Smiling and Laughing

From Natural Solutions Magazine

Even though we are a Hospice household now, it is not ALL downhill. There ARE things to laugh at and things that bring a smile. I decided to record some this week.

Smiles. I have been so encouraged by the prayers and contacts from others. The comments on the last blog post here are just a small fraction of prayers and concerns from others including Facebook comments. We all are learning about the progress of this disease and every dementia patient has a different course. When you have seen one Alzheimer's patient, you have seen ONE Alzheimer's patient I have heard in Alzheimer's Association workshops. Certainly DH and our friend Jake are different.

A funny. Hubby is social and easily adapted to people coming into the house that are new to him. So pleased. I was on an errand on Wednesday, and when I came home a hospice aide was skillfully giving him a bed bath. Now hubby has a quick wit. Here he is naked with another woman.

Hubby: This is my new girlfriend.

Me (his wife chuckling): Does your wife know about her? 

Hubby: No, I don't think I will tell her. 

The aide was aghast that he said that, but I assured her it was part of his humor that I love and that he wasn't flirting with her and I was not upset he said that. Later he forgot all about this funny incident when I told others.

Wednesday continued to be interesting as I adjusted to suggestions from the nurse. I had to buy a twin bed for me to be put by my husband's hospital bed. Not worried about his walking as he was watching TV in his wheel chair, I went on a second errand to pay for that twin bed I decided upon. Wrong! I should have worried.

When I got home I found Jake, an Alzheimer's patient himself and dear buddy of my husband, sitting watching TV when I entered the family room through the garage. Hubby was not in his wheel chair.  He forgot he doesn't walk well. Ahead of me down the hall was hubby on the floor in the master bedroom. Do not put one Alzheimer's patient in charge of another one without someone else being there!  I found two strong neighbors (men who are relatives of Kenny who is out of town) to lift up hubby.

Do you have people in your life who do not text now and you so wish they would? Probably they know something the rest of us don't know because they have a simpler life. When Sally returned to pick up her husband, I teased her about her lack of texting skills. We always go round and round about this issue. I would dearly love for her to author here as well. However, her granddaughter is scheduled to review a teen novel that features a grandfather with Alzheimer's.

Me: I so want to be able to text you, Sally. 

Sally (repeating what she had said other days): I know, I know, I need to learn to text. 

Stay tuned, folks, there might be a whole hilarious blog post on our texting each other about our husbands--neither one would ever get into texting.

Wednesday proved that no longer can hubby be alone. I do not know that he would call someone if he fell. Jake, on the other hand still uses a cell phone and Sally is glad because he can be the wandering sort. She can call him. AD patients keep teaching us about their disease.

With Jake picked up by Sally and hubby not injured from his fall, I settled in to fix our dinner. Hubby had to poop and so I wheeled him to the master bath which has more grab bars than the other bathroom. Dinner would have to be warmed up later and he would stay in the bathroom a long time.

Got a call from our pastor. He and his wife were coming over. Cool! Soon I was talking with them in our family room about the stress of the past few days. Hubby was still on the master bath toilet. The pastor's wife was sitting on the part of a couch that looks down that hall to the master bedroom with an open door.

She saw more than our
dog, I'm afraid! 

Suddenly there was a streaker! Hubby streaked to the bed within eyesight of my pastor's wife!  I haven't discussed this with her, but she reads this blog and might clarify if she did in fact see a streaker! Horrors!

Can you imagine your pastor's wife 

seeing your half-naked hubby
 down the hall streaking!

And that dinner! I fed it to him when he was in bed after company left. I am starting to realize I need to catch him at the best times for his nutrition.

I am glad that he is walking more, but he forgets he has fallen in recent days and really should not get up from the wheel chair. It has become evident that someone needs to be with him to be his memory and to help him not fall. He needs a sitter if I am not there. My working days are over unless I get a sitter. Kenny cannot do this all the time.

