Do Not Go Gently

Famous lines from Dylan Thomas poem

Do not go gently into that good night. . . Rage, rage against the dying light.

I find my husband actively combating his dementia. He has a small notebook where we write down procedures such has how to use the three remote controls for TV, DVD and VCR, how to use the GNP unit, how to use the cell phone. He writes on the four switch light switch plate--garage, dining room, family room and kitchen. Signs have appeared on the recyclable bins. This minimizes his frustration.

Frustration does come, however. Yesterday he couldn't find his keys. We couldn't leave the house until he found them, even though we could have used my keys.

We did find them in time to leave. We had such an enjoyable day in Orlando. We had one event in the morning and then went to an outlet mall and Downtown Disney. The last of the big spenders since we are on a tight budget we enjoyed just shopping and seeing the crowds. We had lunch, bought a gift for a grandchild and then had hot cocoa. Unhurried the day. We stopped on the way home at Home Depot for bird feed and Publix for a few groceries.

Earlier in the week we did errands before my dental appointment. He enjoys being retired and I enjoy having my husband to pal around with! Whereas last summer trips of any sort of trip were stressful for him and he couldn't wait to get home, since coconut oil I find him "not going gently into the night."

Higher Memory Score Again

One thing I will never forget about 2009 is living with my husband's dementia, deciding to become the best wife/caregiver I can be under the circumstances,  and learning all I could about dementia. I chronicled this effort on this blog. Here is a summary of his memory tests which are the usual indicator of problems.

• In December of 2007 my husband scored 29/30. I suspected a problem, but the doctor didn’t.

• In December of 2008 he scored 22/30 and his doctor told him point blank he has dementia. Namenda and the Exelon patch were prescribed.  We don't know what kind of dementia he has, but he definitely has short-term memory and life is frustrating to him often.

• In June of 2009, by a comment someone made to me, I started researching coconut oil and how it can help people with dementia. Immediately I incorporated it into his diet.

• In September of 2009 he scored 23/30, going up a point!

• Yesterday, January 8, 2010 he scored 24/30, going up yet another point!

Coconut Oil New Year's Recipes

There is a Southern tradition to have greens and black-eyed peas on New Year's Day. During the war between the northern and southern states well over a hundred years ago, the Union officers would raid homes and take the food they wanted, so the story goes, and leave "worthless" food such black-eyed peas and collard greens. Since then a New Year's meal with black-eyed peas represents coins and the greens represent dollars--prosperity wished for the new year, and remembrance of that war.

So to all who read this blog, happy 2010 and here are my adapted recipes for January 1, 2011. I put coconut oil in the recipes.

Hoppin' Black-Eyes Peas

2 tablespoons coconut oil
1 cup chopped smoked ham
1 medium onion, chopped
24 oz. (2 containers) of Marjon Quick Cook Blackeye Peas
one 14 oz. can diced tomatoes with green chiles, undrained
one 15 oz. can whole corn kernels, undrained
one tablespoon of sugar

Saute ham and onion in coconut oil. Add other ingredients and cover, reducing heat. Cook at least 15 minutes, stirring occastionally. Serve over Garlic Baked Grits.

Garlic Baked Grits, adapted from JM

1 cup uncooked grits

2 eggs, slightly beaten

1/4 cup butter

1/4 cup coconut oil

6 oz. pasturized process cheese food with garlic, cubed

1 tablespoon Emeril's'Original Essence or dash of garlic salt
Cook grits in water according to package diections. Stir small amount of hot grits into eggs; add egg mixture to remainder of grits. Stir in butter, coconut oil, cheese and seasonng. Spoon mixture into a greased 2 quart casserole. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour.

Hot Wilted Greens adapted from www.seasonalchef.com/greens.htm

3 pieces of bacon

1 tablespoon coconut oil

1 tablespoon Emeril's Original Essence or one large clove garlic, minced

1 medium sweet red onion, chopped

3 tablespoons chicken broth or stock

2 tablespoons balsamic winegar

16 oz. washed mustard greens*

1/4 cup toasted almonds or pecans

Cook bacon until crispy. Remove and drain on paper towels. Crumble and reserve. Add coconut oil, seasoning and onions to bacon drippings and heat until onions are softened. Stir in chicken stock and vinegar. Add greens and mix, stir-frying until the leaves are coated. Cover and cook until the leaves are wilted. Top with crumbled bacon and chopped nuts.

*Note: you can use collards, arugula or endive instead of mustard greens. My husband doesn't like collards and I'm not quite used to them.

Fading Memories

• Names of family my husband will see this Christmas are hard for him to recall.
• A young lady in our church delivered her first born several weeks ago. That infant was being held nearby. My husband asked when the baby was due.
• He keeps accusing me of moving the laundry basket from the laundry room back to the bedroom before I have laundered the clothes. The real truth is that laundry basket fills up again.
• The first Christmas party we hosted when it came time for him to pray he mentioned "Thanksgiving". I wondered what the guests thought.
• He does try to compensate. For our neighborhood Christmas party I made him an index card with names of neighbors. He likes those index cards that keep him informed.
• Can he find the car when he goes on an errand by himself? When I asked him this, he said that he forgets to think about it when he parks the car and sometimes has to look around. Fortunately his SUV sticks out. About six months before he retired he had trouble finding his car after work and I was summoned by cell phone to help him.

