Sunday, December 1, 2013

Dealing With Caregiver Stress, Part Two



How am I 

dealing 

with

stress? 

I wrote about caregiver stress HERE, the first post which has gotten a lot of views. That post was October 16 and it is a month and a half later.  I am being deliberate in dealing with my stress--what I can control since I can't control the progress of my husband's dementia. What am I doing to control stress? 
  1. Daily I am in Scripture and meditating on it. Praying also with petition for others as well as our needs. 
  2. I am seeing a counselor to discuss my stress and get feedback. He asked me to report to him about goals and emotions I am feeling and he let me talk with him for two hours this week! In addition to goals and emotions, I discussed what I think are signs of my depression--sleeplessness and lack of motivation. What I am learning about caregiver stress is going into my counseling dissertation on caregiving--but in a more academic way than these personal reflections you are getting on this blog. 
  3. I decided against taking an antidepressant. This is the road I have now (my cross to bear) and I can't escape it. The LORD is by my side. 
  4. I am rejoicing over what little I accomplish and not worrying about the rest. Goodbye perfectionism. Saving perfectionism for that dissertation. Grateful for the help that has come my way. Assigning perfectionism to them. 
  5. I am being creative--something I enjoy that I can do at home. I am making a round quilt table cloth for Sally. Last minute here, because I have been planning it since last January. She needs it Saturday, December 7 for a Christmas tea at her church. Fortunately she has a plan B. The quilt for the next grandchild is next. According to my counselor this is what is called eustress and it counteracts chronic stress
  6. Financial stress is upon me, but I am trying to watch spending in the food category by taking out only so much cash from the bank each week for food and "shopping" in our freezer or shopping with a careful food list. Much of this year we have gone out to eat because this seems to delight my husband. He did like the food we had for Thanksgiving. But planning a menu is just one more thing I have to do--but it will help with financial stress. Save money by black Friday spending? Didn't happen for me. Usually I am highly organized for Christmas gift giving, but not this year, and overspending will create more financial stress. 
  7. Watch more TV. I confessed to family who stayed with us last week that I rarely watch TV. Have been watching AFV in the evenings with my husband. Great chance to laugh together. Laughing is such good therapy. "Big Bang Theory" and "Duck Dynasty" have been suggested. Now hubby hogs the TV all day long sitting in his chair, for which I am grateful, but we do have two other TV sets. 
  8. I am doing less this season. I am not producing a Christmas letter. Good gracious gravy, all the news is here on Plant City Lady and Friends! Upbeat Christmas letter? Not me this year. So much has been difficult this year. I may write a few Christmas cards while a substitute teach in good classes. 
This morning Kenny came over to take morning pills with my husband as usual and he woke him up. Kenny told me that hubby is hallucinating today. Is this a psyche ward? hubby wanted to know. No, I thought to myself, but I am determined to keep myself out of one. 

10 comments:

  1. It looks like, Carol, that you are on the right track as caregiver. I see you had family with you for Thanksgiving and that is good. Just hang in there... the Lord will see you through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Latane. You have been through this and I appreciate so much your letting me interview you.
      Hugs,
      Carol

      Delete
  2. I read your entry from back in October about care giving. I like the suggestions there given to care givers. Care giving is a very difficult path to be on and care givers definitely need to take care of themselves or they are of no value to the ones they are care giving for. I think being realistic about what you can do or want to do with the upcoming holiday season is good to do so that you don't take on more than you can handle and cause undue stress. And of course always being grounded in scripture is so essential for any difficulties we are going through.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Betty,
      Thanks for writing here. You are a seasoned traveler in life, I see.
      Hugs,
      Carol

      Delete
  3. Very helpful post! I have found that sewing and crafting relieve stress if I don't have a time crunch. I really like Duck Dynasty. It's a Christian family. Good clean fun! The husband and wife have a good marriage and respect each other. I'm glad you let perfectionism go! I'm still working on that one! :-)

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    Replies
    1. Well I got into a time crunch, but Sally can use it even though the back is not done. Will have to look up Duck Dynasty.
      Hugs,
      Carol

      Delete
  4. I like your style! Keep laughing & shopping from the 'fridge and you'll be fine! I also opted out of the yearly Christmas card this year (first time in 20 years). I figured I was due a sabbatical. Plus, postage is expensive for 100 cards! xoxo Mar

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got some cards done while I substituted this week. Took Wednesday off, canceling substituting to get the dog to the vet, meet the plumber at our house, get coconut oil, etc. It is interesting that the vet called today just to check on Ziggy.
      Hugs,
      Carol

      Delete
  5. Following along here=D. You are doing a wonderful job with Herb and I understand that it is hard to keep everything going, but God is leading you through. Let me know if you got my email, I'm not sure if I sent it to the right address. Love and prayers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got that email. I have two email addresses. I would like to talk in person, okay?
      Love,
      Carol

      Delete

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