Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Discombobulated With Caregiver Stress

Maybe I was a scatterbrain before becoming a caregiver. An Alzheimer's counselor even told me   blogging helps my stress. Here is my confession about my weaknesses and my often befuddled state. LORD HELP ME!

When you are a caregiver, you have stress. Could that explain why I cut my finger with Chef's Magic, went through the garage ceiling and accidentally swallowed my husband's pills and ended up in the hospital--all reported for the world to see on this blog!! Then there was the lost wallet on Good Friday in April--never found it to this day.

And clutter? Apparently you have to keep at this clutter problem. The thing is we have a great den with a pool table. Things get put on that pool table.  Put your supplies where your work is, according to organizational experts such as Mindy whose book I reviewed here. So cloth scrap material is by the sewing machine in that den. Now I am trying to sew a gift to be thoughtful and to save money and I need that pool table with its paper clutter cleaned off so I can cut out the gift. Shame on me! Too much clutter! Well I can't substitute teach this summer, so the opportunity to clean it off is here.  

Stress Indicators Recently?         

My digital camera went missing.  I didn't panic because I can take pictures with the iPhone. What is important is my husband. My digital camera was found in a box in the car.

My iPod went missing. I like my old iPod because I can get a phone call on my iPhone and turn it off and take the phone call or have them both on at the same time. I didn't panic about the iPod loss because I can listen to my podcasts, especially my Daily Audio Bible, on the iTunes on the computer. What is important is my husband and my being there for him. Sure enough that iPod showed up. It was right by the den's copy machine--camouflaged dark on the dark surface.

My keys to the DUI office went missing last Saturday. After several calls during the DUI break to get someone to the rescue, they were in the bottom of my purse! Does everyone just think I am flakey or what! Could it be that--

You work on organization all your life?! 

Today I have my husband at home and that is what is important. I am very pleased about what IS important. I am there for my husband who trusts me--a relationship we have built over our 14 years of marriage. The heart of her husband safely trust her it says Proverbs 31. Rather than my asking him,  he tells me if he is wet and I can change his adult diaper now in the bed--I am a skilled albeit stressed and befuddled caregiver. 

Chalk my scatterbrain up to caregiver stress or a character flaw, perhaps.  One day I want to get organized, but that day is yet to come.



  1. HI Carol.. boy one thing keeps sticking out to me. I used to make gifts a lot--still make a few but not as much as I used to. I found that with the other challenges I have it just costs too much for me make things sometimes. Had to close my etsy shop for a few months during the height of wedding season.. but I just could not function adding that to my day. :) Maybe this is the wrong time for it? maybe just leave those papers on the table, send a card, and put your feet up a little so you have the continued strength to do the thing you are most called to do now? just a thought--hope its useful and not just annoying. Mary

    1. Hey, Mary,
      I think I will take you up on this. I feel like a nap.

  2. I do think I have read that stress definitely does play havoc on one's memory (depression too, watch to make sure you don't slip into it with the care giving responsibilities you have). I think you'll need to prioritize what you want to get accomplished and realize it is almost like having a newborn (although I realize you didn't have kids) in that you have to kind of go with their schedule rather than any schedule you might think you can incorporate. Set small goals. One stack of papers to go through, etc. Might make progress that way.


    1. Solid advice, Betty. Thanks. I guess cannot change hubby's going downhill, but I can flow with what's happening and forgive myself for not being on par.

  3. Carol: Thank you for being so honest. Too often as caregivers we feel like we have to put on some invisible armor or mask that says to the world we've got it all under control and we've got it together when in reality inside we feel like we are falling apart. I have a saying that I tell myself and it is that you don't have to be a saint to be someone's hero...I am sure you are your husbands hero everyday. Thank you

    1. Myka, am I a hero? An honest one is the best, right?!

      I wouldn't be able to be so honest without my faith. Last night the 4 am pills and feeding of hubby was horrible. Hubby spilled Boost and the dog started licking it, and he moaned for at least an hour until the pain meds kicked in. This morning I am weary, but I read some wonderful Scripture from Psalm 130:1-4 that is here:

      "Out of the depths I have cried to You, O LORD;
      Lord hear my voice!
      Let Your ears be attentive
      To the voice of my supplications.
      If You, LORD, should mark iniquities,
      O LORD, who could stand?
      But there is forgiveness with You,
      That You may be feared."

      Isn't that great! The LORD, in fact, is my hero, my salvation.

  4. I've been working on the skill of organization for many years and still have not perfected it. I'm okay with that. :-)

    I've heard many times that a busy life can contribute to forgetfulness because your brain is distracted with so many things.

    You're right... your husband is home with you and THAT is what is important.

    1. It's a skill--is that what it is?! Perfection is certainly out the window here these days!

      Just going to put most of the stuff on the pool table in a big box so I have a pool table before out-of-town family come on Saturday. They are coming to see my husband and that is what is important. Then when I can't find something, I can look in that box perhaps!

    2. Nobody played pool, and my husband didn't recognize them it was reported to me.