Aha Moments in My Caregiving

Not to sound like a braggadocio, but my hubby was great and knew he had a problem. I had to change and learned to take those changes in stride. 

Caregiving.com asked for seven caregiving moments. I actually took the time to read through a lot of this blog. 

One 

Meeting another couple I call “Sally and Jake” (their names on my blog about my husband’s Mixed Dementia) and our doing things together so the Alzheimer’s husbands bonded. Meanwhile Sally and I had support from each other when we did things together. Our husbands went to a senior center together and this would not have happened if they had not first bonded. Jake is not able to go to the senior center without my husband because they used to do this together. 

Two

Using coconut oil that seemed to calm my husband, although it didn’t cure the disease as he passed away June 23 of this year. 

Three

The realization that I was in training since I couldn’t control his disease. I had to change and I often didn’t feel at home in our home because I had to make so many adjustments.

Four

 Handling difficult issues such as driving. I worried and worried. In the end after passing two Alzheimer’s driving tests funded here in Florida, my husband decided on his own that he wished to be a passenger.

Five

 Dealing with Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs) and incontinence.

Six

The medical community not understanding my husband’s not being able to walk. At first they thought it was a torn ligament. Then arthritis. A chiropractor helped until several months before he died. Really, not walking is part of a later stage of the disease.

Seven

The incredible help of Hospice so he could die at home and the amazing help of volunteers such as Kenny and Pharis that enabled me to keep working until several months before he died.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

I am so glad that I decided to keep blogging after my husband was diagnosed. I look back on so much life that we participated in even after that diagnosis. I am so grateful to our LORD for taking me through, even as I grieve now for my husband. 

Kudos for Outstanding Help

Kenny and nurse

Thursday night hubby and I 

visited Kenny in the hospital. 

DH used his walker and then 

inside the hospital the staff 

provided a wheel chair to 

Kenny's room and then back 

to our car. 

Incredibly when Kenny got out of the hospital Friday morning, Kenny came over to fix hubby's lunch. Today, Saturday, Kenny remembered that the First Baptist volunteer group, "Second Saturday", were coming this morning to install five grab bars for our two bathrooms. You may remember earlier HERE that Lowes and Home Depot would not send anyone out and we were trying Safe-er Grip, Balance Assist and, frankly, that wasn't working since hubby kept having problems walking and grips with suction cups would come off the tile. 

Where was I this morning? I was teaching a class for first-time drivers and I could not get out of teaching it. So dependable Kenny, in pain after his gall bladder surgery, came over this morning to help the volunteers know where to install the Moen Home Care Grab Bars. 

The previous seat HERE hubby rejected--he wasn't used to the Moen Home Care Locking Elevated Toilet Seat With Support Handles. Now there are two small grab bars in one bathroom above and three in the bath where hubby showers and shaves.

A grab bar at the right ushers DH into the bathroom. A slanted one helps him get up from the toilet and into the shower. A grab bar on the wall in the shower has his wash cloths. 

Could I get him to shower today? No. He is exhibiting strange behavior now. Perhaps Kenny will be well enough to help him shower and shave tomorrow before church. Kenny you may recall has him sit on the toilet seat while he is shaved and then skillfully moves him into the shower.

Meanwhile I am writing a post on hallucinations, delusions and delirium and watching hubby go downhill, sadly. I am also working on my dissertation on being dementia caregiver. 

Another Hospital Trip



Picture of sitcom from link below

I got one of those cries this morning from the bedroom:

I've fallen and can't get up.

It was 6:30 am approximately and sure enough he was on his rear end. I put in a text to my back yard neighbor Kenny who came over. I got on the computer and canceled substituting for the day. Two hours later hubby was in a non-emergency ambulance on the way to Plant City Baptist Hospital ER again.

I drove to ER and I went into ER Room 7 with my iPhone and charger and had friends all over praying. I texted hubby's adult children. I posted a status on Facebook. I texted people who do not do Facebook. I chatted with Facebook friends who play Words With Friends with me on the iPhone or on Facebook. Kerry from church put out email prayer to every one at church.

Again many things were checked out. Hubby had a head scan which is standard procedure for falls with seniors and he hadn't fallen because of a stroke. Xrays revealed that there was no broken bones. His urine was checked and not another UTI, although I didn't think so because he wasn't acting like he had in April. Near noon hubby was released to go home. A nurse helped get hubby into our gas guzzler car--so high up.She went to get someone else to help.

Nurse: How will you get him in the house?

Me: That’s why we came to the hospital.

At home hubby deboarded the car and used the walker and painfully made it to a spot on the couch where I usually sit which has a pullout for elevating one's feet.

Left spot has leg elevation pullout,
Right spot is hubby's Archie Bunker spot.

Later in the afternoon, hubby longed for his Archie Bunker spot. He got stuck at the end of the pullout which we can't get to fold up. There was about an hour of debating how he would get up. 

