Thursday, November 29, 2012

"God Has a Way of Irritating You", My Husband Says

Adding grass so weeds don't grow
This post is partly the tale of the black border and two Alzheimer's husbands each with his own energy level and opinions. It's hard to neglect the outside, especially the front yard, while I work on the whole house. Jake has helped us with our yard taking out weeds in a flower bed in the middle of a circular driveway. Hubby suggested we have more grass there instead of flowers that he had once planted and so we did buy grass squares and plugs as pictured. Our neighbor says it will eventually fill in.

Black border taken up

Months ago before my carpal tunnel I took up border bricks in the front yard. That center flower bed also had a black border that I thought needed to come up. One day when Jake came over to hang out with hubby, that flower bed again became a project for Jake who seems to love feeling useful (and he is and I appreciate that so much). I had started to get that black border up and Jake proceeded to bury it again. An hour or so later, however, he worked hard to pull it all out. There it sat in our front yard.

Tuesday had been the second day for the senior center and Sally had taken both husbands there about 10 am and picked them both up about 3 pm. I substituted that day and felt that I should connect with hubby and so we went out to dinner. Now DH is appreciative of all that Jake does, but he became irritated when the trash didn't take that black border last Saturday. Hubby had another solution that he confessed to me at dinner Tuesday night. Sheepishly he said,

"God has a way of irritating you."

Because of the short-term memory I was so surprised he brought this up as we were eating out. Did he have a memory? What was God convicting my husband about? How was God irritating him?

It turns out he had thrown that black edging over the fence in a cow pasture. When I got home from substitute teaching Wednesday, I asked about the edging.

I don't know. I must have done something with it.

When I looked, it had travelled down the pasture fence, but it was definitely on their side. I will confess for hubby to the neighbors on the other side of the pasture. We will figure something out. But I chuckle with this glimmer of memory and confession.

I also am grateful for the second day that Jake and DH spent at the senior center Tuesday of this week. The plan is that they go there once a week through December and then we take them there more and more as needed. Sally wisely encouraged this and a new routine is being established while we have that window of opportunity. Staff at the senior center reported to me that it is working. Hubby did well on puzzles--something I had not gotten him to do at home where he mainly watches TV. How grateful I am for this friendship with Sally and Jake and for the senior center.

Jake recently had his 75th birthday celebration. We gave him a photo album of things we two couples have done together. DH has his 75th birthday coming up next week. We will have a little celebration at our church Sunday afternoon.

Both 75 within two weeks of each other! The senior center staff remarked that these guys seem like brothers--twins? Actually they understand each other so well. My husband knows he has Alzheimer's and that Jake does also, but Jake doesn't acknowledge disability at all. He knows his buddy doesn't have energy and loves to help him. They love teasing each other and it works so well for them to go to the senior center together.


  1. A glimmer of a memory... something that irritated hubby and it's that glimmer that we catch onto and ride with hope and care. I am so glad Jake and your husband are such good friends. They need each other through this path they must walk. How sweet.

  2. Jake and Sally sound like a true blessing in your lives. Happy Birthday to both Jake and your husband!

  3. I love how this friendship endures. Happy 75th to both!

  4. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to both guys!!
    What a blessing it is for each of you to have this wonderful friendship during the time when you need it the most.
    Hugs and prayers,