Short Hospital Stay of Caregiver

I had a short hospital stay Friday morning through Sunday afternoon. It certainly wasn't planned that I be taken to the hospital and leave my caregiving responsibilities.

So what happened to me you ask? Hubby is still able to stay home by himself and I set out Friday to substitute teach. On the way I realized very suddenly that I needed to vomit. I pulled over to a Ford dealership and upchucked, hoping that was the end of it. Not to be. I arrived at the school and vomited in the parking lot. I got up a little strength to walk with my purse into the office and say I was sick and couldn't sub. I headed for the staff women's bathroom. My stay in that bathroom included vomiting and passing out. I found myself on the floor with a headache and realized I might have a concusion. I got myself up and the room was spinning. After a bit I opened the door and said I needed a nurse. The nurse called 911 and I was on my way to the hospital in an ambulance. Needless to say, I didn't care at all whether school kept of not! But I did care about my husband and in my weakened state told people "I am an Alzheimer's caregiver". By Friday afternoon I was out of ER, had a room and Friday night I knew I was on my way to recovery, including eating dinner. Nurse assistant DaDine thoughtfully gets an iPhone charger for my cell while I slept Friday night; this had to be borrowed from staff who worked at night and loaned it to me for several hours.

I had not purchased a bracelet that says I am an Alzheimer's caregiver.  (I have seen these, but hadn't gotten around to ordering one). My husband has one that says he has memory issues and he wears it all the time.

HUGE THANKS to family. Hubby stayed with his daughter. The step-daughter, her husband and daughter graciously took on caregiving responsibilities including hosting both hubby and the dog during my hospital stay of over two days. Our car was retrieved from school.  Naughty dog Ziggy, however, taught the host dog how to chase their cat while he stayed there. 

Hubby's cell phone is misplaced again in the last 12 hours and he notices it early this morning.  He did use it to call me on my cell at the hospital. After the stabilizing me in ER, I went to a room where I was able to use my new iPhone to call him. Somehow he got through the short-term memory problem and was able to visit me in the hospital on Friday thanks to his ex taking him there. Saturday morning he woke me up at 6:15 AM on my recharged cell:  

Where are you?

At the hospital, Sweetheart!

Oh that's right!

Hubby had forgotten that he had seen me in the hospital on Friday. Our routines were disrupted. He called often during Saturday saying he missed me. I realize again how important that caregiver (me) is to the loved one. You are the one, even with other family around.

This morning early his cell phone is missing. He is very discombobulated that his cell phone is missing and wants to go get another one ASAP. This morning he is going over and over his loss and asking how many cell phones he has lost. How many cell phones has Ziggy taken? he asks. Coping is hard for the Alzheimer's loved one who is trying to hold on to reality.  That cell phone is a big issue this morning. I have him wait until 7 AM to call his daughter. Sure enough it was in a box with the dog food just where she said it was last night. I had not seen it the first time I unpacked his things.

So glad I can stay home today to get us both back to "normal" or "the new normal". But I do know that life will never be normal again. Just so thankful to the LORD that we are both home.  

Get those shots. Saturday night in the hospital I had my yearly influenza shot and got my pneumonia shot that all of us over 65 need to get. Perhaps my trip to the hospital could have been avoided had I received those shots. Why knows!  

Cuddos to Lakeland Regional Medical Center where my treatment was so excellent--doctors and nurses. I had a SYNCOPE and a SYNCOPE HYPOTHERMIA along with the vomiting. I was cold in ER! My white blood cells were elevated from vomiting and I was fighting something. Scans  revealed that there was no internal brain injury from the fall and no heart issues. My electrolites were off. I thought I had avoided treatment for GERD by watching what I ate carefully. But now I have a prescription for OMEPRAZOLE  to be taken for 30 days and I will take it. People with GERD should not be vomiting at all. It throws us off completely.   

Boredom sets in Saturday and Sunday. I was better. My charged cell phone helped entertain me on Saturday and dutifully I stayed in my room and interacted with my roommate. The sign on the TV said:

Thank you for remaining my your clinical area during your stay at Lakeland Regional, and allowing your health care providers to monitor your care and recovery. Leaving your clinical area for reasons outside your treatment is considered against medical advice and you may be discharged. Please help us to provide you with the best health care experience possible. Thank you.

I became stir crazy and wanted to get back to my husband and get him home. I walked the halls in "my clinical area". Through my iPhone I posted updates on my Facebook LIKE page for this blog during the day Saturday.  I entertained the troops with the two raps "Get Me Out of Class [the hospital]" and "Boredom Games" I deliver for good classes when I substitute teach.  I promised a few staff that  I would post those raps here and I dedicate them to those wonderful staff at the hospital we put smiles on each other's faces.

"Get Me Out of Class"

[the hospital]

Get me out of class
Gotta get a pass
I’m a student you can trust
Getting me out of class I must.
Let me get some water
I’m not your son or daughter
But I will be your teacher’s pet
I’ll always help you out
—you can bet
It’s right outside the class
Don’t have to write a pass
So let me get some water
(I will roam the school halls
Or maybe the nearby malls.)
But, oh no!
You don’t give water passes?

Hmm . . .
I have to pee can’t you see
But so much liquid I just bloat
And I have a doctor’s note
So much pee I may float.
I have to be a finder
I left my school binder
I left my purse
I have to see the nurse
Can I go to my locker?
(Really I want to play soccer
I want to go find that jerk)
Please --it’s just a little perk!