My husband has a favorite spot across from the big TV like Archie Bunker had above  in the 1970s sitcom. See Archie's chair HERE.  Archie's  son-in-law Mike "Meathead" once broke it, or once sat in it, etc. This sitcom chair was legendary and I believe is in the Smithsonian. Even though hubby could have been comfortable watching TV with his leg elevated at the left spot, it was not his spot opposite his special coffee table with all his stuff. He felt he had to move.

Kenny was not home because he was volunteering elsewhere as an Alzheimer's caregiver, but Kerry had kept in touch with me by text and had her husband Dave come by after his work to help hubby get up and over to his spot. In addition to the walker Dave helped him use crutches which I happened to have to move the few inches. Now teaching someone with Alzheimer’s something new like the use of crutches is difficult. Thanks, Dave.

It was time for bed and Kenny's brother-in-law came over to get hubby off of his spot and into bed. Unlike the whole afternoon, however, suddenly hubby was able to walk. I think it was the magic of his Archie Bunker spot which he insisted on sitting in and of course the prayers of you all who knew of this ER trip. And the ice and the elevation somehow made hubby's right leg better and this morning he is walking. I wondered why in the ER they didn't elevate and ice right away.

This brings up the point of falls and avoiding them. I have put a chair by the bed where hubby fell yesterday and he has accepted this change of furniture. He still has an ace bandage on his knee to remind him of the fall and limps a little.

Chair by bed for safety,
Almost looks like Archie's chair.

Beginning Area #8 of The House That Cleans Itself

He who gathers in summer is a wise son;

He who sleeps in harvest is a son who causes shame.  Proverbs 10:5 

If it is the problem of paper clutter inside the house, it is the problem of weeds in the front of the house. Many years my husband and I would get control of the weeds, and then those weeds would take over again. Now he only mows the grass on occasion and the lawn mower is broken. I am concerned about the front yard and my abilities to conquer the weeds.

This would be taken over by weeds by summer.

Last summer I took up the scalloped bricks seen above. I started to think about what do do here. Grow grass seemed to be the solution.

Jake took out the black edging thing. (I do not have proper names for gardening products, folks.) Hubby threw it over the fence into a pasture for cows (I wrote about his deed here) and I have to retrieve it somehow and bag it so the trash people actually take it.

Now I am armed with weed control and new strategies. Fifteen minutes a day on weeds so they don't take over the front yard again another year. But not to be. Alas, I get a new small spray can for weed killer, but can't make this small one work or the other two I found in the garage.

Weed busters?

Pots. Make vignettes or yard art and pots of shrubs rather than even have flower beds I'm thinking.

Lowered shower bench helps gardening

In the process I break two pots, but dig up plants to use where I can. 



Repotted, but not sure it will last



Dug up and repotted

 

Forget flower beds--have pots I am thinking

The sad one above (third from left) is what I dug up to replant. A neighbor didn't know that is was a shrub because he was mowing all the weeds.

All of this seems hopeless to me, as hopeless as entering a writing contest about guns which actually came in my e-mail--got to be a joke. Yes--writing. No--guns. Yes--gardening. No--weeds.

But now the weeds will grow because I wasn't able to spray with any of these contraptions! Martha Stewart or someone! Where are you when I need you!

So much of gardening is above my pay grade and obviously I need help and will have to learn to ask for help. With carpal tunnel I cannot spend hours pulling weeks and my quick fix spraying isn't working yet. I am afraid the weeds will again take over our front yard!

Amateur wanta-be gardener signing off here,

Carol

Senior Citizen Complains About Technological Change

They already know my name, why do they need my email password?

Invalid username and/or password. Please enter your email password, not your LinkedIn account password.

So I get a notice that I didn't respond to _______'s request on LinkedIn six days ago. It looks like in the above picture there are 26 other things I missed. So LinkedIn will let me respond to her if I give them my email password. Are you kidding! Then they can spam all my email friends!  Let's see where this LinkedIn complaint goes. The most popular post on Plant City Lady and Friends with 2515 this morning is my complaint about an ad for "Brain Health and Memory Kit " here, LinkedIn--are you listening?  

It is so complicated these days. You almost need a chart for:

• Friends who only do Facebook
• Friends who only do Facebook games
• Friends who do Facebook chat and messaging only
• Friends who tweet on Twitter (I certainly do not)
• Friends who only text
• Friends who only do email
• Friends who say they do not read blogs after you spend time on a post and wonder if you should just do the extra step of copying it for them and putting it in an e-mail
• Friends who say just call but their message line is full because they don't return calls
• Friends who have several phone numbers and you forget which one to use
• Friends with a combination of the above
• Friends who don't understand how difficult it is to talk on the phone with the Alzheimer's hubby present and why blogging and texting is cool for me

I can hear the music in my head.  "Who ya gonna call?" and the answer in the old film is "Ghostbusters". But now it is how do I contact someone? Can't you just come over and chat on the front porch?

I do need prayer today with specific requests and for

the really difficult journey of caregivng for an Alzheimer’s husband.

And there are specific things you can do for us. 

   

Carol