later after the right eye was done, I could drive at night! The eye doctor was very pleased. For my first night of night driving I went to a calligraphy class for modern calligraphy instruction--the calligraphy design on my book for "Getting Through the" in the title. Modern Calligraphy--such a great new hobby with brushes.

It has been suggested that as we age we learn new things. Well I am learning the alto part in my church choir and now I am learning a new brush calligraphy design. And I can drive at night!

Virginia Turns 99 Today

Sunday birthday cake with our church bunch

Some of her friends

We celebrated after church on Sunday at Grandmother's House Restaurant.

The seniors at church got
her a special cushion
for her wheel chair.

 






















She has a great sense of humor. The birthday card I got her says that all our friends are jealous of how we look at our ages; that card opens and you hear music--perfect for her good hearing. She laughs at this.  Together we get along.  I tell her I don't hear well (I have hearing aids) and she doesn't see well. We make one person. We have both buried two husbands and have learned a lot about each other. 

Virginia visited by
Choir Director Bess. 

She sang in the choir for 60 years and when I visit her, we choose a hymn she knows by heart for the weekly Praise and Prayer Meeting held at the residence where she lives.  She used to cook dinner at her home for the Praise and Prayer Meeting. That whole prayer meeting moved to Huntsville Health and Rehab Center when she had to move there! 

She is a proper lady. She regularly gets out with a driver for her car. She goes to a church Bible study and Sunday services. She gets her hair and nails done.  December of 2015 when I first moved to Huntsville, we went to the Living Christmas Tree at First Baptist. She stood for the Hallelujah Chorus pulling herself up with the bench in front of her. 

Through her I have learned to love old hymns and value taking time to pray for one another. We adopted each other.

Happy Birthday, Virginia!

I want to be like you when I am 99. 

* How would the LORD get me to my church's prayer meeting? I broke my two feet and ended up there for three weeks (what my insurance covered).  Now I keep going. 

Celebrating Being Old

The six weeks of Hospice care for my husband before his death on June 23rd saw my husband aging each day--looking older than his 76 years. 

A birthday was coming up for me also, and my husband died two days before I turned seventy. I just seem to never celebrate those decades appropriately and this year my husband had died and couldn't celebrate with me. 

When I was a widow the first time and turned 50, the gentleman I was dating didn't get it right. Then I thought that when I turned 60 I should celebrate at a Plant City tea room because my husband was so busy working. This was before dementia and I didn't know our friends Sally and Jake. The tea room event never was pulled off even though I hinted to friends.  

However, Sally got this decade birthday right as she planned a 70th b.d. luncheon at her home. It was so lovely. What a thoughtful friend Sally is! The guests that came brought two cards, as it turned out--a birthday card and a sympathy card. 

I am at the head of the table. 

That day Jake was at the Senior Center, and although he had been going there with my husband, he became accustomed to going there by himself as we all saw hubby going downhill. Six weeks later  Jake asked, "So did your husband actually die?" They were such good buddies. Life goes on even if memories fade. Part of my grief is that Jake doesn't have his buddy. 

I started a Pinterest board on aging.* Here are some pins you might enjoy.

We should take the best of every age.  Hey, folks, I rap. I plan to write more raps and get YouTube figured out.  I am working on an Ed.D. in counseling. 

Have a reason to laugh.

Laugh at our memory.

Laugh at our eyesight.

Laugh at our teeth. 

But above all, be spontaneous, creative and have fun.

* Click on the bottom of this blog (after the July 16 post) for Follow Me on Pinterest. 

The Girl With No Eyebrows

I have never really had eyebrows. This picture of me at a young age is cute for sure. But where are the eyebrows? Also, the photographic studios painted my eyes blue and I grew up thinking my eyes were blue. It was not until I went to a color consultant in California in the 1970s that I even realized I had green eyes and that I am a "spring". That color consultant has shaped what colors and patterns I wear for 40  plus years, but no one, no one, has really helped me with my eyebrows. Oh I have heard to not use pencil--use powder so it will look more natural. NATURAL! EEK! By the end of the day NO EYEBROWS! NADA! I am self-conscious about those eyebrows!

Eyebrows. Why am I writing about this on a blog about caregiving? Yes, for sure I do write about the my dear husband's dementia and how well he is doing after almost five years with the disease. But I also write here about the process of aging, downsizing with the book The House That Cleans Itself, and really what can be done to simplify life in the senior years. I cannot turn back the hands of time, but maybe, just maybe, I can be more sympathetic with the aging me I see in the mirror. Maybe I can take less time on makeup and look pretty as well. Maybe this will happen when I

Have my eyebrows done

with permanent makeup!

