Can You Teach An Old Dog New Tricks?

Can you teach an old dog new tricks?  Yes, for a six year old dog. No, for a hubby with Alzheimer's.

In our 13 years of marriage, we have always had a Maltese male dog. The first was Woofii. After Woofii had to be put to sleep, I googled Florida Maltese breeders and five days later we got Ziggy when he was a young puppy. Dogs are so good for anyone, especially for family with Alzheimer's. Ziggy is so attentive to hubby.

Several months ago I moved a chair to the bedroom that used to be in the living room for safety since hubby had fallen out of bed one morning. When it was in the living room,  Woofii used that chair to jump up on the parson's table by the front window. When we first had Ziggy, he would do that also according to HERE. But hubby is concerned that Ziggy needs to do that more now as Woofii used to do so that when we go out Ziggy will be waiting at the window when we come home like Woofii did. We apparently can't keep this chair in the master bedroom.

Now back in
living room

So upon hubby's insistence we had to move the same chair back to the living room. That chair is now by the front window so Ziggy can jump up on the front table as in hubby's long-term memory. With a little bit of reinforcement six year old Ziggy again jumps up on that parson's table by the front window. For hubby's safety, another chair is now by his side on that bed.

Seventy-five year old husbands with Alzheimer's are not so easily trained. Even the long-term memory becomes distorted. Jake and hubby have all sorts of "memories" that Sally and I cannot confirm. Hubby will often check on his memories, however, and then he innocently says to me, "Oh that's right!" (Not that I even remember everything on this blog. I had to go back to 3/21/09 to read that Ziggy once did jump up on that parson's table by himself.)

Short-term memory. Ever since 2000 when I married my husband and came to love his church and his dog Woofii,  there has been a search for the perfect property for our church and the seminary connected with it.  Every time our pastor would announce we had a possible site, land or building to purchase, hubby and I would go there to check it out. I would take pictures and often send them around by email to church members. New property for our church was one of our interests. Finally, it looks like we have that property and hubby and I have been there three times. The last time was yesterday because he had not remembered the two other times. We were actually able to go inside of the building yesterday. I took digital pictures and two of them have hubby in them.

When we came home last night, alas! Hubby had forgotten that he had been by that property yesterday. I created a slide show on my wonderful new Apple computer to show him pictures. His short-term memory is indeed leaving him.

Not to insult my hubby, 

but you can train a dog easier than a hubby. 

Clutter at the Source

For almost a year I have been going through the book, The House That Cleans Itself by Mindy Starns Clark, one room at a time. This has been a humbling experience, because, Mindy sent me 15 copies of the first edition that I mailed to 15 of you who requested them. Some of you are in a Facebook group, The House That Cleans Itself, where we share our messes and successes. After a year you would think that I have it altogether. NO. I DO NOT, BUT AM KEEPING ON IT, FOLKS.

Although I am on the front and back yard officially, I have backed up to work on other areas in the house. Recently I wrote about the rug, and getting help to clean it. Such a relief!

It occurred to me that rooms in my home reflect "clutter at the source". I collect too many magazines, too much material and craft supplies and have too many clothes. There is too much mail in the house that maybe I can eliminate receiving. I need to deal with clutter at the source before it keeps invading our home.

From covers of magazines

Last week I have been tackling the magazines. I laugh as I saw all the magazine covers that promise you YOU CAN DE-CLUTTER or YOU CAN ORGANIZE. We think that we will read these magazines and so they pile up. Some of those subscriptions were "deals" when I bought something and keep coming because they are charged to a credit card. What a bummer! It is no great "deal" to bring magazines in my home that I will rarely read, even if they deal with clutter!

I was so proud of the recycled magazines I put out by the curb on Saturday.

I go through the whole Bible each year with a podcast called The Daily Audio Bible.
This morning I listened to and read along about Nehemiah's depression in Nehemiah 2:4. Like my concerns about our house, Nehemiah was depressed about the walls of Jerusalem. He went back to rebuilt and Scripture takes time to record each section of that famous wall being rebuilt.

I cannot control my husband's dementia, but I can take care of our home, one step at a time. Monday I am mailing letters to some of these magazines to stop them when the subscription runs out IF NOT BEFORE!  

YOU TOO? DO YOU BRING 

TOO MANY MAGAZINES 

INTO THE HOUSE?

