How are you? people want to know. It's hard to know how to answer. However . . . . . .
My days of being depressed are less and less and I am weaning off of an anti-depressant (Paxil) now. I started taking it in May when my husband was going downhill. I take this pill every other day now instead of every day. In November I will take Paxil every third day.
No wonder I am not as productive as I usually have been. When I lose something or something needs fixing, it is A HUGE DEAL to me now.
Less than a month after my husband died, Tim Fall, a judge in California, who blogs more than I do, and who has commented on this blog, asked me to write about my two times being a widow on his blog. It is HERE. Of course the loss of both husbands is different--one suddenly and one from dementia.
I am going to a Grief Share group at Sally and Jake's church. It is great to be there with others who have lost family members or friends. I can see those of us who are sticking with this series are all getting better.
A discovery I made last week in Grief Share was that I am comfortable being a caregiver and have been reaching out to other caregivers now. However, being a widow is less comfortable. You have to eat out by yourself at times. You remember when you went places with your late husband. At home you remember his pastimes and think about how the home is different now, and what is comfortable as you forge a new life and changes you aren't ready for yet.
Tonight in Grief Share we dealt with what people say to us when we are grieving and how to forgive them with God's strength.
Grief us indeed complicated.