15 Ways I Am Very Much at Home After My Move

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There are a few prayer requests sprinkled in this list of 15, but I am glad I moved here. I almost feel like I am on vacation, as for 30 years I have gone back to visit Huntsville at least once a year. 

1. Apartment management

My apartment dishwasher overflowed. Dog Ziggy and I walked to up tell the apartment office. By the time we had walked home, the issue was solved. 

2. New friends

Yesterday I got invited after the worship service to go to lunch. I met a few new people, but knew many of the seniors at the table. 

3. Old friends

I am enjoying daily contact with Word With Friends on my iPhone. Most of us chat. Pray for Pharis and Kenny and their medical conditions. Pharis had a stroke. Kenny will be having a liver transplant at some point. 

4. Slow weight loss

My weight has been slowly coming off since 2012. For two years during the end of my husband's life, I didn't go to Weight Watchers, because I needed to have time with him and to work part-time. During that time I gained 10 pounds back. Now in total I have lost over 40 pounds. 

5. Toastmasters

I have rejoined Mason Dixon Toastmasters after a 30-year absence. My first husband and I were members of this club when we lived in Huntsville. Yes, I buried two husbands in Florida in the last 30 years.

6. Family

The whole reason I moved back to Huntsville was to live my family who have been there for me over these 30 years. I had the privilege of taking care of two of my niece's children for several days recently, while both of their parents were out of town. 

7. New doctor

My brother told his doctor who doesn't take new patients that I was moving into town. This doctor made an exception and I now have new Medicare insurance for Alabama and will see that doctor later in the month. My new plan here includes dental cleaning twice a year and vision. 

8. Closeness of places I drive to and the gas savings

I live closer to Weight Watchers, Toastmasters and the church I attend than I did in Florida. I also live close to these stores, although I can mainly window shop now and am SO OVER buying stuff except groceries: major mall, GNC, Bed Bath and Beyond, Ross, Dress Barn, movie theatre, Barnes and Noble, Marshals, Hobby Lobby, Kirkland's, Panera Bread, Michaels, Stein Mart, T J MAX, Firestone, Applebees, Talbots, Cracker Barrel, and Hancock Fabrics. I do not live close to Sam's and second hand stores, but maybe that is a good thing. 

9. Downsizing

I am pleased that I have storage for stuff and continue to find things to give away. I have borrowed a family shredder and need to work slowly on paper shredding. I have too many clothes and it is fun to decide what I am taking in to fit me better and what I am donating to the Salvation Army. 

10. Lawn being mowed back home

My late husband's Plant City daughter posted the above picture on Facebook. I am very concerned about all the rain in Florida. The sale of the house will soon be completed. I got chewed out by Plant City neighbors there several weeks ago about the height of my lawn. Pharis had a stroke and he couldn't mow it; pray for his medical condition. Pharis' landlord and Pharis did come out, however, and mowed the lawn recently. But yesterday there was 8 inches of rain in Plant City and although they wanted to come out to mow the lawn, they couldn't. Pray that the sale of the house (which is still in the process going through) in the midst of all that rain.  

11. Two churches

I do miss my Florida church where I am keeping membership. Going to mail a gift card there today for a baby shower there. My Florida church is connected with a seminary where I am getting my counseling dissertation on caregiving. I enjoy hearing my outstanding Florida pastor by podcast. 

I am however getting acquainted in the church I am attending here, including teaching Vacation Bible School which helped me meet people of more ages than just the seniors. 

12. Substitute teaching

School is scheduled to start tomorrow here--August 4th. They haven't gotten the form for my fingerprinting yet, so don't know when I will actually start substituting. 

13. New bank

I selected a new "personal banker" at Redstone Federal Credit Union and she has been very helpful. I am starting to bank on line again. There was some delay getting my Florida teacher's retirement, but that has been solved as of July 31. 

14. New vet

Ziggy and I like the new vet. He went for his yearly shots while I went to Weight Watchers on Saturday, August 1st. He was under the weather the rest of Saturday and on Sunday his vet called to check on him and explained that the shot for the rabies could have caused that. She said to give it another day and sure enough Ziggy is back to his old self, going on a long walk this morning. 