Interview With Jean Milsop, Caregiver

I met Jean this summer in a class. This energetic 83 year old buried her husband Jim of 64 years last March. They had a wonderful marriage, raised a boy and girl together, enjoyed grandchildren, but the last 20 years saw his decline from Parkinson's Disease, a form of dementia with its unique characteristics where the muscles deteriorate. Why I wanted to interview Jean became evident. Here is a vibrant woman who survived and has much wisdom to impart. I was privileged to review her book, Taking Care and Letting Go: When Your Loved One Must Move to a Nursing Home. It may be out later this year. Today we had lunch at Reececliff, a famous Lakeland, Florida Restaurant.  My interview went like this.

Carol: I can so identify with the Pity Party that you write about in your book. For me this pity party has taken the form of emotional eating. How did you deal with the pity party? 

Jean:  I let myself have one, but only one. I am glad you liked that chapter.

Carol: Give me examples of how you learned to be patient.

Jean: During my morning walk I cleared my head and asked God to get me through the day.

Carol: How many years did you care for Jim at home?  

Jean: In February of 2008 he went to the facility so I believe it was sixteen years that he was manageable at home.

Carol: Were you in a support group or did you have people who came alongside of you during this journey?

Jean: No. I did briefly join a grief group after he passed away. Now I do meet with two friends whose husbands have beginning Alzheimer’s to encourage them on their journey.

Carol: Just as you are doing encouraging us all with this interview. What was the process of choosing a nursing home? 

Jean: I interviewed three. I was able to choose one that was close to my home that had good ratings.

Carol: How were you able to cover the huge expenses of a facility without losing your shirt so to speak?

Jean: Jim had been in the hospital for three nights and the hospital social worker got him into the facility. Insurance covered the first month. He was then evaluated and approved for long-term care through Medicare.   

Carol: How did you handle moving "home" to that facility? What did you bring there?

Jean: We just moved clothes, his TV and his radio. I got him new clothes such as pants with elastic waists. Every night I would then put out his clothes for the next day before I left the facility to go home. The certified nursing assistants (CNAs), he told me, always said how nice he looked. This made him smile. 

Carol: Did Jim go downhill after he was moved there as some of us fear?

Jean: No. He actually improved for a few months because of the daily physical therapy he received there.

Carol: You speak in your book about "being an advocate". What are specific examples of times you needed to intercede for Jim at the facility and how did the staff handle your possible "interference"?

Jean: They were very cooperative. One time we couldn’t get the baseball channel he wanted and I went right to the administrator and complained. It took three months, but he finally got his channel! Quarterly they had Care Plan Meeting with me to discuss his care, progress, decline or whatever my concerns were.

Carol: I would feel so guilty if or when I might have to place my husband in a facility. I want him home with me all his days. How did you cope? You obviously believed "'til death do us part" as I do. Did Jim object to leaving your actual home? 

Jean: In the beginning he was miserable, but after a while he adjusted. When I had to take him to the doctor, he was confused until he could get back to his room and his routine.

Carol: You were so limited when he was at home. Was part of the guilt suddenly having time for activities away from him while he was in the facility? 

Jean: Finally I could get a good night’s sleep.

Carol: You have a chapter on receiving support from family. I have had that support with a respite cruise last year, and the Alzheimer's Association has offered respite to my friend Sally. Did your children come along side of you in this caregiving of their father? 

Jean: They live out of state and have their own lives and family. We always love when they came to visit. My son is flying into town next week and of course it will be great to see him.

Carol: He needs to give you a big hug for how you have handled these past 20 years of your life. You are such an inspiration! 

Sweating at Last for the Yard

Wayne

Time to sweat. My forehead is healed from its eyebrow permanent makeup. Time to learn to use a new-to-me garden tool.

Wayne is such a gentleman. When he mows our yard (for free) we take him to dinner usually. This morning it was breakfast at Buddy Freddy's, a Plant City landmark. I just love his T-shirt that says "If I can't build it, fix it, or mow it, it must not be important."

After breakfast (really brunch), we came back to the house and Wayne mowed our front and back yards and gave me a lesson on the trimmer we have. You have to string it up. You have to mix gas with Type Two something. (Gonna have to buy this at Home Depot and I will find out the name of it.)