Get me out of class
Gotta get a pass!

"Boredom Games"

Paper toys

Boredom ploys

Sunflower seeds

Don’t want to read

Don’t want to heed

Or do a good deed

But a boredom game

May get me fame

Or bring me shame

Those boredom games.

Let me make a popper

Lots of ploys in the hopper

Shooting rubber bands

Making beats with hands

Let’s play football

Make it out of paper

Or fly a plane

Just a little caper

Chewing gum

Think I’ll hum

Or twiddle my thumb

Have a little gas

I can fart for a laugh

I’m not the only one

Who has to have a little fun

And my work is done

A boredom game

Won’t get me fame

Might bring me shame

Those boredom games.

God is good. Now where did I put MY glasses! Might be at Denny's where we had supper last night!

De-cluttering Makes Room for Other Values and Experiences

Sally told me about a lecture on clutter at our local Plant City Library and so my hubby and I heard Michelle Passoff, the author of Lighten Up, last night. Hubby said he was bored, but I appreciate so much just getting to hear Michelle and reflect on my de-cluttering process. She took a broad perspective on clutter--not just physical clutter, but emotional, mental and spiritual clutter. Here are some gems from what she said.

• If you are human, you have stuff. If you don't de-clutter, you become a hoader.You can retreat, or you can get a handle on that clutter and plan for the future.
• What life do you want when the clutter is gone? Realize what you are making room for and the energy you will have as a result of ridding yourself of stuff.
• Complete 100% of something and do not introduce clutter back into that spot. You can put clutter anywhere else, but not where you have cleaned. This got me thinking. I wanted to put all the kitchen and pantry stuff in the den, but that would not be wise.
• Take breaks from the de-cluttering project.
• Work only two to four hours at a time. So far Saturday is my best day for doing this.
• Get free from unfinished business. For example, today after substitute teaching I mailed a book back to Crafter's Choice. I had forgotten to open mail and that book club sent the book anyway.

The grass in the back yard had gotten high. When I came home from substituting today, DH had mowed the rest of the back yard. Could it be that he is starting to realize what I do around here and deciding to contribute?

Handling Clutter: More On the Den Area Number Two

You

Have to

Make It

Look Easy

Staples has an easy button, but they don't have that vertical file from Office Depot that is helping me organize temporarily . Organizing is not easy. The commitment in The House That Cleans Itself by Mindy Starns Clark is to do that HARD WORK so you can have EASY. Having a loved one with Alzheimer's is hard enough--at least the house can be easy and simplified.

Mrs. Clark has many principles that I am applying. One is stations so you do not run around the house getting what you need and then having to put things away--or not and then it is cluttered again.

She also says to put things on the wall. My iron and ironing board are now in an unobtrusive corner of the den between a bookcase and a door leading out to the workshop.  I use the iron and ironing board in the den when I sew and sometimes for ironing clothes. EASY! I do not have to go far to put them away now. We had Sally and Jim's son over for repairs and he put them up for us. The iron is on an holder from Ikea that I had for several years, never deciding where to put it.

Their son also solved a huge problem in the den-- very small ants who seem to get worse during the rain. He got up on a ladder and found where they were coming from and sealed those places with silicone. Fortuately these small ants never invaded our kitchen and pantry closet.


The hardest work in the den and maybe the whole house is paper clutter. FlyLady talks about it here and she hits me right where it hurts. How I wanted to be able to tell you, readers, that  the den is done, but it is not because of that paper clutter.

Who do I think I am--an historian of my own life? A librarian collecting magazines and books in case someone needs something?



Beyond pool table: File/sorting station, sewing cabinet, pub table

What has been done? 

• Furniture has been moved. One piece went to the large master bedroom we have and on it is a bomb box and an iPod player. Inside are CDs and tapes. An small end table with storage is now available to hide kids toys. On top of it are coasters for drinks for those playing pool. The four drawer file was moved. The half book case that used to be in that master bedroom is now in the living room temporarily by the piano for putting books that may be donated or traded in at a used book store in Plant City. A pub table is available in the corner. The sewing machine and sewing projects used to be there.  
• The pool table is now free. I can play pool with my husband! When it is his turn I can work on paper clutter! He needs something he likes to do beside watching TV. He doesn't like to get on the riding lawn mower to mow the lawn, but that is another story.

• There is a clutter sorter station, a sewing cabinet that doesn't look like one, and a nearby pub table that seats four!

What would you like to drink? Pool anyone?



What needs to be done?

• Paper clutter.
• Clean the rug.
• Sort through books.
• Get rid of my overhead projector I used to use to teach DUI classes. I now use an LCD projector with a Power Point on my small notebook computer for speaking. Get rid of other stuff or find it a home in our home.
• And did I mention paper clutter!
• The bins under the pool table need to be sorted through and moved. Mrs. Clark is so right. Don't buy those suckers--they just keep you from solving problems.
• Make the four drawer file contemporary, not historical. Keep only the paper that will go in there.
• Use Mrs. Clark's system of the one collection bin for the week while I substitute teach and the weekly filing and monthy filing to keep on top of that paper clutter.

All of this is not so easy yet. LORD willing we will play more pool and I will get there with this room.

What is also not easy is the death from Alzheimer's of Dolores' husband and the death of my last relative in the older generation; my aunt had dementia in her last years.