15. My faith

I am very grateful for my Christian faith and daily time in God's Word. Of course a Christian is not always politically correct in today's society, but my faith does sustain this widow. 

Getting My Momentum Back

Tuesday I had a lovely breakfast with Kristi who understands grieving from her own path of suffering. She is giving back however. She and her husband have taken in the husband's disabled sister and twenty-something Kristi is making the best of the situation, gradually getting her momentum back. Kristi shared Scripture with me that has helped her and suggested after discipline (doing things she didn't have the momentum to do) the feelings of wanting to take care of her home and sister-in-law came back. Here we were two women almost fifty years in age difference relishing how the LORD is helping us.

Even though it is hard, it is time I get my momentum back after being a caregiver and becoming a widow. Thankful I am able-bodied. START and the spunk will come back.

Here are my 15 momentum starter strategies and things I am thankful for: 

1. Rejoining Weight Watchers. Food still can be fun. I am in no way perfect with my diet, but enjoy the 7 am Weight Watcher group I am in. 
2. Studying my sleep patterns with the Weight Watchers Active Link.Planning 30 minute naps. See HERE. 
3. Having a week off to get things done (November 24-28) and to be there for Sally whose car is in the shop. 
4. Getting on the treadmill. Walked on the cruise and three miles at the Alzheimer's Association WALK TO END ALZHEIMER'S.
   
5. Having yard sales and very conscious of what still needs to leave the house to be able to downside for a move maybe sometime in the next ten years. Meanwhile trying to take care of business at the house including home repairs. 
6. Writing raps again. After a year of not writing raps, finally wrote one and am testing it out when I substitute teach. The topic, "children having children", was a suggestion from an 18-year-old high school boy. He wanted someone to speak up on this topic.  The students so far like it. Meanwhile very shortly ten of my recorded raps will be on YouTube to add to the other three videos. 
7. Taking the anti-depressant Paxil every three days now instead of daily as at the start. In December I will not take this anti-depressant. 
8. Giving back. I daily email other caregivers. I am tutoring Esteban. 
9. Taking time for others. Went to a movie with another widow recently. 
10. Making a list of what I am thankful for and telling people. Went out and thanked my mail lady Connie. 
11. Planning ahead for Christmas. 
12. Keeping a ridged budget and attempting to refinance the house so I can pay off credit cards.  
13. Arranging my workspace for the dissertation on caregiving. Started working on it again after months of doing nothing on it. 
14. Being able to clean the floors. (My husband used to do this for the first years of our marriage and it has been hard for me emotionally to do it.)
15. Making progress with managing grief and being thankful. 

Giving Thanks For Fifteen Again

1. Hubby is walking again around the house. He willing uses a walker when we go out. When we seniors fall, it can mean broken bones and I am grateful he accepts that walker. 
2. Chiropractors that helped hubby walk.
3. Kenny who has come into our lives last spring. Kenny is a remarkable volunteer caregiver who enables me to continue to work. At the beginning of November, despite his own surgery, Kenny has continued to be there for us, and has even brought his mom into the picture. We are so grateful for these neighbors.
4. Wayne and now Pharis who have taken up the challenge of our 7/10 of an acre. Hubby doesn't think a wife should mow the lawn, and the front and back yards were the place where in my blogging through the book The House That Cleans Itself  I have been hung up. 
5. Professionals such as Carole Larkin and Dr. Mary Newport. 
6. Support from The Alzheimer's Association.
7. Our friends Sally and Jake (not their real names).
8. The Plant City Senior Center where Jake and hubby go one day a week. 
9. Bloggers who regularly comment on this blog and who provide fun and inspiration for me when I read their blogs. I would name you all, but I might forget someone. 
10. Students I substitute for who provide such hope for the future and who have encouraging my becoming MC AC The Rap Lady. 
11. My niece and nephew who started my YouTube rapping channel.
12. Progress on my seminary counseling dissertation on caregiving even as I battle caregiving issues myself and people who provide feedback for that dissertation. 
13. Having out-of-town guests for Thanksgiving.
14. Having a great dog, Ziggy, that is a wonderful companion for my husband and me.
15. My faith that sustains. For example, I am so grateful for the LORD's sustaining us through hospital trips for me in 2012 and for hubby in 2013.