Wayne told me you have to dress for the part because even poisonous stuff can hit your legs and arms and you can get a rash.  This increases the sweat. I wore large sun glasses also. You also have to not get too close to fences. I got too close to a chord and almost took out the phone line. I stopped and Wayne got that chord off the machine. Thanks to Wayne for coming to my rescue!

Me with the John Deere Trimmer

You may be able to see the vines growing up by the side of the house. Got to get to those my hand, but not with this edger.

So this morning at Buddy Freddy's at the next table there was a group of four dudes with tattoos. Now I am not shy. I noticed that one of the four was not on a cell phone.

I quipped, "I guess your friends don't want to talk with you, " to the young man not texting. Then I embarrassed myself and said that I rap and have a YouTube channel. "Do you want me to do my Cell Phones rap for you?"

"No thanks," said one man on a cell whom I found out owns a tattoo parlor. I did manage to say (much to hubby and Wayne's disgust) that I have two tattoos (really permanent makeup)  on my forehead.  The tattoo artist said that he doesn't do those kind. They did take my rapper name for YouTube, however, but of course didn't want to hear a cell phone rap because they were so busy on their cell phones. These dudes were polite and I am sure they think I am a strange old biddy. Oh well!

Getting ready to speak tonight on "The Accidental Rapper" at Toastmasters and enjoying getting something done in the yard again today--at least before it rains again. I like the rain, however, because it makes pulling weeds easier and I don't have to water the grass and flowers.

The Dreaded Thyroid Biopsy Postponed

I had a count-down of days to this biopsy scheduled for today at 9 am. I kept busy each day, or rather life kept me busy as I have been recording on this blog.  I last wrote about this thyroid issue HERE.  Lately I have reminded people to pray about this biopsy and the results of it.

Can you imagine having a really long needle 

stuck in your neck while you watch it happen!!

I had a thyroid biopsy years ago. I was a widow then and so upset that I had no family by my side. But today hubby would be with me.

Of the three things I had to boss him around about (and really the only three things in his simple life), he accomplished one this morning--he took a shower, but standing up I am afraid. He complained about the shower seat in our large shower, but showered with it there standing up. His training for a sit-down shower isn't complete. He did not manage to shave before we left and I took his pills with us and he had them when he was good and ready for them--actually at lunch at Ruby Tuesdays with a lovely coupon from my MN friend Kathy.

It turns out that morning appointment was actually a biopsy consultation with the doctor who would do my biopsy. I told this specialist I have been tired lately. The body is so complex and so at my age he decided to also do a carotid ultrasound on August 14 and the thyroid biopsy will be on August 15th.  I will find out the results on September 3. So the wait is not over, folks. I have to wait more!

I need to keep busy. I came up with this list.

Showing the driver's license
I am stuck with for five years--
me with no eyebrows. 

1. Practice speeches for Toastmasters. Monday on the spur of the moment because the club needed more speeches, I decided to  speak on "The Girl With No Eyebrows" at a Toastmasters speak-a-thon. It turns out this old biddy shown here was funny and was encouraged to enter the club's Humorous Speech Contest on August 19th. See post HERE.  Do you think I should enter it?  Also I am speaking on "The Accidental Rapper" on August 5th--how I became MC AC The Rap Lady. Maybe people will get tired of this old biddy speaking three times in a row. 
2. Tweak The House That Cleans Itself so I can entertain in a month.  Lots of things left to do here. 
3. Work on counseling dissertation. 
4. Continue to enjoy prayer and Bible study--aways refreshing.
5. Write letters to people who actually send mail. Kathy in MN and Joyce in TN. I do not think they read this blog. 
6. And, of course, spend time with hubby. He is just happy if I sit by his side. Me sit? I will have to practice that one. 

What do you do when you are waiting? 

What do you think I should do? 

More Computer Trouble

Suspected Scammer Taking Over My Computer

The morning of July 26th I went in search of a missing piece for my new Mac computer--getting Microsoft Office installed. On the Internet I found a service  which reported to be experts who could help me get Office installed and they took over my computer remotely with my permission. What did I know? Best Buy Geeks said that I needed to get someone else to use the codes on my discs to credit it for a Mac and put it on this computer.

The chat began late morning and to protect myself I copied our chat when my new Mac computer was taken over by this group and put it on a note. Then I emailed that chat so I would have it on my Notebook computer.

To start Jerry gets my first and last name, my home number, cell number and my email. I told Jerry about the two PC discs I have, but need it on a Mac. Twice he asks me if I have a place to install the discs and twice I tell him the Mac Mini doesn't have that.

