Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Feeling Normal

 “You can only perceive real beauty in a person
as they get older.” ~~ Anouk Aimee

I asked my husband if he enjoys retirement. He said yes. I love him so much. He has great integrity and character. He doesn't let things bother him that might bother me.  Thank you, Lord, for this wonderful husband.

I asked him if he knew he had dementia or Alzheimer's. He said he feels functionally normal. Are you in a fog? No. My husband is in denial. Early on when I started this blog I was in denial. I had blind faith that coconut oil would help. Yes it has helped as has his Alzheimer's medicine. He would be so much worse off it he had not had that medicine and oil according to the USF Byrd Alzheimer's Institute.

Every once in a while he asks me a question such as is he is 72. I say yes. See, I am not losing my memory, he retorts. I think this depends on the time of the day, and he possibly has Sundowner's Syndrome--but more on that later. He does not remember all the things I tell him verbally. If I write it down, he might not remember to read that note. Everyone forgets as he gets older--this is normal, he says.  

He wears that medical alert bracelet that has "memory" stamped on the other side of it--keeps it on in the shower, but remembers to take off his watch before his shower. His watch tells him the date--October 12 and the day of the week, Tuesday. The calendar tells him where I am and he crosses off the date when I come home. He takes his blood pressure regularly and keeps asking me what is normal. He records his blood pressure. He often makes the bed--his side and even mine.

We talk about his driving test tomorrow. I will sue if they don't let me drive, he says. I let him drive last night when we went to Lakeland to my publishers to pick up more books for the book signing in November. I had him drive this morning also--both times with me in the car. Like a great husband and companion he wants to be with me--doing anything.
DH  vacuums, cleans the carpet and mows the grass--all things he has done the ten years we have been married. He has his same humor. He blows the paper cover off the straw at me as he prepares to drink his ice tea. A year ago he made valuable suggestion on my book before it was published. He loves to watch old movies. He only reads to read a hymn and the last several months we sit down in church usually rather than stand when we sing the hymn. We hear Scripture read at home or in the car. He prays beautiful prayers, or the simple table grace prayer that I can recite from memory. Of course he feels normal. He has a loving wife and an affectionate dog and a roof over his head.

Rebellion. He apparently went down to Block Buster Video recently and bought some 99 cent movies that I added to his list of movies--not good choices, but he felt free to buy them with the little cash he carries in his wallet. Wasn't supposed to drive until we know the results of that test tomorrow and the note in his car says that. I feel for him. I let him drive last night and this morning with me in the car. I want him to feel normal--that he is OK. Don't we all want our loved ones to feel OK?!

I am so glad he is happy.

To be continued. . .

About five hours later. How I had looked forward to this afternoon!  Jake and DH were to play pool and chat while Sally and I went to the Alzheimer's support group and I was going to report on that here. However when Jake and Sally came over, suddenly I had been in our master bedroom barfing.  My blouse was wet, I was hot, and I continued to vomit. I had no presence of mind to call and cancel. They chatted for a while in the family room and took a rain check on our date.

About an hour later DH was instructed to bring my purse with my cell phone. I used my cell phone to get the number to the pet groomers so DH could call to see if  our dog was ready at the groomers. The front door closed as I heard DH say he was taking his car to get our dog. Soon he was back in the house looking for the global navigational device plugged into his computer. He found the address on the Garmin GNP, punched it in and went to rescue our dog. When they returned I found hubby trying to put his cell phone into the GNP chord by his computer. I reminded him that his cell phone recharger was in our bedroom and that "Miss Garmin" needed to be plugged in at his computer.

I am starting to feel normal.


  1. I am soooooo sorry, this sounds like a terrible afternoon, that was suppose to be fun and relaxing. However, I'm glad to hear that it most likely has turned out okay.
    Minute by minute is the only way to live.....Alzheimer's or not.
    Hugs to you!!!

  2. :-(
    Some days are diamonds, some days are stone....
    Prayed for you just now as I have read this and hope you are feeling better. All the best with the driving testing. Hope hubby can handle whatever the outcome is.

  3. So sorry to hear about yesterday afternoon and how it turned out. I am anxious to hear how today went for you both. I pray God will provide just what you need to bounce back from whatever the results are today.

  4. Praying for much grace for you and your DH! It must be so hard to come to grips with what he may lose or be losing. Was just thumbing through Jim Elliot's (the well-known missionary who was speared to death in Ecuador in the 1950s) journal, Shadow of the Almighty, which I read awhile back and happened across his thoughts on "loss". He said this: "But let us not forget--that loss is imagined, not real...What is, is actual--what might be simply is not, and I must not therefore query God as though He robbed me--of things that are not. Further, the things that are belong to us, and they are good, God-given, and enriched. Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living!"