Last year I posted 15 I am thankful for HERE  and I continue to be grateful for items on that list.

Also last year I posted 15 things a caregiver can do 

to be joyful HERE 

and it has received over 750 views. 

That's a lot on JOY this lowly blog 

has spread around!

15 Things I Like About the House That Cleans Itself

A donut tray

When I was substituting recently in high school culinary arts, I saw one of these things that Mindy Starns Clark likes up close, not just a picture in a book. Nope! Still do not want one of these in my house.

However, I do love fifteen things about the book The House That Cleans Itself by Mindy Starns Clark:

One. Hubby has gotten into the act and doesn't have problems finding things. He asked for a hat rack for his baseball caps and of course he got one.

Two. The coat hook in the living room by the piano works for hubby.

Three. The DVD "coffee table" we got at Ikea works for hubby and really if I hadn't started thinking along these lines, we could have never gotten it.

Four. I file broadly now. It is so much faster. The detailed filing can come monthly or whenever, and meanwhile it looks neat. All my tax information is together now and ready for the accountant.

Five. I make myself repair things as best I can within our limited funds. I go to Home Depot and Lowes now.

Six. I have permission to throw away all those magazines I haven't read. Who says I need to keep stuff for a potential yard sale that may never happen?! I can also give things away to people who can use them for real.

Seven. I keep cleaning supplies in rooms where I need them. Well I plan to, but haven't gotten to my "spring cleaning" yet. Each room will have its own cleaning list of what needs to be done and how long it takes.

Eight. If I have to have a cleaning service, which I have had twice in the last six months because of my back and carpal tunnel wrists, I do not have to clean up for them first.

Nine. I store everything where I use it and that saves so much time.

Ten. This works better for me initially than Flylady, although she has influenced me more recently with the 15 minute hot spot idea. I am better ready for Flylady after Mrs. Clark's book.

Eleven. I can have projects in process but just keep them hidden. I love having designated a temporary photo album table in the guest bedroom.

Twelve. I can live with imperfection. So many good-looking yards still have a few weeds.

Thirteen. There is hope that one can get a handle on the home clutter and messes.
Fourteen. There is a secret Facebook group as suggested by blogging friend Laurie where we discuss our messes and successes. You can join when you read the book if I am a Facebook friend of yours and you request this.

Fifteen. Author Mrs. Clark sent me fifteen copies of these books for fifteen ladies--you know who you are. Fifteen is a perfect number here because I have not felt so alone in this journey.

What do you like about this system?

Carol

15 Things I Am Thankful For

I am thankful for:

1. Our veterans on this Veterans' Day and my country, state, county and city and elected officials that I can now pray for. Friday at the school where I substituted there was a wonderful, long Veteran's Day Assembly. The students here in Plant City were very attentive at this assembly. Essays were read. A young lady with an awesome voice sang the Star Spangled Banner, and a Vice Principal also sang a patriotic song.  A Power Point show of veterans connected with the school students and staff was shown. This school is having a Christmas program next month--I know because I saw it on the white board in the band class. No "Winter Program".
2. My husband's great attitude and taking one day at a time. We should all do that--take one day at a time.
3. That Alzheimer's is causing me to hold on to my Christian faith in new ways. I am more confident than ever that the LORD will see me through.
4. That Alzheimer's is bringing self-discipline into my life with time management.
5. That Alzheimer's is making me more health conscious so I can be his caregiver/lovegiver all his days and not die first myself. I have lost weight through Weight Watchers and am walking two to three times a week.
6. That Alzheimer's is forcing me to organize our home. When I retired, I thought plenty of time. But our days are numbered and I have to do this now. It feels great to finally have a strategy for doing it thanks to the wisdom of The House That Cleans Itself.
7. That my husband in 2009, even after his early diagnosis, helped edit Getting Off the Niceness Treadmill, the book I had it in me to write. If it didn't make sense to him, what I wrote, it had to be edited.
8. That we survived a crash with a DUI driver that left us with only one car; that my husband decided to just be a passenger a year ago. There is now no car at home here in the country for him to drive away in and he loves our dog and home.
9. That we have camping memories and have gone to Orlando theme parks.
10. Sally and Jake who are on a similar journey with Jake's Alzheimer's. I love how our husbands have bonded and enjoy each other.
11. The Plant City Senior Center---pray that our husbands accept going there. I am so grateful to Sally for getting us into this. Her mother once went there.
12. Going out of town to visit relatives in December while we can do this.
13. The Alzheimer's Association support group and our two facilitators there.
14. That I can still work to pay off credit cards because one day I may not be able to work.
15. My blogging friends.