Jerry: Are there other computers connected to this computer in your network?

Carol: No, but I do have a PC Acer Notebook that has this 2007 installed on it and I would like to send files to that Notebook computer. I use it to do Power Point presentations.

Jerry: Thank you so much for briefing [me] on your issue. From here we will take care of this issue and fix it for you. I am going to look for reasons why you are facing this issue and possible solutions. Please let me check your MAC for a while. May I?

Carol: Thanks so much, Jerry.

Jerry: You are welcome.  I am going to look for reasons why you are facing this issue and possible solutions. Please let me check your MAC for a while. May I? [He repeats himself] . . . Carol, I tried to download but there are some errors in your Mac stopping me. Let me show you. [He shows items in red.]  Can you see the errors in your computer?

Carol: Yes, you pointed to them.

Jerry: Yes, These are the corrupted registry files & they could be causing the problem with installations ports in your Computer. These registry files might have corrupted the associated driver and the communication ports for your computer. They might have corrupted and starting to multiply to other programs in your computer. There seems to be serious issues with your computer that needs immediate attention. Some of the registry issues need to be fixed or it might result in computer crashes and the data loss. I can fix it manually for you.

What do I know about all of this? Have viruses followed me to this MAC.  Also, notice the These is capitalized. He could have copied and pasted this. 

Carol [weary for a month of hospital visits, my fall, computer viruses, no water, and pending biopsy not to mention my husband's decline]: great

Jerry: Alright [sic], May I know when you did the last clean up of errors in your computer manually by a Certified System Engineer?

Carol: Oh no! I have had this since Tues. I got it because the PC had viruses and Trojans on it and I think this Mac should have fixed everything. This Mac Mini is brand new with my old stuff installed on it.

Jerry: I understand, Did you transferred [sic] any files from your old PC to the Mini mac.

Carol: Best Buy did that for $99.

Jerry: As a certified professionals we would not like to comment on any third party applications or security software. The Network ports of your computer seems not to be secured enough to block these infections.  Since you transferred your old files (affected files) to your MAC this could happen.  .  .  .  Threats can enter in through a small loophole too, within the first 4 minutes on internet usage. If this goes on for a long time without getting the problem fixed, chances are that your computer could easily crash and stop working altogether.

Should be "infected", among other corrections. 

Jerry: Carol, Are you following me.

Carol: Yes in tears because I thought with a Mac I was not going to have Trojans and viruses as easily if at all.
. . . .
Jerry: Once I fix all the issues on your Computer  . . . I would suggest you to go for the long term as there are several issues on your Mac.  . . . We will be your dedicated support for all your MAC needs anytime with your subscription.

I remind Jerry that I bought certified Best Buy Geek support for three years and this would be a duplicate coverage. 

Jerry:  As a certified professionals we would not like to comment on any third party applications or security software. 

He has repeated himself. Now Jerry is pasting in that same sentence with the a c______ p_______s error. It is his canned speech. 

I foolishly buy this service and then am able to be offered a refund later--stay tuned. Bank of America credit card will get me out of it by 72 hours if it is not deleted by this outfit. 

Enter Valentino who calls me someone else--Thomas. 

Valentino: If you have the key for the Mac computer we will install it now.

Carol: I never told you I had a key for a Mac computer. You should have read carefully. This is a scam to get my money.

Valentino: We are certified professionals. We resolve all kinds of Technical issues.

A Lewis was brought in and while I attended to my husband, someone wrote for me to someone else right on my computer!!! Taking over my computer while I was out of the room!  As I had told them, I had to leave to take my husband to the doctor to check his knee that had put him in the hospital earlier in the month. I typed that "I am very upset" and that they could call at 6 pm. At the doctor's office on my iPhone I get an email receipt from their services and I reply on email from my iPhone: Might dispute this. False information from [your techs] who didn't read what I wrote, and took over my computer.  .  .  . We will see if [you] can deliver what [you] promised before [you] took my money. 

Thank the LORD 
the doctor said 
my husband's knee is healing nicely. 

Shortly after I got home they did call and I complained. Soon a tech was back on the phone saying they would give a refund. A confirming email followed with a ticket history note at the bottom that I had gotten irate and thought they were scammers and had disconnected the phone. No indication that I had left to go to the doctor's office.

