"With a Little Help From My Friends"

I don't have a great singing voice, but what the heck! Two times I have sung these lyrics at Weight Watchers--once maybe five years ago and once in 2012. The karaoke version of it accompanies me and others who sing it with me. Now I am a life time Weight Watcher member, having made my goal maybe 40 years ago when you had to have liver once a week, didn't have to exercise, and couldn't eat fat at all. Weight Watchers has improved so much over the years. I love the newest point system (2012) and the 360 degrees current 2013 emphasis on Tracking, Spaces and Routines. This wise emphasis fits with so much of my life now--the house and the discipline of being a caregiver.

I  reflect that we need support groups and people in our life--a little help from our friends. So without further ado, here are my Weight Watcher lyrics to "With a Little Help From My Friends":

Once upon a time with big belly and hips
I lost some 50 unwanted pounds
Once a week liver for fake diamond chips
To Weight Watchers the first of many rounds
I get by with a little help from my friends.

Jamoca Almond Fudge from a place called Baskins
Can you strand up and look in mirrors?
With 3-D, First Place and thinking of Atkins
Try several diets over the years.
I get by with a little help from my friends
I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends
I’ll get slim with a little help from my friends.

Do I need any diet?
Not really I don’t think so
What I need is a “live it”
To Weight Watchers I go.

Where would you go for some common sense advice
At Weight Watcher’s meeting you’ll be gooving
With point calculator eat beans and rice
Remember to keep those hips movin’

I get by with a little help from my friends
I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends
I’ll get slim with a little help from my friends.

Do I need any diet?
Not really I don’t think so
What I need is a “live it”
To Weight Watchers I go.
I get by with a little help from my friends
I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends
I’ll get slim with a little help from my friends.

So great to be back at Weight Watchers for my 7 am Saturday morning meeting today. I hadn't been there in three weeks. I was down 6/10 of a pound, even though I had stopped tracking well after the holidays and being out of town. I expected to be up 5 pounds, but I guess Weight Watcher habits are rubbing off on me. The meeting was so inspirational and I just rejoiced at the victories of others. My weight loss has been slow, but my health benefits are tremendous--my exercise can improve, but not with my carpal tunnel now. I do want that health to be my husband's caregiver all his days and will continue to plan healthy meals for us.

Now if you follow this blog, you know that I wrote lyrics at the beginning of December to another song. "Southern Wonderland". I sang this song to friends and even strangers in December. For example, the next table at the Tampa Airport (before we departed for Christmas with my husband's son and family) all sang with me when I gave them printed copies of "Southern Wonderland". I talked about this last week and DH said he and Jake just hid when I sang in public at the airport. Now Jake wasn't at the airport restaurant, but Jake is so important to my husband. He is getting by with a little help from Jake, even if Jake isn't there!

I get by with help from Sally as well. Both Sally and I also get by with help from our monthly Alzheimer's Association meetings. DH knows what we go to, but Jake just thinks Sally and I have a Bible study that day.

Certainly New Years is a time to reflect on how we are getting by. Oprah is quoted as saying in new Weight Watcher literature,

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.

I get by with my Daily Audio Bible study and podcast. For maybe five years I have been going through the whole Bible by listening and often reading the selection. Today on the way to Weight Watchers (a 25 min. drive), I heard on the Daily Audio Bible podcast in my car about Abraham (the start of our current world problems) and the Beatitudes (Christ's example and Way).  Scripture and prayer help me bravely face being a caregiver. The LORD is my help.

This year I hope to add budgeting (especially knocking down credit card balances) to my life, even making gifts and quilts from some of the materials I already have as I cut down on the volume of stuff at the house. See The House That Cleans Itself posts. Not sure who will be my budgeting buddy. Any volunteers?

