Tuesday, October 7, 2014


Am I sad, depressed or grieving? Yes to all three at different times.

How are you? people want to know. It's hard to know how to answer. However . . . . . .  

My days of being depressed are less and less and I am weaning off of an anti-depressant (Paxil) now. I started taking it in May when my husband was going downhill. I take this pill every other day now instead of every day. In November I will take Paxil every third day.

No wonder I am not as productive as I usually have been. When I lose something or something needs fixing, it is A HUGE DEAL to me now. 

Less than a month after my husband died,  Tim Fall, a judge in California, who blogs more than I do, and who has commented on this blog, asked me to write about my two times being a widow on his blog. It is HERE. Of course the loss of both husbands is different--one suddenly and one from dementia. 

I am going to a Grief Share group at Sally and Jake's church. It is great to be there with others who have lost family members or friends. I can see those of us who are sticking with this series are all getting better. 

A discovery I made last week in Grief Share was that I am comfortable being a caregiver and have been reaching out to other caregivers now. However, being a widow is less comfortable. You have to eat out by yourself at times. You remember when you went places with your late husband. At home you remember his pastimes and think about how the home is different now, and what is comfortable as you forge a new life and changes you aren't ready for yet. 

Tonight in Grief Share we dealt with what people say to us when we are grieving and how to forgive them with God's strength. 

Grief us indeed complicated. 


  1. I know I am guilty on more than one occasion of saying something that I shouldn't to a person who is grieving, but I think we just want to help others try to feel better and so sometimes we say things that arent' the most appropriate. Sometimes the gift of silence and jsut being there could be the best thing to do. I am glad you are getting something out of the Grief Share group; it is good to have something like that to help as you continue to grieve.


    1. We all want the grieving person to feel bester; sometimes grief isn't so simple as Grief Share and life are teaching me. I am a pretty much OPEN person, yet find it VERY DIFFICULT to open up about grief. It comforts me to know that Jesus is a man of sorrows and is acquainted with my grief.

  2. Carol, I feel privileged to have hosted your guest post at my place, and I am praying for you as you continue on in this part of your life now without your husband. You have strength, and we know ultimately it is God who sustains you through all this. Blessings, friend.

  3. Thank you, sir. Yes, He us sustaining me. It was great to get so many comments on your blog, Tim's Blog - Just One Train Wreck After Another.

    Thanks for checking in on me. My late husband told Kenny to check on me and Kenny just called to see how I am.

    Had a good day subbing in senior high school. I asked who the bullies were in the class and they lined up and I delivered my "Bully Rap" for them.

  4. Grief Share has helped a lot of people. I'm glad you are finding help through the class, Carol. One of the notes that I took from this past weekends conference on LOSS was to think of grief as a marathon and not a sprint. It takes time. God bless you.

    1. Oh yes! I want the sprint to be over, but it is a marathon with bumps along the way. Thanks for always being an encourager for me, Georgene.