I do have a serious rap I give at the end of good classes.

Educated, dedicated, motivated, college-bound
Where are those students?  We need them found.
Hey you hims and hers
Think pink--no more cancer
We need cures.
Hey you hims and hers
Think purple--no more Alzheimer's
We need cures. . . .

The next generation will undoubtedly come up with cures. Let's hope so.

Interview With a Lovely LaTane



Any One Riding Off into the Sunset?

 LaTane and I follow each other on our blogs, Google Plus and Pinterest . She accepted my friend request on Facebook Tuesday and I talked her through how to chat on Facebook.  

Carol: LaTane, thanks so much for being willing to chat. We seniors have to learn so much don't we!

LaTane: Yes, it's an entirely new world for us. I try to stay in touch with today's technology but find that I can't run as fast as I once did!!

Carol: I know. Barb (Cleaning Up the Clutter) helped me get on Pinterest, and then this last week my sister-in-law helped me adjust to an iPhone after my five year old cell phone died. But for this interview you and I have two things in common--widowhood and caregiving. I have been a widow and you are one now. I am a caregiver now and you have been one.

LaTane: Yes, and I bet if we explored it further we would have other things in common.

Carol: We both love the LORD, blogging, writing, quilts, etc.

LaTane: Yes, you got it!

Carol: You have been a widow for over a year now. How long were you a caregiver?

LaTane: About eleven years with my husband. I took care of my Mom, who had dementia, for 12 years prior to that.

Carol: Wow! Did taking care of her prepare you for hubby's situation?

LaTane: Not really. Each one was so different and in many ways you treat dementia differently. Alzheimer’s is much more complex. Also, taking care of your Mom isn't like having your spouse retreat into a dark hole. Maybe I should have used the word “disappear” instead of retreat. Retreat is a conscious effort, disappearance is not really.

Carol: “Disappear” is a good word for it. How did you notice that happening?

LaTane: A missed appointment, confusion over where we were supposed to be, forgetting things he should have known.

Carol: And it is easy to nag until you learn what Alzheimer’s is.

LaTane: I am afraid I did some of that nagging. I expected to have Elbert by my side until we rode off into the sunset together, with him being that strong and capable man that he was. The tables were turning and I was scared.

Carol: I know I miss that strength from my husband now and I have to learn a new language just to simply be able to communicate and to be responsible for so much.

LaTane: Having to take on the entire responsibility for the two of you is very difficult. You are getting older, have less energy and now you have it all to do. And, let's face it-- men do some things better than women!!

Carol: I had that as a widow also. I went through Hurricane Andrew with my late husband and then every time something would come up after he died (insurance, fixing something around the house, mowing the lawn) the grieving would be painful in another way.

LaTane: In my generation the man assumed the role as head of the household (with me as his partner). It just felt odd to have to make every decision by myself. But, I had a very supportive family to help me through all that.

Carol: Did you have any role models for being your mother’s and husband’s caregiver or did you learn and blog as it went along? Was navigating all the insurance and medical decisions hard for both mom and hubby?

LaTane: That is one thing I am having so much trouble figuring out-- all these companies and stuff that Elbert took care of. My brain is so overloaded. Mother was easy. But, when I knew that we would have a lot of decisions to make (and before Elbert got too bad) we went to an elder law attorney who guided us through so much of the legal tangles that we would face. A couple of our children were involved in every aspect of that. I will say it helped so much to have a professional in our corner. We also had a very knowledgeable family services director who was always there for us.

Carol: Did your late husband have trouble with driving, hallucinating, anger issues?

LaTane: Elbert was a very calm person in the real world and I am so thankful that he, for the most part, remained calm and nonviolent. He was easy to care for in that respect but he would want to “go home” and after his getting out of the house and down the street in the middle of the night more than once we installed alarms on the outside doors. These can be bought at Lowe's for a small amount and alerts you when the door opens.

Carol: Good tip and I think there is also an Alzheimer’s store that where you can buy such items.

LaTane: He spent nearly two years falling several times a day and that was my main task--keeping him off of the floor. Someone had to be with him at all times because he did not remember not to get out of his chair without help. That was a very stressful time. After that length of time his doctor decided that he was having seizures which caused the falls.

Carol: Then came the nursing home I would imagine. I read about that on your blog which I religiously followed.

LaTane: Yes, and, that was a very difficult decision. Tore our hearts out but I just could not continue on with his care.

Carol: Did you have to trick him to get him to move? And how did the elder law attorney help with this?

LaTane: We investigated several places which I suggest everyone do. After the choice was made my daughter and I took him to meet with the director and also to familiarize him with what could be his new surroundings. Later, after his room was set up and all his clothes in place we took him, visited with him in the room and then the director brought in another resident who had similar interest to distract Elbert. The family left and I really do not think he ever realized where he was.

Carol: So interesting that he recognized it as his home with his things.

LaTane: His first home away from home was an Alzheimer’s wing in an assisted living facility. A bit more upbeat, more like home situation which made it easier I think.

Carol: So you were now on road to being a widow and yet married when he left your home you both had shared.

LaTane: Yes. You lose your loved one to Alzheimer’s long before they pass away.

Carol: I know this is what my fate is. I do not know how to prepare for it.

