It Depends: If You Care to Read This

Spoiler alert. 




If I would be a nice person, I would not write about this subject. Incontinence is not a nice subject. However I am a kind wife who has to address an issue bravely and this blog is all about one wife's brave journey (and all her distractions such as eyebrows and quilts) as a caregiver who has had lots of surprises along the way.

Because he walks so slowly now, my husband was not making it to the bathroom--it was bound to happen. So far my hubby has not wrecked a mattress, a couch or a car seat by peeing. I am trying to be proactive here, folks.

When we were on vacation, Kenny suggested I buy a product I had not bought before. Buy Depends, he said. Well, the closest drug store where we were, Rite Aid,  didn't have the night time Depends--only the daytime pad to put in boxer briefs. However, I came to see that the Rite Aid nighttime product works great day and night. It's called Rite Aid Adult Protection Briefs for Men & Women.  On line it costs $9.99 for a pack of 14 bought on line. At times we use Depends for Men Guard with his underwear, but that doesn't always work and the Rite Aid Protection full underwear is the working great so far.

We do not have Rite Aid Drug stores in Plant City, so I have ordered some on line. They will be about 85 cents a piece because I ordered several packages and the shipping is free with a promotion for products over $50.

In the middle of the night recently I noticed that hubby was in the master bathroom.  He had a big pile of loose poop in his Rite Aid product. I remarked that these underpants do a good job--nothing was on the floor. 

Hubby said to be quiet—someone might hear me. 

Who? I wanted to know. We are home alone and no one else is in our house. 

So you see my husband really has deteriorated both physically and mentally. No one was staying at our home and maybe he thought he was still at my brother's house. 

Today when I told his doctor about the incontinence, the doctor said that hubby could go on a low dose of OXYBUTYNIN. He is starting on 1/2  of a 5 MG tablet twice a day. The side effects are dry mouth. Bingo! This side effect will get hubby drinking more water, green tea and cranberry juice to prevent UTIs!!!! 

We have a wonderful small pharmacy in Plant City. When I went there to fill the Oxybutynin, they gave me a free pack of LEADER Protective Underwear and they look just as good and they even have a blue line in the back.  If I like them or the Rite Aid brand or any other band, they will stock them for us! Will try the LEADER out and comment both on the medicine and the LEADER brand vs. the RITE AID brand on a comment on this post. Why they even cut the tablets in half for me! 

Should you use Depends? It depends. For now I'm sticking with Rite Aid Adult Protection (or LEADER) for day and night. My husband is happy with this.

Brill's "Alzheimer's Disease" for young people

The Marshall Cavendish Corporation has produced a series of books I discovered in substituting in a Plant City middle school. While the media specialist talked with the eighth graders about primary sources, I discovered a secondary source library book. The books in the 616 section of the library by this publisher included: Asthma, Depression, Heart Disease, Juvenile Diabetes, Lung Cancer and Alzheimer ’s Disease.

While the two children’s books I reviewed earlier here (The Memory Box and What's Happening to Grandpa) are helpful, Marlene Targ Brill’s Alzheimer’s Disease is a 2005 copyright book with much helpful information for grades six and older. We need this book to help our young people understand dementia. Mrs. Brill carefully covers the basics of the disease in 57 pages with a glossary, organizations and other references that follow.

Chapter 1 What Is It Like to Have Alzheimer’s Disease? Adam has grandmother with it and Jose’s grandfather has it. This chapter gets the young person into the topic. I do find many young people in middle school and high school are acquainted with Alzheimer's and at times I am able to talk about my husband's illness and the illness of their relatives.

Chapter 2 What is Alzheimer’s Disease? In a simple way Brill explains plaques, tangles, who might get AD, what are warming signs, how is it diagnosed, and what are the stages. This chapter has a picture of an EEG, a CAT scan and an MRI. She does not deal with two areas: 1) dementia distinctions (Alzheimer’s is the most common dementia); and 2) the latest research, although she does hint at studies in chapter four.

Chapter 3 The History of Alzheimer’s Disease. In 1907 German physician Alois Alzheimer was first to discover the disease. The section on new discoveries are not so relevant, but we do need budding young scientists to dream of cures for dementia, cancer and other diseases. Science and medicine can come alive for young people.

