New Normal in Caregiving Is Hard

This link Seven Stages from The Alzheimer's Reading Room describes the "new normal" stage that my husband is slinking into--perhaps stage five of seven. Every care receiver is different. My husband is no exception. He is different from other sufferers, but like them is trying to feel normal even as he:

• Struggles to express himself with the correct words. I have to
  
  stop my busy pace and concentrate on what he may be trying to say. 
• Wants to say "no" instead of "yes". I am so glad for the good routines established that keep things as "normal" as they can be. Taking morning pills with Kenny is a routine that works. Taking evening pills with me at 8 pm is a routine that works. Waking hubby up at 4 am for a pain pill works, in that I put it in his mouth and he slightly raises his head to swallow water and then goes back to sleep. 
• Has diminished taste buds and interest in food. Consequently I try to find what food will work for him. Fortunately I can give him coconut oil with that dark chocolate. 
• Has less knowledge of time.
• Lights up when I come home.

In contrast I, the caregiver/lovegiver for my husband:

• Struggle to say the right words to my husband without appearing to nag, without giving too much information in what I say. It is quite a discipline to say one thought at a time. 
• Have to say "yes" to more responsibility and yet am simplifying and saying "no" to perfectionism and expectations.
• Have more knowledge of time, trying to multitask, and yet fearing caregiver burnout.
• Light up when I see him, yet do not feel "at home" at our home. Frankly, when I am teaching I feel more normal--I work for respite perhaps and also income. 

My new normal includes writing a dissertation in my "spare" time which often is while substitute teaching in good classes or early in the morning while hubby is sleeping. Currently I am writing the chapter on stress and depression and fighting both stress and depression personally. Time to book an appointment with the counselor. Time for prayer and meditating on God's Word. 

Graphics from Pinterest.