Tomorrow is Sunday, a day of rest. 

I need it. Thanks for your prayers. 

New Computer

Our church starts at 2 pm, but I was on a mission--recover my computer last Sunday morning.  In the battle for the shower I put up with just hubby taking pills and shaving.  There was another battle and I couldn’t wait for hubby’s shower (which did happen on Monday, by the way). 

This was the second time my big computer had that same ugly virus. One virus or Trojan showed a picture of handcuffs and demanded money or my computer would be shut down! A friend from church had solved it the first time, and it took him a lot of time to do it. I dared not ask this gentleman again. 

 Actual Picture of a Trojan that two times infected my old computer

Me? Pornography on the computer? Send them money from KMart, 7-11 or Walgreens? The only picture I could think of as porno was this one I once used on a blog post for humor HERE. 

Furthermore, I am anti-addiction and anti-porography.  Why I even put anti-pornography in one of my latest raps, “Addiction”, that I just delivered in my last class for DUI offenders.

Here to be in your face

About your addiction

Don’t get me started

It’s hard to be parted

With your addiction

Lots of friction

You skip tradition

And slip into addiction

Doling out your cash

Getting high on grass

Or meth or cocaïne

Hugging, puffing

Reeling, stuffing

Alcohol seems so splendid

But just causes a dependence

Booze makes you a ball of rage

Will be hard to turn the page
Porn seems too easy
Just makes you sleazy
Relationships now measly
Life is a process
But drugs are a regress
Do you want to kill?
Take that drive
Take that pill
You won’t survive
The heat’ll get ya
And you’ll go to jail
I’ve seen it ya betcha.
So low you stoop
But it’s time you regroup
Pitch the fiction
Stop the addiction
Don’t escape life
Deal with your strive
Here to be in your face
About you addiction.

You viruses! I complain about porn, but don’t have it on my computer!  You think you are going to come and lock me up if I don't send money! You are not our government! 

I asked a police lady friend with whom I play Words With Friends what can be done.  She wrote me on the chat on our game:  If you can prove who and how it was done, you can present it to an attorney. They may ask you to get a police report with a case number to start an investigation.

This is the second time for those viruses on my computer. My husband's son-in-law said he switched to a Mac because of viruses.  I emailed my Mac/Apple sister-in-law and asked if she knew of a cheap Mac computer. 

As I indicated, Sunday is usually our day of rest, with a casual morning and a 2 pm afternoon service. But I had no rest at all. I had to do something.  Hubby and I headed off to Best Buy for a solution. Hubby found his usual spot for sitting in the Geek area. I walked by the Best Buy PC computers and found the Apple sign.

Apple Display at Best Buy

Here it was that I met Knight Mike. If ever there was a customer ready to buy, it was I!

I approached Mike as if he were a psychiatrist.  “I am grieving so much about my PC and all my work and photos I am missing on it.  Sure I have a small Notebook computer, but there are tons of files on my PC.”  Mike let me spew all my woes out. “Mike, the virus even thinks I have pornography on my computer and they want me to send money!”

We looked at options. I checked my email on my iPhone and my sister-in-law was out of church and emailed me back about the Mac Mini. You can use your monitor, your keyboard and your mouse from the defunct PC. We went back to the house and got the tower of the PC I now call The Trojan Horse, or "Trojan" for short with its ugly viruses/Trojans lurking inside and hubby and came back to buy.

"Trojan"

I emailed my sister-in-law:  “Mike and you just sold me.”  With lightning speed Customer Service Agent Charlene completed the order and brought me to the Geek Squad who would arrange for my PC insides to be put in virus free to a Mac-Mini-Intel Core 15/4GB/500 on sale for $549.99 with DATA backup for $99.99 and a three year Geek warranty for $179.97 in addition to the year’s Mac warranty. After all my careful planning to reduce credit card balances, I put over $800 on a credit card that I had proudly reduced by $400 this month. Oops!

We got to our 2 pm church service at 2:25. After the service I confessed to pastor where we had been. That confession felt good. Would you have confessed to your pastor the frivolous reason you were late? He really didn't seem upset with us. 

Wednesday morning I had my Geek appointment to get my new Mac with recovered files from the Trojan. Geek Erin was great. When I got home I did find that the keyboard and the mouse would work, but I had to buy a new monitor. I went to Staples and got one on sale for $89.99 and with a chord for $40.79. All in all my Mac computer was a lot cheeper than the old $3000 Mac I had gotten years ago. But the Staples techie said that Mac/Apple computers do get viruses and my three year Geek warranty doesn't cover them. Hmm! 