Husband Gets the Global Navigational System

Friday--GNS is programmed for hubby. When he leaves the house, he says "Okay, where am I going again?" He calls on the way and asks what is he doing?

"Practice run, sweetheart," I say.

He comes back to the house and we try it again. It works this time! He makes it to downtown Plant City and home again quite proud of himself. He loves this device. We call the lady who speaks on the GNS "Miss Garmin".

Monday, three days later. I will be gone all day and not able to media mail a book at the post office. I arrange for him to do this. He had forgotten when I called at noon. He is able to make it to the post office and back home. This time he only has to call my cell once.

Tuesday. The lawn repair shop calls while I am gone. It is complicated to get there and back. My sweetheart hitches up the trailer and uses "Miss Garmin" to go get it and return home. I call him during the day and he doesn't mention that he has retrieved the riding lawn mower. When I return home the front lawn has been mowed!

Pumpkin Coconut Oil Stew

(Oatmeal is standard fair for breakfast and I put coconut oil in it. My big container of Tropical Traditions Virgin Coconut Oil is pictured. )




Cut up pumpkin and fill crock pot as pictured. Add:

• Water
• Can of diced tomatoes
• 2 T. allspice
• 3/4 cup onion soup mix
• 1/2 cup coconut oil

Cook on high in crock pot for four hours. It passed the husband test.

Soul and Spirit in Another Land

My husband still has humor. I was disturbed that he and my pastor threw things at each other while he pastor was teaching an afternoon class yesterday. Then I became grateful that my husband can still show humor and interact with others. Furthermore my pastor took the lead in the chinanagans with my husband. I want to concentrate on what he can do--play pool with him, go on outings. Laugh.

Linda Fisher writes a blog noted here under links. Mrs. Fisher has been there as her husband Jim has passed away after his battle with Alzheimer's. She mentions a book by Bell and Toxel, The Best Friend's Approach Alzheimer's Care. Linda writes:

It is important to minister to the soul and spirit as well as the physical needs when a person faces the challenges of dementia. Bell and Troxel liken Alzheimer’s disease to a long trip in a foreign land where we can’t speak the language, know the customs, or understand how to use the phone. When caring for a person with dementia we must concentrate on what they can do rather than what they cannot do. Can they still enjoy a walk? A drive? A cup of coffee where they can watch birds gather at a feeder?

Interest in Games

My dear husband participated in a game this afternoon at church for our Reformation Party.

When we got home we played three games of pool. I am not as skilled as he is, but I finally won a game at the end. He was very pleased with me and I am very pleased he likes to play games now. We will try to play some other games--excellent for his reasoning I am thinking.

When he retired, he wasn't interested. Now with four months of coconut oil he is interested in a lot. Every day he works in the yard also.

The Struggles of Someone With Dementia

I told my sweetheart twice that I would be home between 8 and 9 PM on Wednesday. I was home as expected by what I had told him, but I had not written the time on the calendar. Then I forgot to turn my cell phone back on and when I finally did there were frantic messages there left on that cell phone every two minutes! Apparently even the dog was waiting by the living room window for me. I must remember to write things on the calendar.

I make sense of life for my husband. When I don't make sense to him it is frustrating for both of us.

Lately my husband has been going to his computer. Maybe this is a good sign as he exhibited little interest in his computer in previous months. When he is interested in going to a movie, he goes to that link; then he is often disappointed when we go to the movie he selected. The movie doesn't make sense in the end to him. He prefers old movies on TV I believe.

Who is our plumber? he wanted to know as he looked on his computer. He used to handle all that information and now I do--the woman not trained for such situations. I made no sense to him about plumbers--I couldn't give him one name of a plumber. He was extremely frustrated that I didn't know. I did know the carpenter, the electrician and the vacuum cleaner repairman as I have dealt with them in the last two years. But plumber? There are a half a dozen plumbers in the Outlook on his computer! He scolded me that I was supposed to know. Life is confusing for him, just when I think he has stabilized or made a little progress because of coconut oil.

My sweetheart was barbecuing outside the other night. The Webber grill fell down and the steak fell on the ground. Today it is on its legs again, but he couldn't explain why or what happened.

I want to learn to use the riding lawn mower in case one day he can't use it. However, I don't want to take his capabilities away from him. He is very proud of using it to mow our front lawn and two back yard lawns. Each day he does something in the garden and it is starting to show.

Doctor Visit--Coconut Oil Look Promising

When my husband went to his doctor this week, she was very pleased. His blood pressure was the lowest she has seen. He took the memory test and scored a whole point better than he did last December. His dementia is not making him go downhill at all! I think the difference is the coconut oil.

I have seen he has more initiative lately. He has completed two carpentry projects and gets out in the yard to work.

Thank the Lord!