Years ago when I taught fifth grade in California one girl came up to me and asked me how old I was when I got my ears pierced, hoping I would say "ten" and she could press her case with her mom. My answer of  "twenty-three" disappointed her. I was always sensible for years and years and years. I was always cautious in dating and only married for the first time at age forty, became a widow and then eight years later married my current husband, an attentive and Christian gentleman. But now--

HAS THE OLD LADY
GONE OFF HER ROCKER!

Good gracious gravy! I think I am so vain and silly about this. But you have to understand, folks. If I were to use tweezers I couldn't find the blond hair to pluck out to shape those eyebrows. Eyebrow powder does fall off by the end of the day. At times I get these eyebrows waxed, but why even do that! The powder will just fall off!

The driver's license I have been stuck

with for five years has no eyebrows!

I have looked so old lately with bags under the eyes because of no thyroid pills for five weeks. Horrible. Doesn't this picture gross you all out. I almost wasn't going to put it here.


Before eyes

 I started thinking about what if I had to go to the hospital again. Or, what if people looked at the above eyebrows in a casket. Would the mortician know how to fix my eyebrows so people would recognize me and say she looks peaceful? How can I grow old gracefully?

Better after consultation
and taking thyroid pills again



Lakeland, Florida Salon

Hubby went with me to the eyebrow consultation on my birthday last week. We both liked how my eyebrows looked as Betty drew color on manually and decided the exact color and shape. All day long those eyebrows looked good and so did my eyebrows on my birthday picture with my husband taken at Grillsmith restaurant that night. Those eyebrows are going to camouflage a lot of aging and they move with my expressions. People will see eyebrows and green eyes and be distracted by the aging me. My eyes will speak, at least this is my plan.

The day after my birthday I went to my doctor and everything checks out fine. She didn't seem concerned about the 40 day wait for my thyroid biopsy. She didn't seem concerned about my eyebrows getting permanent color. I will just have to be careful to not let my forehead get an infection, she said. No sweating and no yard work for three weeks. Be careful when I wash my hair, etc.

Betty's magic is actually permanent makeup with 100% vegetable dye. It was wonderful to be pampered and really was not painful. I had asked my hairdresser Anne what I will look like if I were to go to Toastmasters tonight and she had replied: You might look a little swollen and they will be darker than you'll want, but after they heal they lighten. You may look a little strange, but you can pull it off.

A little strange at Toastmasters? I can handle that?

Yes, I thought, the lady who told her Toastmasters club about the messes in her home with illustrated pictures can handle an eyebrow transition and looking a little strange.

Before Toastmasters tonight Hubby and I went to Texas Roadhouse in Lakeland for dinner.*  When we left the restaurant, it was raining and I wasn't supposed to get my eyebrows wet! On the way to Toastmasters my forehead itched and I scratched!  But Betty had given me antibiotic ointment to put on my eyebrows tonight and I am not expecting a problem.

The theme at Toastmasters for the evening was "summer adventure". I took that summer adventure to Toastmasters! Really people didn't notice my eyebrows. Silly me! At least I don't have to work in the yard for three weeks because sweat would not help the healing and I might get an infection. Eccentric! That's what you call us old gals.  I now qualify as the old biddy with painted eyebrows! Bring on that Red Hat Society.

I do thank the LORD for a loving husband who put up with this fetish of mine and who is still able to do things with me. Next project? Work at not being so self-conscious about myself and deal with aging.

* See our pictures at Texas Roadhouse on this blog's Facebook page.

50 Lessons from Old People

To celebrate growing older, Regina Brett (now over 90)  once wrote the 45 lessons below that life taught her. She also added friends are the family that you choose. Some of those lessons are too late for me now. However at age 67 I am adding # 46-50, just for good measure.
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Change the way you think.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Release your children when they become adults; its their life now.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't mess up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Just because you believe you are right, doesn't mean you are. Keep an open mind.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. Your job is to love your children, not choose who they should love.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative--dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield..
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

ADDED BY CAROL

46. This life is not all. We have eternity and need to put that in perspective. (like # 26 and #42)
47. Coconut oil is good for a lot that ails ya.
48. Stop kvetching. Rejoice.
49. Meditate on Scripture and good books and pray about every little thing.
50. Enjoy your holiday for what it is. It doesn't have to be perfect.