Check the Manual, Check the Playbook

Several years ago Linda Fisher wrote a post on hearing Coach Broyles and his family. The Coach has a Playbook for Alzheimer's Caregivers.See  http://earlyonset.blogspot.com/2010/04/bring-past-to-presentcoach-broyles.html

That playbook looked like a book I needed to read. Fortunately Karen later sent it to me. Karen's mom passes away from Alzheimer's and this book had helped her. We met when I started writing on her blog and she wrote here.

Playbook. Linda writes that the family treat each repeat question with respect as if it were the first question. Yep, I do that. I let my husband initiate conversations so I don't frustrate him. I prayed last night because it was my turn to pray on even days. Then he asked me to pray again because he forgot that I had. This was my precious time to tell our LORD new praise and requests even though I had prayed several minutes ago. We always hold hands when we pray at night.  I am writing my own playbook on what works with him.

Romans 8:1,9,16,17; Colossians 1:9,24; 2 Corinthians 1:5-7, 9:8; Psalm 41, 31:9-13; Leviticus 19:32; John 14:17, 16:13; Galatians 4:6; 1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19; 2 Timothy 1:14; and Ephesians 1:17 are some of the verses highlighted in this book.

Here is the poem from Coach Broyles Playbook for Alzheimer’s Caregivers (author unknown)

Do not ask me to remember.

Don't try to make me understand.

Let me rest and know you're with me.

Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I'm confused beyond your concept.

I am sad and sick and lost.

All I know is that I need you.

To be with me at all cost.

Do not lose your patience with me.

Do not scold or curse or cry.

I can't help the way I'm acting.

Can't be different 'though I try.

Just remember that I need you.

That the best of me is gone.

Please don't fail to stand beside me.

Love me 'til my life is done.

I will be there, sweetheart!

Dana's Husband, Steve, Passed Away Last Night

Dana reported on her blog the passing of her husband, Steve, last night in California. Steve had early-on-set Alzheimer's and recently she reported on Facebook his address where he would like out his remaining days as he had moved from their home this last year because his care was beyond Dana.

Let's all join in our sympathies to this remarkable woman and her family. We know that Steve now has a better address. Pray for Dana in the days ahead.

Reflections on Blogging for Four Years

My first post was 12/31/08. Somehow after four years Plant City Lady and Friends seems to have taken off--over 37,000 hits in four years according to Goggle and over 800 comments in four years.  Now some comments were by me (or NewKidontheBlogg the name I first used), There are 269 published posts and over a dozen waiting to be posted. When we were out-of-town last week, I blogged three times from my overflow of thoughts. Today I have added a new blog feature--a chronology at the top of this blog that I will add to from time to time. At times medical people find this blog and they may be interested in the progression of the disease.

Thank you, LORD, for all you have taken me through as I have reflected and written here and for the friends I have met on the computer who comment here or write books I love:

1. Barb started following this blog in maybe September of 2010. She writes "Cleaning Up the Clutter", a constant theme on this blog. This young mother is maybe 30 years younger than I am and she always tracks what I write. I think of her like a niece, but I can’t for the life of me remember how we met. We both love to write and she has patiently taught me Pinterest and invited me to some of her favorite blogs. One day Barb will be a published author and a syndicated columnist like Marianne Walsh is who also has joined this bog.

2. Marianne does "We Band of Mothers" blog and writes a parenting column for The Chicago Tribune. She always makes me laugh and often with her comments here lately. Her coauthored book, Epic Mom, is fresh off the press.  Recently Marianne asked me if I ever sleep. Yes, Marianne, I do sleep between 6-7 hours each night, and often blog after four hours of sleep. I have drafts I haven't even posted yet, written in the middle of the night. Maybe I should get back to organizing our master bedroom instead of writing, however.

3. Ruby just turned 50. Why am I at age 68 so lucky to have young friends? Ruby also cracks me up with her waiting with "bated breath” to see my housekeeping. Yes, Ruby, it has been two months since I have reported on area #4--the master bedroom. Ruby and I met on a Christian blog and have been following each other ever since. In fact, in 2009 she even wrote the Foreword to my book, Getting Off the Niceness Treadmill. She read every chapter before it went to press. She spells funny (honour) because she lives in Australia. We also play Wordscraper and now Words With Friends on Facebook and she is soooo good at these games, despite her funny spelling. I think we both cheat with sites like http://www.becomeawordgameexpert.com/.