LaTane: Your role as caregiver becomes your main focus, your existence. You do whatever you must in order to make their days (and yours) as comfortable as possible. That becomes your full time job. I must add that there are sweet moments of tenderness, of love, of hugs. You learn to cherish those beyond measure.
Carol: Oh yes I am cherishing each good day we have. I however just challenged DH to finish his breakfast, take his pills and scolded the dog for not eating also!

LaTane: That's funny... poor little doggie!

Carol: I talked to the dog and now he is beside me. Both the dog and the husband here do not understand me! However, I am still able to work outside the home.
LaTane: I do not know how women still work (or men if their wives have AD). It's such a challenge without a full time job.

Carol: I am working to pay off credit cards so I can stay home one day when I have to. Also substituting and teaching classes for DUI offenders are a sort of break.

LaTane: Oh yes, we all need those breaks.

Carol: Did you get any breaks and did you feel guilty when you took a break?

LaTane: I finally found a woman who would sit with Elbert when I went out. She was wonderful with him. I was feeling guilty to begin with but soon realized that I had to take care of myself in order to be able to take care of him. They preached that in the support group I went to.

Carol: On our subject of widowhood, I had to be babysat when I got rid of the clothes, books, etc. of my late husband.

LaTane: Was his death sudden or was his illness a long one? In my case I found that I was prepared to stack his clothes in a pile and ask someone to take them. Having him living away from home for a year and a half had to have helped my state of mind in that regard.

Carol: My late husband died very suddenly from a blood clot following surgery. Then I dated too soon when I was a widow and then had grief on top of heartbreak. You try to fill the void before your grieving is done. How are you doing with widowhood now? One of my mother-in-laws told me she didn't want to take care of some old man. Are you thinking of remarriage at all?

LaTane: I have a lot of things I am involved in. I stay busy. I meet friends for lunch. I had a few months counseling which helped. It's a long process. Don't rush yourself. Just face each morning when the sun comes up.

Carol: I had counseling also and went to a widow support group. My counselor asked me, Why are you in such a hurry to replace your husband, Carol.

LaTane: I don't think I will ever be ready for marriage. I said I would never get involved with someone, I love being alone too much. But, I realized I really missed the companionship that a man provides. I do date some. I appreciate anyone for showing kindness.

Carol: The Scriptures tell younger widows to remarry, not older ones.

LaTane: Hey, where is that Scripture?

Carol: I Timothy 5:14 and there may be room for interpretation here, I think it is both good and controversial when older people marry. The thing is you are so vulnerable as a widow. It took me a long time to marry another Christian—I was 55 when I remarried. I am glad I can be his wife/caregiver now. It is my marriage commitment.

LaTane: See, I don't think I am in that place in my life that I can go there. I wonder sometimes if I am just searching for what I had.

Carol: The best, Heaven, is yet to come.

LaTane: Amen to that!

Carol: I am envious of people who are almost there often (Heaven), yet live to hear my LORD say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." Well, LaTane, you have a cold and need to take care of yourself. I am very grateful that you have shared this experience. Hugs and prayers as always and look forward to maybe meeting you this side of Heaven.

LaTane: You have been great interviewing me, drawing me out.
Carol:  “TTYL” as the young people write!

LaTane:  I know your journey is fairly new and I pray for peace and guidance for you in the days and years to come. Bye for now!

This and That

• I couldn't wait to tell you. Please pray for blogging friend Dolores and her husband who is in a coma. She wrote this week:

David is in a coma, no food or water since Wednesday evening last week. He's nearing the end of his journey here on earth. He's moving forward to Paradise.

I'm overwhelmed and honored by family, friends and blog friends . Your love and encouragement are lifting me up and helping to sustain me through the darkest time in my life.

• Pray for the plane trip of Sally and Jake, our friends who live nearby, whom I often write about; you know--our husbands tell each other the same stories over and over again and it doesn't matter because both have Alzheimer's and don't remember the stories anyway.
• Interviews. In addition to Dolores' interview here last month, two more are scheduled. Yesterday I interviewed LaTane, whose husband died from Alzheimer's, and that interview will be posted some time this week. Also  in October Laurie and I are planning an interview of her journey with her husband's Early Onset Alzheimer's.  
• For all the ladies whom I promised a free copy of The House That Cleans Itself, I have not received them  from the author yet, but Mrs. Clark assures me they are on the way. Barb couldn't wait and got her own copy on Nook. A new edition of this book will be out in early 2013.
• I am still collecting funds for the Alzheimer's Association Walk in early November. You can contribute by clicking on link above right. This will be my third year walking.



New Way I Am Learning To Handle Clutter

• Last Saturday at Weight Watchers I had lost 26.8 pounds. When asked what I was happiest about this loss, I was at loss for words! Can you believe that!  Actually the discipline going through my house and decluttering it using the strategies from The House That Cleans Itself makes me the most happy--more than losing weight which I do periodically anyway. That vertical file above at right is working so well.
• Hubby is happy, but so needs encouragement to take his medicine and to eat. He quips about getting whipping from me if he doesn't do this and also jokes with others that I hit him and that is why I wear wrist braces.
• My carpel tunnel syndrome on my wrists is being treated by my chiropractor and my wrists are slowly improving. This is great, because I do not need surgery. I wear braces especially at night, take MSM from the health food store, and go on Pinterest less.