Teen Alzheimer's sitter. Late Thursday afternoon I commandeered two teens in the neighborhood that know us (I have substituted for them also) and fed them and hubby ice cream when I went out on an errand. Sure enough hubby got up to walk to the bedroom! The reliable teens were by his side. In the bedroom he forgot why he was there and they brought him back to the family room.

Apparently that chiropractic visit on May 7th before Hospice was starting to work now--hubby is walking. What Dr. Robyn has done for hubby dramatically helped him last year as I recorded HERE.   Her strategy has been to stimulate the nervous system and the muscles and organs to function. So just maybe, when Kenny gets back in town, we may be able to take hubby to church and back to see Dr. Robyn who has helped his functionality since last fall. Note that because of his level of activity and Alzheimer's, the decision was made last July to treat the arthritic bone problems with pain relievers and to give him physical therapy at home. Surgery for a torn ligament is not always recommended and it wasn't for sure that he had a serious torn ligament according to that MRI. But the knee is arthritic and he does take pain medicine for it.  See HERE. Also, see this USA TODAY STUDY. Alzheimer's can indeed impact the walk of our loved ones.

I get to stay home more. I love our home, and it will be interesting to see how the LORD is providing for our finances with my not working. I love that hubby is not in a nursing home now and I would hope he doesn't have to go to one because of the help of Hospice. More on that later.

Putting a smile on the faces of others. I rap for others. I say I'm almost 70 and would you like to hear a rap? Hospice staff love it--our main nurse looked up my rapping channel on YouTube. Young clerks and bag boys who serve me at a grocery store love it; if they ask can I carry out the groceries for you I say only if I can rap for you. Those teen babysitters love my raps. It's kind of a diversion for me. I am also starting a twice-a-month Bible study for several women--something I wouldn't be able to do if I continued to work so much. And, I do hope I put a smile on your face when you read this.

from Dr. Isaac Eliaz

A merry heart makes 

a cheerful countenance,

But by sorrow of the heart 

the spirit is broken. 

Proverbs 15: 13

Outings With My Dementia-Impaired Husband

Tuesday we wert to a concert:

THE BRIGHT STARS SENIOR IDOL SHOW 

at

Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater, Florida. 

We had to go because my retired teacher friend  was performing. She was one of three performers to win the first round in our area and this was the next round. So exciting! Hubby and I set off two hours before the 6:30 concert was to begin.

I played classic oldies from my iPod on the way over--Side by Side, I Just called to Say I Love You, Ain't No Mountain High Enough, For Once in My Life, and You Are the Sunshine of My Life. I knew when we got to the concert, there would be plenty more songs that hubby and I could enjoy. 

Now hubby is adjusting (or not) to changes these days. His doctor says he has to use his walker. However, when we got to Ruth Eckerd Hall,  he wanted no part of the walker in the parking lot to get to the auditorium. I motioned for the security guard in a golf cart. But after walking by several parked cars,  he changed his mind and had me retrieve the walker. Meanwhile the golf cart appeared and hubby went off in that golf cart with the walker in the back to the concert entrance. I walked to meet him. 

It might have worked better if Sally and Jake had been able to come with us, but Sally got sick at the last moment. However, I really did want to see my friend perform. Hubby was being stubborn and wanted to go back home after our long drive before we were even seated. Someone I had met through this friend appeared and she did help hubby get to our seats in the auditorium. I have that wife nag factor, whereas someone else can get him to do things. At the intermission after six performances,  hubby wanted to go home, but I said no and he did sit down. He will not argue in public. 

My friend was the eleventh of twelve performers. She herself came out in a walker and said to the audience:

You got to do what you got to do. 