4. I have interviewed caregivers Dolores, LaTane, Laurie. There are several others I also hope to interview--perhaps Dana and Karen who write here. Dana's husband is in his last days (pray). Karen was her late mother's cheerful and wise caregiver and  is now in the caregiving field I believe.

5. Then there are the authors: Joseph Potocny (who has Alzheimer's), and Christian authors Staci Eastin and Mindy Starns Clark who influence my de-cluttering journey. Linda Born wrote My Mom Has Alzheimer’s and is now about to come out with a novel The Children Are Tender.

6. Living on Less Money is so loyal to this blog and  always challenges me with questions to keep this blog going. I do so want to follow her example of wise frugal living.

Thanks to all of you and there are many others who have posted here including friends from church and even my Alzheimer's Association facilitator. When I know of your needs, I pray for them. When I don't know, I also pray for you. I pray every Friday for social media friends--much stronger bond than many Facebook friends we all have.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Diet, Cholestrol, Axona and Coconut Oil

from coconutoil.com

Those low-fat, no-fat diets are not good. Now Weight Watchers insists that we have fat. Another site on coconut oil just confirmed here. This site led me to "The Clue to Why Low Fat Diet and Statins may Cause Alzheimer’s" here.

Dr. Mary Newport has reported that CBN are featuring coconut oil here. When you start that coconut oil, you need to build up tolerance and we did with my husband who has been on it for three years. Dr. Newport says that CBN will:  feature Butch Machlan, a man with familial ALS (Lou Gehrig's) who has been stable for three years taking 9 tablespoons per day of coconut oil and magnesium chloride, and will also feature a man from Connecticut with Parkinson's who has had considerable improvement since shortly after the first story aired [Dr. Newport's], taking a mixture of coconut oil and MCT oil.  

Meanwhile there is the suggestion that Axona can be prescribed and monitored better than coconut oil; Dr. Richard Isaacson reports on Axona on The Alzheimer’s Reading Room here. He reports two clinical US trials.

Not all doctors know about Axona and I will ask my husband's doctor about it on his next visit. My husband's doctor approves of his coconut oil (his glucose and cholestrol are great) and coconut oil does not elevate my husband's triclyceride levels as Dr. Isaacson suggests.  Finally there are research studies on coconut oil beginning. Perhaps my hubby doesn't get enough coconut oil, but he does get it everyday with dark chocolate and when I can use it in cooking. I even arranged for him to have it on our trip.

He takes turmeric pills. They say that in India that turmeric and coconut oil may account for less dementia in the older population.

When your loved one has been diagnosed with any kind of dementia as my husband has, you cannot wait for the research studies to come out and I am glad I haven't.

Kinds of Memory, Christmas Travel and Home

A day before we left on our trip hubby and I were at Cracker Barrel, the restaurant/gift shop. We are seated. DH excuses himself to go to the bathroom. He isn't coming back to our table at Cracker Barrel. I go looking for him. He thought I was shopping. I bring him to the table. He is surprise that we had been seated. He doesn't remember.

DH recalls going up in a plane with Jake. I do not recall that, but have heard both DH and Jake discuss their plane trip. How do two Alzheimer's men have the same memory that Sally and I know never happened?!

Both men see that the other one is going downhill.

“Time is change; we measure its passage by how much things alter.”― Nadine Gordime

If you have Alzheimer's. however, time is so present and memories are so fickle and subjective. There may be a few recent memories, but not accurate short-term ones. Long-term memories start to become fuzzy.

I do capitalize on recent memories when I tell hubby that it is 7 am or 7 pm and time to take our pills: Sweetheart, you wouldn't want me to take your pills like I did when I landed in the hospital, so let's both take our pills NOW.