Handling Clutter: Beginning on the Den



Sewing projects just piled on pub table



Laundry to fold and clutter on pool table

My lifetime of organizational disasters come home to roost. These two photos are not the half of it. I more often than not do not systematically solve paper clutter, sewing, and laundry. Many times hubby picks up on a clue and folds laundry left on the pool table--what I have read is a great task for Alzheimer's loved ones. But this pool table mess is so unsightly and how I would love for us to uncover it and to use that pool table more often.

But I will get there with Clark's two-step sort routine. Mindy Starns Clark points out in The House That Cleans Itself that vertical files do not work. They are not efficient. I even have a set of vertical files set up by the paper shredded.

When I married my current husband in 2000 I had three four drawer files and one two drawer file. He said no to all but one four drawer file coming into our home. I remember sitting in storage in Tampa when I first moved here to marry my husband and getting rid of 3/4 of my papers then, or putting some of the old file contents in boxes instead of files; we donated those empty file cabinets. Hubby was correct and he did a marvelous job of filing papers until the Alzheimer's came and I had to take care of paper clutter of both of us. Still I have always had too much paper clutter and not just from mail. Blame it on broad interests, current counseling degree course work, writing and teaching perhaps. More on that two-step sort with later post after I have applied the system.

Time for Mrs. Clark's wisdom. Mrs. Clark says use temporary horizontal files. You use this for her two-step sort and at the time she wrote this book she had purchased a jelly rack/donut rack from a restaurant supply store. I saw a horizontal sorter in a classroom Monday when I substituted (photo at left below). I should have left a note for the teacher complimenting her on this great cart at the left. I searched my heart about all the "organizing" (really cluttering) I do on the pool table, the dining room table and elsewhere throughout the whole house. A temporary horizontal organizer would work. I found one for about $70 at Office Depot below at the right below.

Hubby was right again. Alzheimer's does not take wisdom and humor away from him!  After he shopped with me Monday after school he quipped, "And where will you put this cart!"

"In the den for sorting papers," was my reply.  Furniture will have to leave the den for me to use this 10-Drawer Mobile Cart Organizer from Office Depot. I have an idea what needs to leave. I also have an idea for rearranging the den so that I have a two-step sorting station.

Organize it for filing

Organizer from Office Depot in Box

Cell phone problems. After finding and buying this organizer in the box before the bookcase above right, we went to dinner. Getting back in the car after a wonderful dinner (not a careful Weight Watcher menu though),  I dropped my five year old cell phone on the concrete. Now Mrs. Clark had advised:

Compile a list of your most frequently called numbers in a Rolodex, address book, or notebook (p. 127).

I had not done that for all my cell numbers yet and this cell phone was broken beyond repair with contact cell numbers all destroyed as well. Too late for me to heed her warning.

Tuesday I got a new phone, well not just any new cell phone--an iPhone 4S since I was due for an upgrade at Sprint. Regularly VERY expensive, my upgrade cost was $106.99 plus I traded in old phones (found after hubby lost his and needed a new one) and got an Otterbox cover for it so IT won't break when dropped as I five-year-old one had.  (Of course the new iPhone 5 would have been much more expensive.) With my carpel tunnel hands I can speak a person's name to call them instead of use my fingers.  Now I am not putting Pinterest App on that phone yet, but I did put a PrayerMate App there, that had been lingering unused on my iPod in iTunes and I put the Facebook App.  Not putting the e-mail there yet. We need SOME discipline and boundaries in my life.

Short-term memory. Short-term memory caused my husband to leave one section of the front yard unmowed last Saturday and I am encouraging him every day to finish it.  When I leave the house, hubby has to know where I am going and when I will be back and I call him while I am gone when I get a chance. Tuesday I borrowed his cell phone. I called him when I got to the school where I was substituting as is the usual practice, and when I was on my way home. I called him saying I was going to Sprint regarding another cell phone. He expected me home at 5:00 PM, not 6:25 PM. But I did call three times to tell him WHY I would be late.

At home at 6:25 PM hubby was livid with me. "You were supposed to be home at 5:00 PM,"  he said showing me on his notes like a lawyer.

"I called you three times to say I was getting another phone at Sprint."

"No you didn't!" Probably he swore in this anger. I just let this outburst roll off my back. Later he forgot that he was angry with me, another evidence of short-term memory of his disease. I have become fairly used to these sundowning episodes and his short-term memory.

Devotional area. I would say that my Scripture reading and prayer are huge in my life as a lovegiver/caregiver for my husband. Mrs. Clark writes:

Whatever you choose to include in your devotional area, the goal is to set up a permanent grouping of items that do not get carried anywhere for any other purpose (p. 88). 

This wonderful suggestion hit me hard. I have been using Daily Audio Bible for maybe five years, listening to Brian Hardin read through the whole Bible each year on iTunes usually at my computer in the den and getting distracted by e-mail, Pinterest, or blogs while listening to the Bible and "multi-tasking"!  Mrs. Clark calls such distractions "rabbit trails" and asks you to write down your rabbit trails in your notebook. One year I typed up my Scripture highlights to counteract this tendency. Or, I would listen to the daily Scripture on my iPod in the car with the car's speaker system. If it was Friday, I knew that this was the day I pray for Social Media friends, for example, and often during that day. But my devotional time was not "set apart" time--often multi-tasking time.