After I taught a DUI class from 3:30 to 7:30 on Wednesday, I stopped by to see Geek Erin again for more info. What the Staples techie told me was not true and she showed me on my  warranty and three-year contract that virus protection is included, should I get a virus. Erin did give me Best Buy Tech at 1-800-433-5778 for further help. Even though I have had several Apple computers, I found that I would need help at home to finish setting up the computer. Best Buy Tech could answer my questions for about $50, but they did give me Laura at 1-800-275-2273, an actual Apple/Mac tech who was wonderful and helped me with 5 of 7 issues. Getting Word, Excel and Power Point needs to happen with a Microsoft download and I forgot to ask Laura about hooking up my PC speakers to the Mac Mini.  That short-term memory of mine again! 

Small Mac Mini at left

Now, with MY short-term memory, I wonder if I will remember all of Laura's tricks. I do wish that ridding my hubby of Alzheimer's and memory loss would be that easy as taking a virus or a Trojan out of a computer. Sigh! 

Sitting Down to Shower

"Sean," I told him in earnest on the phone, "we are senior citizens and both of us need to sit down in the shower. Hubby doesn't like me bossing him around, so when you come I just know that you can do wonders, because he doesn't want me bossing him around. I think he will listen to you."

Knight Sean (Occupational Therapist) drove up in our circular driveway to our door in his Hummer-looking large black four-door jeep. When Sean came in the door, Sean told hubby, "Mr. Johnson, I am here to have you take a shower." With one command at a time, Sean skillfully broke down the process and hubby took a sit-down shower! He raised the sturdy shower bench I couldn't raise and was using in the yard for weeding.  He remarked that the port-a-potty we have would also work in the shower.

Solution One. Sean told me to get grab bars installed for the shower. I once had bought them when the shower was retiled by homeowners insurance for a mold problem we had maybe six years ago before dementia entered our household, However, the construction crew did not install them and I had taken them back. I surmised that the grab bars were not part of the original construction and not needed in the repair. Bummer.

Twice as good a deal as six months ago

I have just paid off our interest-free six month Home Depot credit card balance and now I could take longer for the interest free loan.  So I went online and chatted with Tiffany to see if I could get grab bars installed.

Tiffany: Welcome to the Home Depot! My name is Tiffany and I am a Bath Product Specialist. How may I assist you today?

Carol: I need a grab bar installed in our shower.

Tiffany: Hello, Carol.

Tiffany: In regards to installation/remodeling, please contact our At-Home Services at 1-888-480-9500, press "1", and then enter the three-digit code "267." You will be asked to put in your zip code and then will be connected with a representative who may better assist you with your installation/remodeling questions and concerns.

Carol: Thanks.

When I called, I found out that they sell grab bars, but do not install them.

. . . But, Home Depot doesn't do grab bars!

So I decided to still try to obey the knight with the four-door black jeep and see about getting grab bars installed from Lowes. Lowes also does not install grab bars, but they did have something that might work--Safe-er-Grip, Balance Assist for Shower or Tub. The Lowes clerk knew what I was talking about, as his own mother had fallen and had to have surgery for a broken hip and with the anesthesia her dementia had gone downhill. If hubby can avoid falling, he can avoid the possibility of anesthesia for surgery and the accompanying decline of dementia following anesthesia. If I can avoid falling as I have done twice recently, I can continue to take care of my hubby at home. Physical therapist Susann talked me through the installation of the two Balance Asists and the best use of them--for balance, not for pulling oneself up. One fell down that first night, however.

Two large bricks covered by a rug
and Safe-er-Grip on toilet

Solution Two. I put two 8 inch by 8 inch by 16 inch bricks on top of each other between the shower and the toilet with a rug on top of them. Hubby has a counter on his right and the bricks on the left to get off the toilet. Those bricks now hold his soap and shampoo for a sit-down shower. But guess what! He moves the soap dish to where it was at the back of the shower and stands to take his shower. You know what they say—you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.

Just as Physical Therapist Susann left, Occupational Therapist Sean came. The timing corresponded with another event.  Sally and I were having lunch with another friend. Jake came over to have his lunch with my husband and Susann left and Sean was there with Sally and my Alzheimer's husbands.