Chapter 4 Dealing with Alzheimer’s Disease. Cholinesterase inhibitors are described, but not Namenda. The suggestion is that aspirin might prevent AD. Old information is in the book; for example, ginkgo biloba is heralded:

Studies in the United States have shown that the extract improves thinking, memory, and behavior in people who have AD ( p. 44).

However, this is not true as Science Daily points out here. The moss extract huperzine A and fat from cow brains are also mentioned as possible help. Huperzine A has been used in China for centuries, and I found this resource here. What about fat from cow brains or hospatidylserine? The Mayo Clinic says some about this here.  However, improvements in memory lasted only a few months and were seen in people with the least severe symptoms.

The next sections, “Helping the Person with Alzheimer’s” and “Helping Caregivers” provide general reliable information, but of course more can be added—the benefits of exercise and socialization, for example.

With the exception of the outdated research in chapter four, I highly recommend this book for a young person and hope the publishers will revise it.

On another note, I am considering advertising books I have reviewed here or will review on this blog. Some reviews I already put on Amazon.  Advertisement could help provide income for a blog that I work hard at providing as I take this Alzheimer's journey with my husband and with others. What do you think, gentle reader? Feedback needed. Thanks. Advertise?

Also, thanks to you all who helped support the team I was on for today's November 3, 2012 Alzheimer's Association Walk around Lake Hollingsworth in Lakeland, Florida. Funds will still be collected on this blog for two more weeks. You can contribute with the link at the top right until November 17th.

If you have "liked" Plant City Lady and Friends on Facebook (top right), you can see pictures of my facilitator "Ann" and our friends "Sally and Jake" and my husband and myself.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Fats



Husband Gets Coconut Oil With His Chocolate, Applesauce and Breakfast to Go

Not to paraphrase The LORD's Prayer, with Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread, but we do need fats along with bread (wheat if possible). When I joined Weight Watchers in the 1970s, you were not allowed fats. Today in Weight Watchers with their "healthy food guidelines" you must have 2 tsp. of fats per day. I often put in on my thin bagel for breakfast. There is even a book called Eat Fat Lose Fat. I have that book, but don't tell because I have enough books loaned out.

But what kind of fats? Lisa, in her post "The Complete Guide to Fats and Oils--What to Cook With (or not), What to Avoid and Why" here at the Read Food Digest spells it all out. Of course coconut oil takes the prize so to speak. Lydia, in her post "The Benefits of Taking Coconut Oil" here at Why I Have a Coconut Oil Fetish lists these benefits from The Coconut Oil Miracle a book I have loaned out now. The book by Dr. Newport Altzheimer's Disease: What If There Were a Cure? where she explained how coconut oil helps dementia is also loaned out. People in my life can't get enough of oil literature.

The easiest way to get coconut oil (about 2 TBSP. per day) in my husband’s diet is for him to have it melted with chocolate chips--dark chocolate when I can get it. I have written about that elsewhere on this blog and he gets two coconut fudge for breakfast as pictured above and two for lunch.

What is the skinny (or the fat) on coconut oil? Here are some ideas from Lydia again on her coconut oil fetish quoting her post:

• "The body can use coconut oil for energy more rapidly and efficiently than any other fat source. Special fats in coconut (called medium-chain fatty acids, MCFA's) are not normally stored in your body as fat. Instead, they're quickly converted to energy."
• "Small amounts of the MCFA's in coconut oil are used in the complex processes that enable cells to communicate with each other."
• "People in countries where coconut is an important part of the diet has lower rates of heart disease and cancer than Americans."
• "The fats in coconut help fight infections of all kinds."

Lydia also notes from The Coconut Oil Miracle that:

• "Improves digestion and absorption of other nutrients including vitamins, minerals, and amino acids."
• "Helps relieve symptoms and reduce health risks associated with diabetes.
• "Helps protect against osteoporosis."
• "Supports tissue healing and repair."
• "Helps prevent periodontal disease and tooth decay."
• "Is utilized by the body to produce energy in preference to being stored as body fat like other dietary fats.
• "Has no harmful or discomforting side effects." You do have to build up to taking it, however, or you will get diarrhea. Plus it is expensive, so you want to treat it like gold.
• "Is completely non-toxic to humans."