App for iPhones

Picking up on Mrs. Clark's suggestion my new devotional area is now in the family room. I have assembled materials there and can listen on the iPhone without that computer. No multi-tasking. The PrayerMate App can also be used in my new devotional area. This station is my new way to start the day before hubby gets up.

Do you have a clutter problem?

Do you have "rabbit trail" distractions?
What are they? 

Do you have a devotional station?

Handling Clutter, Part Three

Now you can get a bunch of stuff for your stuff--buy those baskets, bins, etc.--  organizational ideas do help. Put it some where--a box, a bin, a trunk and then it looks organized. My basket with my hair flowers in the guest bathroom pictured below illustrates the problem that can arise from excess containers. You have to solve the problem of what is in the box, bin and trunk. Now my hair flowers are in a drawer cleaned out in the guest bathroom.

Two years ago, before the crash with a DUI driver and the therapy after that, I was writing about clutter on this blog and even wrote a rap about it here where two lines are:

Get it out and take a peek

We know it will take more than just a week.

At that time I was reading Flylady's Kitchen Sink Reflections and Clutter's Last Stand. So this campaign to get organized has a real history, folks. I was derailed physically and discouraged I would be able tackle our home before my husband's Alzheimer's gets worse. I went back to my chiropractor and am on track for solving carpel tunnel problems. My interview with Dolores on the last post inspired me all week.

My day started at 7 AM today with Weight Watchers where their scale showed I lost 4/10 of a pound last week. I spend the rest of Saturday on the house. As you may recall from last Saturday,  I am going through the process in Mindy Starns Clark's book, The House That Cleans Itself, and she took a year with her house. It will take more than a week. Fortunately DH finally decided to mow the front lawn while I worked. (I had treatened to hire someone to mow it, but he said NO and did come through today.)

At 11:30 AM I put an easy chicken  recipe from Pinterest  for dinner  in the crockpot.  My link for Pinterest is at the bottom right and I put it under Healthy Food.  I used light broth and healthy soup and another brand of stuffing. The smells permeated the house while I worked on areas one and two. HBZ area one is essentially done and here is the report.

After Guest Bathroom

Before Guest Bathroom

Stations in Cupbards in Baskets

 As you see quite an improvement at the right! Mrs. Clark advocates stations and so I used my white wicker baskets for stations stored in the cupboards in the guest bathroom: I have first aid and cleaning under the sink, dental care, hair curlers, cold medine and aspirin, and other medicine all in their own containers/stations ready to be taken out when needed. The cleaning bin is where I need it for the bathrooms. She also tells you to evaluate every possession you have. Stuff eats time. . . Do you really want to keep wasting yours on stuff? (p. 100) A lot of unnecessary items were thrown away. "Hotel like", as she says, and I loved having that counter to fold my towels.

How is this helping my Alzheimer's husband?  In the master bathroom, the products that he uses are under his sink along with a basket of towels--and nothing else. I can easily see what is needed. He couldn't find eye glass lense cleaners, and being so disorganized, I bought more. Now we have four boxes you might be able to see at the left.  I can go into this cupboard and easlily see if he needs more Efferdent or Sea Bond for his false teeth. This bathroom should not confuse him in the future.

The master shower was redone several years ago and it is large and easy to get into. Hubby can use a shower chair and a hand held  Price Pfister Multi-Function Shower System with Adjustable Slide Bar when needed in the future by himself or with someone helping him.  I washed the cowboy design curtains I had made (can't remember when I had done that before in the eleven years we have lived here). I stopped at not cleaning the tile in the shower because of my carpel tunnel hands and wrists. I will have someone else clean it. Maybe hubby will--which product below should he use for our hard water?



Tilex, Clean Shower, Lysol Tub and Tile



Night Time When I Finished Last Saturday



When I started on the bathrooms a week ago,  I had a digression--it just seemed right that I organize the medicine. I found all the medicine in four places in the house and put it on the dining room table where it sat most of the week while I worked ourside the house five days. Here is a picture where I finally cleared the dining room table today. Beyond you see area 2, the den, which will take a lot of time--trust me. It illustrates a principle for Mrs. Clark's book.

Anthing in your home that's likely to get messy looking over time should be placed outside the Sight Zone (p. 143).  

You see right into the messy den, so that's why is is the second priority for the house --  the needy Sight Zone where you would notice clutter. It may take a while for me to accomplish this den reorganization, but having our bathrooms organized, I am able to keep it clean.  I feel so good about this accomplishment using Mrs. Clark's pointers.



The crockpot chicken dinner will be ready in a half hour and it is time for me to make our salad. 

Last Stage Caregiver Dolores' Candid Interview

Front porch chats are preferred, but when blogging friends are separated by miles, chatting and typing the interview on Facebook also works. My husband is in stage one of Alzheimer's and I wanted to know more about the journey. Dolores lives in Texas and I live in Florida, but we have become blogging friends. Here is the interview which took place recently.  

Carol: Can you chat now? I have one other message to do. Hold on. . . . I am back now.

Dolores: Been walking the dog, I'm back

Carol: Great! How was your day, first off?

Dolores: Very good, church circle ladies meeting and weather is wonderful...how about u?

Carol: I substituted. Easy day.

Dolores: Great...

Carol: You have always been neat, but how did this help you going into Alzheimer's?

Dolores: Just less mess and confusion for me and David. When my house is messy or cluttered, my brain feels confused. That probably sounds weird, but true for me.