For the Christmas week we had the pleasure of flying to his son's home in another state, and enjoying family and their extended family including two great grandchildren. I became my husband's one constant as we were away from home. He even asked his own son who that son's mother is, forgetting that she is hubby's first wife.

I made daily sheets for him to remind him of what was happening and to let him know when we would be returning to Plant City, Florida. Even so he needed many reassurances from me. Sally and Jake took us to the airport and they would pick us up from the airport,

One morning on our trip he woke me asking Where is here? I explained that we were at his son's home. Although he became somewhat oriented to the lovely three story home where we stayed and he had often been before, he forgot that we had a bed and bathroom in the basement.

He said he would go downstairs.

"No, sweetheart, you need to go upstairs," I reminded him.

When he was on the third story watching TV with his son in the media room, he called me on my cell phone to see if I was anywhere around.

"I am right below you--the next story down," I reminded him. Often DH then responds that he is just checking to see if I am kicking and breathing. He wants to find out if I am kicking and breathing at our own home as well.

We heard a noise in the middle of the night and I remarked that I didn't know what it was. He said it was just the noise of an elevator. Now there was no elevator in the three story home where we were staying--but I didn't correct him.

On the trip we had wonderful hospitality and all the comforts of home. I gave DH a daily schedule and kept his clothes and toiletries where he could easily find them. But for DH, it wasn't home, confirming that Alzheimer's patients are so dependent on their spouse/caregiver and their own home.

Self-Discipline of a Caregiver

How many ways does a caregiver need to be self-disciplined?

• Live in the moment

• Listen
• Learn to say one concept at a time
• Select wise nutrition from what they will eat
• Put things back where they belong according to the Alzheimer's patient
• Be with them so they are not lonely
• Take care of own health
• Manage time well
• Carefully establish routines for loved one
• Make the house ready for later stages of Alzheimer's
• Keep up with their medicine
• Go to a support group (or have a blog)
• Arrange socialization with others
• Manage money and look to the future
• Pick out clothes to wear
• Arrange for shower or bath
• Arrange all doctor appointments
• Check for urinary tract infections
• Safety
• Simply explain the world to them
• Rejoice always

What is the job of the loved one with dementia?

• Trusting us and asking questions
• Cooperating with giving up privileges such as driving
• Accepting supervision
• Learning to have fun at whatever level possible
• Praying and worshipping
• Enjoying music
• Contributing to household tasks

Later stages can include changing adult diapers and arranging for hospice. Yes, it does sound like parenting. Roles are reversed and there may be some resentment about things changing.

In this Christmas season, I think of how God gave up His Son, Jesus Christ, so that by His grace I have access through faith to the greatest caregiver ever.   

Reflections on Bulllies and DUI Crash

In addition to getting last minute things done this week, I have been teaching four days. Monday and Thursday I substituted in public schools--Thursday in middle school and Monday in high school. Those of you who follow this blog know that I positively control students by promising I will "rap" the last five minutes of class. This week after last week's shooting I didn't want to be silly, so I used my rap/poem about bullies that I am still memorizing and perfecting.

Poster in Public Schools

We talk about the importance of reporting bullies and not being a bully. What if a picked on kid comes back and shoots you later as what happened a week ago today in Connecticut?!  Here's the rap/poem:

What he did?

Where you been?

I’m gonna spit it

And you’re gonna get it

Hitting agitating
Spitting aggravating
Take a stand—let’s attack
Rid us of bullies
Always fighting
Gossip behind the back
In person or Internet

Bullies find excuses

To mess with our weaknesses

As if they have none

Just take courage
Report those bullies
Their end is near
Your conscience clear

Let’s get along
Join this song
Let’s be buddies
I’m gonna spit it
And you’re gonna get it

Skip the teasing
Skip the strife
No more hassles
All you bullies
Get a life!