Lydia also adds in her fetish post a list of ideas for getting it. I realized from her list that I can put the tsp. that I measure it with in my coffee to help rinse it. She doesn't deal with Alzheimer's as Dr. Newport does, however. I do remember that Dr. Newport in her inspiring book tells of a day when Steve Newport, her husband with Early Onset Diabetes, was agitated, a common problem for dementia patients. She game him coconut oil and he calmed down. My husband doesn't take any drugs to calm him down.

So, folks, this is why Plant City Lady and Friends also has a coconut oil fetish. Will I use other fats? Yes, we use real butter and olive oil all the time. Sometimes I combine coconut oil, butter and olive oil to sauté foods. Great! You can refer to Lisa's post above for good fats and oils and the ones to avoid.


Saute vegetables in good oil



Vascular Dementia Can Be Avoided

My husband was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer's by a neurologist in September of 2010 as I wrote earlier. Recently I asked his primary care physician if it might only be Vascular Dementia and he said that we will only know with an autopsy.

Lifestyle can make a difference in whether someone gets Vascular Dementia or not. Last Friday I went to an Alzheimer's Association workshop in our area. One workshop presenter was a young nurse who when she was only 14 took care of her late Grandmother who had Vascular Dementia. This inspired this young lady to go into nursing and to reflect and research on Vascular Dementia.  She said that blood vessel damage to the brain is what causes this disease. One gets this disease by lifestyle choices that might be avoided. She has been losing weight she said.

Here are the lifestyle issues that she said predict who gets Vascular Dementia.

• History of heart attack, strokes or mini strokes

• Atherosclerosis

• High cholesterol HD and LDL under 100

• High blood pressure

• Type 2 Diabetes

• Smoking

I will have been married to my husband twelve years this month. In 2004 he had a heart attack, heart surgery, and contracted type 2 diabetes. He gave up smoking many years ago. He also has had carotid artery surgery shortly after the heart surgery. Hence he was a candidate for Vascular Dementia.

Many of the above conditions can be avoided with weight loss. I have never smoked, but I have had problems maintaining weight loss and regaining weight. After my husband started going downhill with dementia, he lost weight and I put on weight due to emotional eating. But this has changed recently with my rejoining Weight Watchers. I am determined to have the best possible health in my senior years and to not be one of those 60% of caregivers who die before their loved one with dementia dies. My doctor has been so pleased with my weight loss and the great blood pressure and HD and LDL readings that she wants to see me only twice a year instead of four times a year now.

My diet is certainly going well, but Weight Watchers does emphasize exercise. I am hoping to find time to exercise, but so far the main exercise I can fit into the schedule is yard work. Ugh! Do love to jog, but have been told to only walk now and hubby doesn't feel safe with my walking in our safe neighborhood. When we go to the gym, my husband just watches me. I guess I just have to accept that he will do little exercise there and fit this into my busy schedule of having to do everything, make a living, arrange for taxes, etc. Maybe I can start with a once a week gym visit and spend more time on weeding for exercise.

Some Alzheimer's and dementias will come until we find cures, but the one we do know about can be avoided early on. We certainly do not need to be the couple where both of us have Vascular Dementia.

Activities for Alzheimer's Patients

Kay Paggi at this article writes:

“I believe activities are crucial to well-being. In the past ten years, research has shown that activities play a large part in preventing the progression of dementia. We also know that socializing prevents loneliness, despair and suicidal thoughts.”

My husband can enjoy a lot of sedimentary activities. He does need a pillow to sit on however. We even have one in the car. He is happy as long as his butt doesn't hurt, but he complains a lot if his butt hurts. Walking up steps strains him and he walks slowly. About a month ago he sat in a department store while I shopped. We should have taken that car pillow in because he was verrrry angry at how long it took me to buy something that was on sale. I did think a lot about the purchase, because our funds are limited.

So here is a rundown of last week's activities, while four and a half days I worked.

Sundays are full of church activities. We have a worship service and then most of us eat the noon meal we bring at our small church. Once a month it is a shared meal where we all contribute, but the rest of the time we bring out own meals. Sunday afternoon we have a counseling class that I have to attend since I am working on a seminary counseling degree. DH sits in a comfortable chair during that class.