Carol: A place for everything and everything in its place for David and you. Like you I want less and I want neatness and this will serve us well then.

Dolores: Yes, I started getting rid of what we didn't need right of way, sold our house, gave David's car to sister in law. My motto was less is better. All the things I gave away, I haven't missed them at all.

Carol: I both try to enjoy every day and plan ahead. However, it might be easier to ignore the disease. But that wouldn't be responsible. It has been hard for me to assume decision making when Herb had been the leader.

Dolores: Plan ahead and then enjoy every day.....you can't plan everything though; each person and circumstance is so different. One day at a time.

Carol: Was it hard for your husband when you downsized from a bigger home to a smaller home. Did David miss his old home?

Dolores: No, he didn't mind moving, didn't mind not driving. He’s always been very easy going which made it easier for me.

Carol: How did you deal with worries about David when your dear husband used to be your confidant

Dolores: I have a very best friend, she's the same age as my son...she's been my rock. We cry and laugh and discuss all the “what ifs”.

Carol: You often blog about her. How has blogging helped you during this time?

Dolores: Blogging has been so wonderful! I try my best to be real and honest with my feelings, and I feel like people really know me.. The blog has been good for me to unload my feelings, receive the wonderful comments, and keep a record of a timeline of the disease

Carol: Did David accept that he had Alzheimer’s?

Dolores: David accepted it from the very beginning; I know he suspected it....David's Alzheimer's went very slow and then started going down a couple of years ago.

Carol: Yesterday I asked my husband about how he feels about his short-term memory and he said he isn't bothered or doesn't notice it! How can that be! He forgets he forgets! Did David start to notice when it got worse for him--when he couldn’t do things?

Dolores: See, I would never question David about his memory ....I figured he knew it, and we didn't need to talk about it.....No, I don't think he was aware as he got worse, but maybe he did and we didn't talk about it. We didn't talk about Alzheimer’s, other than maybe joke when something silly happened, that it was Alzheimer’s doing it, and we'd laugh.

Carol: Did you have to deal with anger in David? I have had to with my husband several times. Then he forgot he swore or was angry.

Dolores: David would get a little upset when he'd see something that I didn't see, so I got where I'd go along with whatever to keep peace. The mood swings are just part of the disease I think.

Carol: As Bob DeMarco writes often on The Alzheimer’s Reading Room, you have to enter into their reality.

Dolores: That's right, and disagreeing or arguing only makes things worse. It's so hard not to disagree, but it gets you no where.

Carol: You would give him some melatonin so he would sleep well. Did you ever have problems with his getting up at night?

Dolores: I only gave him the melatonin for a short time. The only problem I had at night was for me to wake up when he needed to go to the bathroom....or might not find it. I didn't sleep well at all. Always trying to make sure he could find the bathroom or he’d go on the floor (many times).

Carol: Did you have problems with mirrors as some have--seeing some other man in the mirror?

Dolores: Never....in fact I have lots of mirrors. Also he didn't repeat questions or answers like we often hear, each person is so different when he would see things (hallucinations) it would be hard for me to keep my mouth shut and not disagree, but I got better with time.

Carol: Was Aricept 23 what made the hallucinations lesson you think?

Dolores: No...... As the disease progressed his hallucinations began... Aricept stops working after a while.

Carol: Did David ever wander?

Dolores: No he didn't wander, but I watched him closely.

Carol: Because of your blog I use music. I have playlists on my iPod that I often play for my husband in the car and will in the house at some point. This may work when DH no longer cares to watch TV.

Dolores: Yes, the music was so wonderful, because he suddenly stopped watching TV and reading....so listening to music and sweeping our patio were God sends—something he could do.

Carol: David would read, but my husband doesn't wish to read now. Did you need to find ways to entertain David?

Dolores: We'd walk the dog around the block in the morning and evening. I'd take him for a ride in the car....he'd sweep off and on during the day on our patio and the rest of the time he would look at the TV, or play his country music and clap his hands. That's really all he could do.

Carol: How did you occupy yourself with something when it got to that point?

Dolores: I love to work with my plants on the patio, organize and clean house, visit with friends and spent time on the computer. I started hiring someone to stay with him for a couple of hours so I could go shopping.
Carol: Was he talking fluently at the time you decided to put him in the nursing or Alzheimer's facility?

Dolores: No. He would say a few sentences that made sense and many that didn't.

Carol: I remember you sort of tricked him into going there.

Dolores: I started taking him there for respite care once in awhile. I'd tell him I needed to shop and couldn't leave him alone, he was ok with that.

Carol: My husband is having trouble being motivated to mow the yard. Maybe he'd like having someone else do it? What do you think? They say keep your loved one as busy as long as possible. I think we need to hire someone, but then he might take offense.
Dolores: Maybe if you tell him how much it will be helping someone else by them doing the yard. He might end up liking not doing the yard.
Carol: Yes. That might work. You have achieved for better for worse, in sickness and health and almost till death us do part. Will you be both relieved and sad when he dies? You have to be living in grief now when he doesn't know you when you visit him.

Dolores: I'm sure both feelings, but it's so sad to see him in bed, drinking his meal through a straw, blank look on his face....the David I knew is so different....mostly I will be relieved that he will be whole again when he dies, but I will miss going to see him...a mix of emotions.