The two balance assists in the shower

Sean liked the two brick idea between the toilet and shower. Sean asked if they would be okay when he left and I told him the two Alzheimer’s buddys would be fine. The two men love being together and are so funny together. When hubby sat and waited for me at Best Buy recently, he said to me that it felt strange not to have Jake by his side. These men have a unique bond and fantasy life about things they have done together. When Sally and I came home from our lunch date, the hubbies were indeed happy and had planned the four of us would go to dinner and we did that. We women can’t do all the planning!

So it has been up to me to persuade hubby with our new sit-down shower arrangement. Getting him to shave is easier because he can feel his beard. He thinks he showered yesterday, when he hasn't. Alzheimer's patients need a routine and we just have to manage somehow so he can remain in our home without falling and with strengthened muscles.

Solution Three. Now hubby had injured his knee taking socks off to put in the hamper. This is how the last hospital trip happened. I got him new socks that are easier to take off. Hubby is not using this walker now, but I put the hamper between the legs of that walker so he can carefully balance himself as he takes off his socks. I notice he does hold those handles on the walker when he uses the laundry hamper.


Laundry basket in walker



Sitting down in the shower is not an embedded solution yet, as hubby  takes a stand-up shower in his sit-down shower. Calling Knight Sean! Need another lesson in sit-down showers! And hey, Home Depot and Lowes, with our aging population we need you to install those grab bars.

The House That Cleans Itself: Rugs in Areas 2, 4, 5, and 6

Looking down the hall
to the master bedroom

When I have finished a room, I have had to report that the unclean, stained carpet wasn't done and I would have to go back to that. The history of the horrible stains is that once a "professional" group came in and cleaned quickly with lots of moisture. In several months the stains appeared as the moisture came to the surface revealing the mud that was imbedded.

Today our carpets were cleaned with the help of Melody, whom we employed. In order to do this, she started with the master bedroom about 11:15 and she worked hard until 5:45 until she had done what I asked her to do. Now ceiling fans are running drying these rooms and I am sitting on the only chair in the den as I type.

"Where are our chairs?" hubby kept askinig.

"I moved them to the garage, the workshop, the guest bedroom and even the front porch," was my reply. Then he would ask again where the chairs were. At one point he moved to our bedroom to watch TV so Melody could clean the family room. His celebrated Ikea coffee table with his prized DVD collection was rolled to the kitchen. Ceiling fans in the rooms that have them are running at high speed as the carpet dries.



Products Used

Melody picked up my vacuum cleaner from our repairman, her brother, and brought it to our house. It worked well and so I have no excuse but to keep up the vacuuming. She also said I can use the stain removers to clean spots. I need to do that. She used Rug Doctor Oxy-Steam Carpet Cleaner in her carpet cleaner (my carpet cleaner is waiting for a part according to her brother). For stain removal she used Resolve Stain Remover and Bissell Big Green Commercial Heavy Traffic Precleaner you see above.

Now, my three weeks for "no sweat" after my eyebrow procedure I wrote about earlier will be up on July 22 so then I have to get busy. Also, you may notice the weights in the above shelf and my birthday treadmill in this post. Next week I need to exercise, keep up with the house and get back to weeding. Those weeds have been growing! Tentatively a yard sale will be coming up also.

There were two other wonderful blessings today beside the carpet cleaning. First, a student I had in fifth grade 35 years ago messaged me on Facebook and thanked me for the impact I had on her life. Second, I received my notice that I will be substituting again next week. (I had gotten the substitute test in late due to my husband's hospitalization recently.) 

Thank you, LORD, for such rich blessings.

Pride Goes Before Destruction



MRI discovers torn cartilage



Light pink curb I thought was part of walkway

Pride goes before destruction, we read in Proverbs 16:18. Well I had a lot of pride and I fell over a long raised curb that separated our car from a brick walkway. At dusk it appeared to me that the curb was part of the walkway.

I commented in the last post about hubby being sad Saturday night as I left the hospital. He asked if it was his permanent home and of course I explained that he was in the hospital because of his knee. 

All Sunday I was back to the hospital with him. A person with Alzheimer’s doesn’t understand the hospital. He asked where our dog is. I should have put more lights on in the hospital room to avoid sundowners, but I forgot. I was tired and tried to sleep in the nice fold-down chair provided for guests. I tell you, that the staff there was wonderful—Cindy, Roy, Lou Ann, Lorrie and Tracey and I should have told have told them about sundowners as I did about his coconut oil that they kept in a refrigerator.