What did I do on Tuesday and Wednesday? I taught a class for DUI offenders into the night (3:30-9:30 PM). Sally and Jake had dinner with DH both nights. Tuesday Sally picked up our husbands from the Senior Center, and Wednesday hubby went with Sally and Jake to their church for dinner. My DUI class heard about my drug overdose of last week that landed me in the hospital and reminded me at 7 PM to take my correct pills!

Now Thursday night while I was teaching adults it was the two-year anniversary since a DUI driver crashed into us. See here. The students were taking turns recounting what each had learned for the DUI criminal charge and not really being so serious--basically I heard all about how they were inconvenienced not being able to drive for six months to a year. I stopped their complaining, and put it in perspective. I bullied them! I told them that ironically my husband and I were almost killed two years ago by a DUI driver. I had a few of them role play a scene where they apologized to me in court for hitting and almost killing my husband and myself. It was very effective.

Keep safe and be kind to everyone!

Quilt Gifts

I showed the fabric world map in the last post. I just love making gifts for family and these lap quilts are educational as well for three families with small children.

Since last post I have quilted by machine on the latitude and longitude lines of the map. Actually I did every other line. Then I cut out the edging on the bias.

Fold 2 3/4 inch bias strips in half and iron

Sew edging to the front of the cloth world map





Sewing bias strips together

Sew to back and miter corners



Great help from three ladies.



I bought my Swedish Viking sewing machine from this store and they continue to help me with projects. Owner Becky suggested the stiped fabric borders; Melody, whom I took a class from several years ago, suggested I use the 505 Spray and Fix instead of stressing my carpal tunnel wrists by pinning the brown or animal print to the back of the world map cloth. Holly refreshed me on the best way to do edging for this project.

What did I do? I knew about how to miter the corners. I used my braces on the wrists while I sewed on the machine with its fabulous quilting foot, and cut with the pictured flat edge scissors so I didn't have to bend my wrists.

Tools that helped me.

Off to the post office and then finishing  a few Christmas cards. DH was very proud of these quilts.

This and That TWO

So thankful for all of you who have prayed during my health scare that I wrote about earlier this week.

The Pill Pusher. My husband's pills are so powerful that they landed me in the hospital. Many days we argue about his taking them in the morning before I leave to substitute teach. Then I can call him and remind him to take them and have even come home and he hasn't taken them. He has considered me a real nag. I made an executive decision. I have long known that routine is so important for Alzheimer's patients. This is why Jake and DH are going to the Senior Center once a week now--getting used to a routine--Sally's brilliant idea. My husband's routine of the clipboard schedule for the day also works; one side shows his schedule and the other side shows mine. We have different pill boxes now and a new routine. Now we both take our medicine at 7 am and 7 pm and that is on the typed schedule. I reinforce this by reminding him that he doesn't want me to take his pills again and land in the hospital.

Garage door is fixed. Just off track. I got explanation on how to put it back on track. Only a $35 service call. Hubby used to understand this and so I didn't bother learning about it. Also I need to learn how to use our expensive carpet cleaner and will go to a vacuum cleaner repair man to find out how. Hubby no longer knows. About a year ago we had a professional come in and clean carpets and now stains have come up from that experience--from the mud they left when the carpet didn't dry. We really can't afford to re-carpet the whole house. I guess stained carpeting is better in case one of us falls again as I did on Tuesday. But the stains are so noticeable.

Making Christmas simple. Decided to not make counted cross stitch for niece and nephew in California. Maybe next year when my wrists are better. Making three next generation educational quilts where there are young children in the family. That cleaned-off pool table provides room to cut them out.  Had hoped to mail these today, but my recent hospitalization happened. Other gifts have been mailed or are ready to be delivered.

Christmas letters are nowhere done--I have always done these in the past even with my late husband. I have bought Christmas cards and may send some of them. Or really, I think I would just like to call people. Whatcha think? People's preferred means of communication so confusing these days! Facebook. Facebook messaging. Texting. Snail mail/yearly Christmas cards. Phone call. Maybe I will do a combination of contacts.

Breaking News on the School Shooting in CT. 

Hug your family and friends!