Handling Clutter, Part Two

The wise woman builds her house,

But the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

Several weeks ago Jake spent the day at our home while Sally substituted. Now, unlike hubby, Jake is a bundle of energy. He worked in our front yard in the morning and then came in and enjoyed the same lunch I made hubby--the coconut oil and tumeric toasted cheese sandwich, yogurt with extra blueberries, and coconut oil fudge--all good nutrition for the Alzheimer's husbands.  Then Jake and hubby got a second wind and finished off the back yard. How grateful I am for Jake and his energy. What did I do that day? De-clutter? No. I prepared food for a wedding and observed the husbands. One day this may be "babysitting" the husbands while either Sally or I substitute teach.

Friday morning. So much is great right now. I am slowing losing weight and hubby is still in stage one of Alzheimer's, but the house is a mess. I have an excuse--my carpal tunnel on my wrists, but it is slowly getting better. Time to own up to a problem and write part two and expect part three, etc., of reporting to you, gentle blog reader.

Simplicy 101 September Check List gave me ideas for our  home, but too overwhelming.

Flylady's daily e-mail:

You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.? Perfectionism is Shelved in 2012!

I am behind, though, FlyLady. I can shelve perfectionism. I have been shelving perfection like the encyclopedia that no one reads anymore. Don't worry. I don't have The Worldbook  like my parents did. I took this picture in the library where our Alzheimer's Association support group meets.

 

Speaking of that support group, as is our monthly habit on the second Tuesday, hubby and Jake hung out at our cluttered home while Sally and I went to the support group . Two persons whose spouses have died from Alzheimer's even come to offer their wisdom for our journey in this support group. After this support group we went with our husbands to a bookstore and to dinner.

At that bookstore, I found THE book that I will be blogging about--The House That Cleans Itself by Mindy Stark Clark. This post (but not this new book) has been planned since Part One. (When you call it Part One, you have to have a Part Two.) I began reading it while substituting yesterday, Thursday. Don't we all want a house that cleans itself! Here it is called the HTCI system and I now have my spiral HTCI notebook. Mindy (not my blogging friend) writes:

The first step in your home's transformation is to get a fresh, clean spiral notebook. You'll be using this notebook throughout your house transformation, so choose one with a brightly colored cover so it won't get lost in the mess.(p. 21)

My spiral notebook I bought last night has HO-PE in two lines on the cover and I put a sticker in the middle of it that says "HELLO I'M HTCI". I can't control my husband's disease, but I am controlling my eating and I can control my home.

Step One. You make a floor plan.

Step Two. Decide your "home base zone". Mine is our master bath and the guest bathroom. If those areas (HBZ) are always kept clean, I will be happy. Flylady's is her kitchen sink. What is yours?

Step Three I will do Saturday when all I have to do is Weight Watchers at 7 am in the morning. I will report back to you all here on this step three.

Step Four says the book is to put God at the center. "Prayer walk your home." It is not just that the house needs order so it can be cleaned, my spirit needs order. I need to thank God for my blessings and confess my mess to Him. Mindy writes on her own journey, "I needed to prayer walk my house to put God at the center of my housecleaning mission" (p. 42).

Step Five is gathering tools and documenting the evidence. This is what you need the spiral notebook for. You also take pictures of everything.

Step Six is evaluate the evidence; step six and the rest of the book will be lived out in later posts here.

HBZ report added Saturday, Sept. 15.  While I substitute taught on Friday I made the floor plan above. You will see that I have decided my priorities. I did the prayer walk and am so glad I did. Instead of looking at all the mess and excess in the house, I thanked God for so many things and also confessed my shortcomings and asked for His help. I feel cleansed myself. Thank you, Lord.

In the purging of the bathroom, I discovered humor in the picture. Why does a husband going bald need hair thickening? Why do we have his prescription from 2003 from a pharmacy that no longer exists and a doctor he no longer goes to?  There's the Dulcolax that is needed every three to five years for our horrible colon cancer exam! At least I won't buy another one and now will know where it is. Who needs maxipads in the house?



(By the way I will turn in this prescription for an oxy derivitive to a drug store so it gets disposed of properly and doesn't get into the water supply. You know I could sell it illegally and make money, but I WILL NOT.)

Music Therapy

Here is a helpful link: Music Therapy for Individuals With Alzheimer's and Other Dementias

From Pinterest

Music is the universal language. I am intentionally playing such music for my husband because I understand music is the universal language for our loved ones who happen to have dementia.When we travel in our old gas guzzler car, usually I put music on in the car through the speaker from my five year old iPod. An adapter plugs right into the old cassette slot and connects to that iPod. My husband and I listen to a worship playlist on Sundays on the way to church. The Sunday that I forgot my iPod, we sang hymns all the way to church.

Like Dolores' sweet husband David, DH loves country music. Our friends Sally and Jake have also introduced us to Blue Grass music.  I love playing our piano and need to do that sometimes also so I introduce this into our routine. That is, when my carpel tunnel wrists are better. Too much computer, folks, but I am using MSM from the health food store and wearing braces on my wrists at night.

There is actually an iPod drive for old iPods to benefit Alzheimer's patients. See here. Many people have those lying around because they have smart phones now. I have resisted getting an iPhone and even stopped texting to save expenses and to save my carpel tunnel wrists.

Even though my wrists are hurting these days, my legs are not. This will be the third fall that I am walking in the Alzheimer's Association event. So is Sally and I need to start raising money. Our husbands will hang out while we walk.