We left the dimly-lit hospital room as hubby’s bed was wheeled a brightly-lit room where the MRI specialist Carletta gave clear instructions to my husband as he entered her MRI machine that was to discover what was wrong with that right knee that had been giving him problems. Carletta’s sparkling personality was so much fun. She put music on my husband’s head set to mask the noise of the machine and he behaved himself all during the test that was maybe half an hour. 

Back in the dimly-lit room hubby had a sundowner’s episode, but I listened carefully and oh was I starting to be humbled. DH was uncharacteristically hurling all kinds of innuendos at me, threatening our marriage. I did start to listen, however, because I am being trained as a counselor. What is the feeling behind what he is saying even if the reality is skewed by an Alzheimer’s sundown episode?

Pride lesson number one. Hubby doesn’t feel connected to me. What he said was like a knife in my heart. I go around the house taking care of more than my share of work in household tasks, dare I say 99% of what needs to be done. But, my primary task and joy is to be WITH him. I have even blogged about this privilege of being with him as his wife. He told me point blank that I was becoming too bossy and that we needed to decide things together. I agreed with him. Everything I think is important to get done has become my altar above being a wife. I could understand how he was feeling and did not dismiss this, nor his anger.

So before going home for the night I gave him his cell phone so he could feel in charge. Meanwhile he called out Pastor who asked him where he was. He could not say where he was and Pastor had him give the phone to someone nearby. I was told that a nurse did talk with our Pastor.  Meanwhile when I got home, hubby called and ordered me back to the hospital, with strong statements that seemed to reflect on the security of our marriage. I was taken aback, but decided to take my weary bones back to the hospital. I even stopped and bought him ice cream.

It was as I got out of our car in the parking lot at dusk Sunday night that I fell. Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.  Down on my left side. I had learned to not brace myself in a fall and didn’t hit my head. But I was mad and in pain. Again with my pride I thought this fall was so unfair. Why had my husband insisted I return to the hospital after hours--so unreasonable, I thought!

I tried to hold back the tears from the pain as I made it to Third North with his ice cream. He was so glad to see me and had none of the anger of the previous hours. The husband in him rose to the occasion. Here he was needed to comfort me. Of course he expected that I was going to get his clothes and drive us home but I said I needed to go to ER about my injuries as Nurse Cindy started to fill out an accident report. I was sent to that same Emergency Room where hubby had been the day before. My pain had subsided by the time I got to ER and I decided to not pursue being examined in ER—possibly a prideful decision. Fortunately (better GOD’s grace than MY wisdom) I was just bruised as far as I can tell. My knee and elbow have abrasions and at this point the shoulder pain is gone. My pharmacist at Super Discount Pharmacy said to keep the abrasions’ uncovered and use Neosporin Ointment.

About 5:30 Monday night hubby came home and was wheeled in the front door by neighbor Kenny. Hubby headed for his spot in the family room by his DVD collection. We wheeled that collection out of the way so that the walker could be used. Soon Tom from Westcoast Brace and Limb was at our door to fit hubby with the brace he has been wearing on his injured knee. New items in our life: a wheel chair, walker (we have two now) and a knee brace.

Tuesday Jake came over and Sally and I attended a wonderful session with Dr. Aryn Harrison at our monthly Alzheimer’s Association meeting while Kenny stayed with the Alzheimer’s husbands.

So much help. Tuesday my main computer had a MAJOR virus and Dave from church is now working on it. I am so blessed to have all of this help. Sally and Jake’s son installed the moveable shower head for hubby to use as he sits in the shower.  The Interim Health Care have been at the house to rehabilitate my husband—three people today. Nurse Tammy, Occupational Therapist Sam and Physical Therapist Tarissa. Saturday Wayne again will mow our lawn. Thursday they are sending a social worker.  He has many adjustments so he can remain in our home and strengthen his leg, but he is on his way.

I have been remembering the lesson. BE WITH HUBBY. Fortunately there will be other people to help him exercise and take a shower sitting down. I won’t have to appear like the boss to him and we can just be buddies for however long the LORD wills.

--Carol from her Notebook computer by her husband’s side

(Corrected after first posted with pictures added when home computer was restored.)