My friend performing at 
Ruth Eckerd Hall, April 22, 2014

She leaned on a baby grand piano and the Bright House staff took her walker away. Her first song was Neither One of Us and she nailed it. For her second song she was accompanied on that piano by her cousin and it was so moving. She sang I'm Still Holding On, a Christian song by Luther Barnes. She was holding on and I have to hold on also at this stage of Alzheimer's.  After the concert I sent her a text that she had nailed it. Hubby waited with his walker while I went to get our car and we went to a late dinner at Applebee's. Usually in bed at 8 pm I drank a lot of strong coffee at Applebee's and we got home way after midnight. I canceled my job substituting in a middle school for Wednesday and used that day to sleep in and work on other pressing matters. 

The next outing was today--a one-year-old birthday party for two dog siblings. One of those dogs belongs to our friends Sally and Jake, and of course we had to go! It would be our dog Ziggy's first social engagement ever. 

Now Kenny isn't available for the shave and shower at this time, so I had to perform this routine with my husband this morning.  I live such a crazy busy life and it came to the fact that I had to slow down to accomplish the shave and shower.

The wooden chair by the bed is so useful. Hubby uses that one arm for help getting up; and then he faces the chair and uses both arms while I pull his slacks up. That chair is also useful for pill taking. The morning pills went well because we used that routine established my Kenny. I have something cold for you to drink, I said as I sat in the chair and then we both took our Saturday morning pills.

The shave in the master bath went well. In the light later I realized what a poor job I had done with the shave. (Kenny does a better job with these routines.) While I shaved DH with a razor, I told him how in the middle of the night I had been able to catch that frog that lived in the master bath toilet--coming back up after it had been flushed down. Last night the frog was out of the toilet and by the shower, I reported, and I chased it to a corner and put the urinal upside down on it and he jumped in. Then I closed the urinal and brought that frog outside. Now I had to tell hubby this news one idea at a time so he understood what I said. We both laughed. 

It came time for the shower--a easy distance from the shave since the shave is always done while hubby sits on the toilet lid as a chair. That shower is right next to it.  But it was not to be!

Let me lay down for a couple of minutes before I take it was his request. He did so. I sat in our bedroom and opened mail and got on my Notebook computer and also played Words With Friends on my iPod--for an hour I did this.

Then he wanted to get dressed without taking the shower, but I had not put any clothes out for him as I always do these days. I had to really insist to get him into the shower. I even called Kenny who gave him a pep talk. It took maybe five minutes of arguing.

Finally with the shower done and hubby dressed in a cowboy shirt with a country belt on his jeans, we were able to get to the next social event--today's party for the sibling dogs who had both turned one. Our dog Ziggy was not his best--outside he peed on the jeans of the hostess, but all five dogs did get along, although Ziggy seemed shy.  Ziggy didn't understand doggy ice cream and doggy cake, but the other four dogs were happy to eat his on the paper plate on the cement. We people guests had hot dogs, chips, people ice cream and we shared a large cookie that said happy birthday to the dogs.

For the people guests

Jake gets busy filling up everyone's drinks. He always likes to be busy to feel normal I think. My hubby likes to feel normal by not using his walker and with conversation of events that probably didn't happen or are distorted at best. Jake will repeat himself more than my husband will, but they do say that every person with Alzheimer's is different. The friendship between Jake and my husband is so very fascinating to Sally and myself. 

I do wonder how long we will be able to enjoy outings. I think of my friend's words--you got to do what you got to do. I also think of the poem DO THE NEXT THING as a great motto these days. See this poem HERE.

UPDATES 

• Kenny's mother is having surgery in Orlando for possible cancer. Please pray for her. 
• I am in the process of replacing the items in my wallet--more on these adventures later.
• Plumbing issues are being addressed. Have to get the same plumber back to fix the water softener to help with the rust from our well water. Indoor problems are solved. 
• Pharis and his kids have worked in the yard and he has fixed the hole in the garage ceiling I made when my leg went through the roof last December. 
• Let me know if you wish to be in a Blogging Tour where I introduce you to three blogging friends and then they introduce me to three of their own blogging friends.