Since my husband died four months ago, there has been less traffic on this blog and am not sure who actually wants to read it. Or maybe I have less issues to write about. I have six ideas in draft form. I do put bits and pieces on the Facebook Like page for this blog regularly--actually several each week--I wrote about a random act of kindness there recently. But what about this blog? What do you readers want on this blog?
One issue that came to my attention was how hymns can reach the care receiver. See the link HERE.
Richard Gunderman writes about an old gentleman who came to life with the "ritual" of worship. That care receiver suddenly broke forth in song.
God will take care of you,
Through every day, o’er all the way;
He will take care of you,
God will take care of you.
Ritual–in this case, as in others, a familiar hymn–had transformed an otherwise hopeless recipient of care into someone quite different. At least for those few minutes, he had become a human being capable of reaching out and caring for others, a beacon of light and joy to everyone.I did not think of my husband enjoying hymns near the end of his life as a ritual, however, Mr. Gunderman, but as worship. I do miss our worshipping together with listening to hymns in the master bedroom. Great Is Thy Faithfulness was a favorite one. I had moved the boom box into the bedroom and I used it to play hymns on CDs. That boom box is now back in the den and it would be a grief issue to use it now as I sit in the den writing this post.
Blogging has been a main ritual for me. I do have two other blogs--one theological and one on my teaching of DUI classes, but Plant City Lady and Friends has always been my main blog, my ritual. I guess in the throws of grieving I am attempting to find my voice again. Hope to get that ritual of blogging back.
Meanwhile, I am enjoying my daily Scripture that has sustained me over the years. I email five social media friends Scripture each day and several of them email back their Scripture. I returned to Weight Watchers and see slow progress there. I email four caregivers encouragement each day. I am tutoring Esteban and substitute teaching and as usual am teaching an occasional class for DUI offenders. Life goes on. A cruise is planned for me as a guest of a family member. The grave headstone has been placed and artificial flowers are now on the grave.
God is taking care of me, but it is
not His ritual--His care is my hope.
not His ritual--His care is my hope.
I like how you summed it up, Carol, God is taking care of me, but it is not His ritual-His care is my hope. That is so true.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you are finding your new ritual in your daily routines. I hope one day you will return to listening to hymns and it won't cause grief but gladness knowing that your husband is now among Him to who we sing the praise.
I think whatever you choose to write about here on your blog should be your main focus not what your readers might want to read. I have learned over the years people can be so fickle when it comes to what blogs they read, what blogs they comment on.
betty
You do have a lot or readers on your blog, Betty. Thanks for so faithfully writing on my blogs.
DeleteActually I do listen to hymns in my car--but that bomb box is a grief issue for now.
rituals or habits are so important to me as well--more habits I guess. When my mind is scattered I keep a running list that I keep adding to on pc-- my husband taught me this. I think..its pretty obvious where my problem is--my 'list' is many times longer than his! Nobody could finish that list! Every day I read through it and perhaps add a few of the things to my to do for the day. Things that are finished are asterisked--his idea--although really I delete many of mine. Blogging for me is on the list--but my first thought is to learn to create my own website through word press & then blog. I just don't know what to blog about! There are times like that, I have too many things I could write and don't know where to focus. maybe you are at that point? For me I think it is a direct result of deep down underground groans. No amount of busy ness or organizing can fix that. It must take its time til God is finished with the job I think. It is a privilege btw- to be sharing in the daily scriptures--very helpful to me, and I know to you as well! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, Mary, those daily Scriptures with you and Betty and Georgene are a wonderful highlight of the day.
DeleteLists--hmm. I need to do that if I am going to be ready for the cruise.
'Your story' continues, Carol. It hasn't ended. I'm always encouraged to read how the Lord is giving so much grace in these last 4 months. I am learning a lot from you!
ReplyDeleteAnd I am learning a lot from you as well. I appreciate your prayers and the daily Scripture you send even as I see His faithfulness in your life.
DeleteI hope you are feeling OK. I haven't even visited the Alzheimers Reading Room very often lately, whereas a year or so ago, I couldn't survive without my daily read, to reassure myself I wasn't alone. I just feel like I can't stand to hear any more about Alzheimers. For twelve years I've lived with it, read about it, taken Mum to dozens of doctors, lived in fear of getting it myself. I can see an end in sight for Mum now. She seems to have entered the seventh and final stage. It isn't fair she should suffer like this before dying. I see her once a week and usually take her for a drive, which I don't think she enjoys. And even though the end is in sight, it may be another year or even two before she's released from this hell, because she's so healthy otherwise.
ReplyDeleteThanks for asking, Pye, if I am feeling okay. Yes, I am. Or course I do miss my husband, but am glad his suffering is over. He really went down quickly in the last half year.
DeleteEvery dementia patient is different. Jake is so different than my husband who had mixed dementia which apparently accounted for his rapid decline at the end. The effects of the loss of memory really started to show up at the end.
This disease is certainly dreadful. I was so glad that I could release my husband to the care of the LORD as I wrote about in June with the post "Precious Last Days", which had lots of views. Both of us shared that Christian faith and without it, I would not have been able to endure all of this suffering for both of us.
Hugs and prayers for your journey.
Carol
Hi Carol - I hope you find your writing voice again. I'm sure you will. I seem to have lost mine - I haven't even been journaling lately, though I did that for a long time after I stopped blogging. I have good intentions of going back to it, but can't ever seem to stay awake long enough after the boys are asleep to write - lol. I'm glad to read that you are finding new routines and that you're still teaching.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to have you post here, Barb. I think I will get that voice back and U hope you have time and inspiration to do so as well.
DeleteAs you might notice I may write about widowhood as well as dementia. I am scheduled to write a counseling dissertation about caregiving so I better get it back! Also, need to finish my series on The House That Cleans Itself. New ideas there as I am redoing the master bedroom. The workshop has less in it thanks to successful yards sales where men bought shop equipment.
Thanks again for writing.
Hugs and prayers,
Carol