Monday, October 10, 2011

Learn as You Go or Prepare Ahead?

“It is best to learn as we go, not as we have learned.”
― Anonymous

Some things I have learned as we take this Alzheimer's journey:
  • My pastor and trusted friends can't really always advise me. They can pray.
  • My husband's children don't know what to say. I think they admire our journey from a distance and certainly hope they remember us in prayer.
  • My husband has a VERY poor sense of time, not just short-term memory. Because he knows this, he regularly checks with me.
  • My husband enjoys his life. He lives one moment at a time. This includes seeing movies repeatedly. His favorites include "The Titanic", "Walk the Line", "Fireproof" and "Pearl Harbor". Old movies are best because the new ones have too much action and intrigue often to follow.
  • My husband loves me. We tell each other this often. I am with him in his journey.
  • I learned to accept sundowning episodes and the anger of my husband because of the missing neurons in his hippocampus. When he called me an A-Hole the other day, I was calm. Later I told him what he had said and he apologized.  We marry a man who doesn't swear, and then they get Alzheimer's and swear! This is God's lesson to me to rely on Him for MY patience.
  • There is a wonderful blogger network out there. We encourage each other.
  • Provide a lot of clues for hubby to manage on his own when I am gone.
  • Get in a support group. Sally and I are in one that meets monthly. Hubby and I are in one that meets monthly.
  • Scripture keeps speaking to me with my caregiver's stress.
  • Have an Alzheimer's driving test. Hubby will have his second one Oct. 28th.
On the other hand, there are some things I have to prepare for:
  • My own health. I got into emotional eating when I realized that he has Alzheimer's. I need to prepare for the Alzheimer's walk on Oct. 29th also and appreciate those who have contributed. You can do so on line. Great encouragement to me and "Ann", my Alzheimer's Association support group facilitator. Her team that I am no needs to raise more money. Click on the link at the top right. I have  thanked people who contribute in person or by e-mail. 
  • Simplifying our life. Keep things in the same spot that my husband is used to. Use priorities as in Staci Eastin's book reviewed here.
  • Get credit cards paid off while I can work extra jobs.
  • What I can't prepare for is in the LORD's hands. Questions remain such as what if I can't take care of hubby in the future. Yet the Lord is my great Caregiver.
Worry weighs a person down;
an encouraging word cheers a person up.
Proverbs 12:25 NLT

Thanks to my Associate Pastor who e-mail me that he and his wife are praying. This was an encouraging word today and to his wife and others who contributed to the Walk or contribute by prayer.


  1. Oh Carol, I can so relate to so many of your comments!!!

    I'm so thankful for the suppotive and encouraging friends such as you.... I can't imagine how lonely this journey would be without our support of one another.

    Another good and thought provoking post..thanks.

  2. Good plans.
    Do not be weary in well doing, my friend.

  3. Carol...Are you keeping a list of scriptures that encourage you as a caregiver? It would be so helpful to have a link of encouragement.

  4. So much of Scripture encourages me, Living on Less, along with input from others. Proverbs says also, "Don't go ahead with your plans without the advice of others." I am so glad I can have Scripture for input and the great CAREGIVER the LORD himself on this journey.

  5. That's a lot to absorb. We love you, Carol. So much encouragement, I love your Scripture.