15 Things Caregivers Can Do to Be Joyful

The Purpose Fairy has written "15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy" and the Huffington Post (calls itself the GPS for the Soul) has widely circulated it--click here.

Joy is the term I will use here instead of happiness.  I use kind, rather than nice. Joy and kind are in the Bible. But I will look at 15 main headings from the above post and make my comments or insert Pinterest graphics after them.

1. Give up your need to always be right. Do not argue with an Alzheimer’s patient. My husband found a Renuzit Aroma room deodorant in his workshop and he took it out, saying it didn’t belong there. It’s okay with him if it is in the main part of the house, but not his workshop. Oh well! I can joyfully go in there remembering that I don’t have to argue with him. There is a reason I put Renuzit there that doesn't make sense to him in his thinking and it just isn't that important.

2. Give up your need to control. But not always with this disease. I wrote a seminary counseling paper on the authority of an Alzheimer’s husband and concluded that, at times, I need to control to be the best helpmeet I can be with God’s help.

3. Give up on blame. I do not blame anyone for this disease and certainly not God.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Philippians 4:8 tells us to think on whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report. . . . to think on these things.  

5. Give up your limiting beliefs. Philippians 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

6. Give up complaining.

Philippians 2:14 from the Jewish New Testament says Do all things without kvetching [Yedish for complaining].

  7. Give up the luxury of criticism. With the stress of the elections coming and the stress of daily living it is easy to criticize. I want to be a lovegiver instead—to give warm fuzzies, not cold pricklies (a ‘70’s term from Claude Steiner).

8. Give up your need to impress others. Impressing is pure pride as Scripture says: For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world (1 John 2:16).

9. Give up your resistance to change.

I realized some time ago, that this journey of my husband's Mixed Dementia would mean a lot of change. I can hide my head in the sand, react to stress by emotional eating, or whatever, or I can research how I can be a good lovegiver/caregiver and give glory to God. This means lots of change that is coming down the pike. Change is growth.

10. Give up labels. I think that dementia issues do put limits on people, but they do not have to have labels. My loved one is not a disease, but a person. There are certain limitations he has, but disable does not mean unable.

 11. Give up on your fears.  My LORD knows how this will all end.

12. Give up your excuses.  This one is a hard one for me. I have to be more responsible now. Someone has to. I cannot say I am happy about my challenges, and would like to have excuses. And it is hard to ask for help as well.

13. Give up the past. This is so true. I live for each day and am thankful for what comes my way. Yesterday my husband mowed one half of the backyard, prompted by our neighbor mowing the front yard perhaps and my suggesting to him for several days it needed to be done.

14. Give up attachment. I love the lyrics by Michael Card in his song “Things We Leave Behind”:

Every heart needs to be set free
From possessions that hold it so tight
The freedom’s not found in the things that we own
But the power to do what is right
With Jesus our only possession
And giving becomes our delight
And we can’t imagine the freedom we find
For the things we leave behind.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.



I want to live so that one day the LORD will say well done, thou good and faithful servant and He won't expect me to be superwoman, just a woman abiding in Him.