Sunday, May 8, 2011

What the Alzheimer's Loved One Wants

I am a guest author on Joseph Potocny's blog at  Joe has Alzheimer's and Frontal Lobe Dementia and writes frequently about his situation. He is quite an advocate! I also reviewed his book in January and February posts on our Plant City blog and he put those reviews on his blog.  

Recently on Joe's blog I developed nine guidelines to present to Potocny and he wrote six more.  So here are the fifteen guidelines that loved ones may be wanting from us.

1. Don't do everything for me.
2. Listen carefully and figure out the feelings behind what I am saying.
3. Don't nag me. Create a checklist for me to help me remember. The rest of the world has to use check lists also.
4. Enjoy my personality—I am not the disease of Alzheimer's.
5. Plan outings with me and don’t be embarrassed by whatever I do or say in public.
6. Give me visual clues for memory including a calendar.
7. Sing and joke with me.
8. Bring me into your world.
9. Say one thought at a time.
10. Do not hover over me.
11. No sudden changes.
12. Do not ask how I am doing constantly.
13. Watch your being needy.
14. Do not patronize me.

Thank you, Joe, for letting me pick your excellent brain!


  1. I agree with most of the suggestions, but I'm discovering some things do change as the disease progresses, like dates and calendars mean nothing to david .......
    for us I'd say number 15 would be most important.
    Thanks for the excellent guidelines.

  2. At the Alzheimer's support group yesterday I also heard that comment, Dolores. Plus number 8 (bring us into your world) can be confusing to them. The facilitator also said that beginning ALZ patients admit to lying, don't want others to finish their sentences and want the freedom to mess up without our getting upset.

  3. I'm with Dolores #15 is the most important for me and mom. LOL!