Monday we went to a church seniors group where we ate the lunch we brought and watched the movie, "Courageous". We have this event once a month and I don't substitute teach that day so we can attend that event. Sally and Jake also went, but Jake had trouble with the movie. He said to Sally later, "Why would they show a movie at our church where a daughter died?" They did not see the whole movie.

Tuesday morning my husband had a doctor's appointment. I will brought up our need to have a neurologist, as Dr. Raj is no longer in our insurance group. The doctor said a neurologist is not needed at this time. Also, my husband's numbers were very good, dispelling thoughts that coconut oil is not good for a heart patient. No need for a cardiologist for a stress test he also said.

Tuesday afternoon  through Friday I substituted in public schools. When I retired from teaching, I did not realize my husband would have two kinds of dementia.

Wednesday night we went to Toastmasters where he is often asked to give the invocation at the beginning of the evening. He kept alert the whole meeting and loves to accompany me wherever I think I need to go for my safety. He knows and likes the people in the group.

Friday night we ate out with Jake and Sally at Applebees. They have 2 for $20 meals and Sally and I shared the spinach dip and chips and my hubby and Jake shared the cheese appetizers before our entrées. Jake and DH had the small ice cream cups for dessert. Then we were invited over to their home for decaf and to see the progress they had made organizing their home.  I called Sally and complimented her today on all they had done. She usually works only one day a week, and Jake is more dependent upon her. Jake is more ambitious than my husband, however, and they can work on home projects together.

Saturday I taught the first half of a class for DUI offenders in Florida. I have been teaching these classes part-time for maybe eight years. Now hubby got dressed up a little so we could go to a movie and dinner. We end up seeing "1000 Words" when "Hunger Games" was sold outl He didn't like the "1000 Words" movie.

Unlike Jake, hubby is self-sufficient while I am gone, because of his check list. He is getting better at putting in his false teeth in the morning so that I can leave knowing he has had breakfast and had food with his pills. As I get into our car, he picks up the dog and the three of us critters say goodbye. The routine is expected by our dog and I often kiss both hubby and dog before I leave. When they hear the garage door open in the afternoon they both greet me at the door.

One of the problems of finding activities for my husband is that I have a lot to do myself. I have had to do gardening this week--someone has to do it. My husband doesn't seem to be motivated to do things. Sometimes my husband will do things with me, and yet many times he is content to just let me do things. Sally and I have discussed how we married men who used to do a lot more, and now it is on our shoulders. I need to learn to use the riding mower, but so far my husband (or thoughtful neighbors) mows our 3/4 of an acre.

Increasingly my husband likes less noise and a simple pace of life. Sure I would like  him to go to senior center or do crossword puzzles. Sally and I think that if both of our husbands go to a senior center together it would work, but we haven't tested this hypothesis yet. Hubby is happy and has many options for watching TV--videos, DVDs and cable TV. He also socializes very easily with people.

We always take turns praying at night before we go to sleep. Hubby prays when the date is odd, and I pray when it is even. As I have noted before, I always love his prayers and the fact the LORD is watching our Alzheimer's journey.

Do Not Go Gently

Famous lines from Dylan Thomas poem

Do not go gently into that good night. . . Rage, rage against the dying light.

I find my husband actively combating his dementia. He has a small notebook where we write down procedures such has how to use the three remote controls for TV, DVD and VCR, how to use the GNP unit, how to use the cell phone. He writes on the four switch light switch plate--garage, dining room, family room and kitchen. Signs have appeared on the recyclable bins. This minimizes his frustration.

Frustration does come, however. Yesterday he couldn't find his keys. We couldn't leave the house until he found them, even though we could have used my keys.

We did find them in time to leave. We had such an enjoyable day in Orlando. We had one event in the morning and then went to an outlet mall and Downtown Disney. The last of the big spenders since we are on a tight budget we enjoyed just shopping and seeing the crowds. We had lunch, bought a gift for a grandchild and then had hot cocoa. Unhurried the day. We stopped on the way home at Home Depot for bird feed and Publix for a few groceries.

Earlier in the week we did errands before my dental appointment. He enjoys being retired and I enjoy having my husband to pal around with! Whereas last summer trips of any sort of trip were stressful for him and he couldn't wait to get home, since coconut oil I find him "not going gently into the night."

Brain Exercises

http://www.everydayhealth.com/longevity/mental-fitness/brain-exercises-for-memory.aspx